Do you want your life to serve as a warning or an example?

“Our lives serve as either a warning or an example to others.” Tony Robbins

You have a choice.

You can choose to be an example of what’s possible. Of what a passion-filled life looks like. To be a poster child for healthy, vibrant and JOYFUL. Living a life around your purpose and making a difference.

Or, you can choose to serve as a warning for what happens when you don’t take responsibility for your life and instead allow yourself to be a “victim” to circumstance, the economy or other people’s behavior. Frustrated, lacking fulfilment, depressed and stressed out.

Choose to make your life an EXAMPLE!

This is NOT about being “picture perfect” or fitting into some kind of society driven image of successful. It’s about taking responsibility for your life and living to the fullest. Would you rather be fit, energetic and healthy, inspiring others to do the same, or would you rather develop a serious illness that reminds everyone around you that life is short? Would you rather take risks and live life to the fullest, enjoying every single chaotic moment you have, or be that old woman on her death bed warning her grand-children not to waste their life being “safe” and cautious?

The truth is, it’s about YOU, not anyone else.

It’s about you getting honest with yourself and living a life you can be proud of. One that you can look back on one day and say, “I rocked the sh*t out of it and enjoyed every single moment!”

Let’s look at some ways you can do just that…

Stop “just getting through” your life.

Working for the weekend? For that summer vacation? For something else, that’s sometime in the future? Stop it. Live for NOW. Make this moment the best moment of your life! Bring more pleasure into everything, stay present and engaged, and don’t waste your time daydreaming about the future. That’s the best way to allow life to slip right on by.

How can you make your job more enjoyable? Should you be doing more fulfilling work? Is this job really worth wasting 40 hours of YOUR LIFE every single week? Take a look at the things you do in your life that require you to “get through” them. Where can you make changes so that you’re living a more fulfilling, joyful and memorable life?

Take better care of yourself.

I get it, donuts, pizza, soda… they taste good. They bring temporary pleasure into your life… but it’s not lasting and it’s not worth it. You get ONE BODY. Just one. So take better care of it! If you want to live a life that is memorable, exciting, filled with passion and joy, you need to be nourishing your body, not poisoning it.

If you don’t want to end up with disease, then take responsibility for your health RIGHT NOW. Not later on… down the road. NOW. Bring in more veggies, whole fruits and water. Stop drinking soda and alcohol. Stop eating processed crap. Get rid of the coffee and give green smoothies and juices a try.

Stop hiding.

“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” Nelson Mandela

Stop trying to fit in, instead embrace all that is weird and quirky about you. Own up to your preferences and opinions. Do the things YOU want to do, not just what your friends or family wants to do. Choose your work based on your passions, not what society or anyone else says is a better fit. Wear what you want to wear, do what you want to do and say what you want to say.

Stop hiding your uniquely beautiful self from the world.

That’s another sure-fire way to waste GOBS of time and energy. In relationships you don’t belong in, at jobs that don’t fulfill you and with people that don’t get you. What’s the point?

Make a difference.

Whether it’s recycling, volunteering or donating to a cause, be of service! Living a life of service is one of the best things you can do FOR YOURSELF, as well as for others and our world. Seriously, the fastest way to feeling fulfilled, happy and filled with love is to give back. Pick a cause that’s close to your heart and find a way to support it.

You don’t have to give hours and hours or tons of money… maybe you just volunteer occasionally, spread their message across social media or donate when you have extra money to give. Or, find a way to incorporate your cause into your every day life! Eat less meat, work somewhere that sponsors non-profits or shop at environmentally friendly stores.

Take Action NOW!

Where are you playing small, treating yourself poorly or wasting precious time and energy? What steps can you take TODAY, this week or this month to remedy it? How can you bring more pleasure into your life and make it more memorable? Share one thing you’re going to shift in the comments below.

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Get Over Yourself and Start Living an AWESOME Life

As we become adults (especially us women), we tend to form a nasty habit of having to be self sufficient. Maybe we just want to prove that we can take care of ourselves or maybe it’s that we don’t want to be seen as weak or helpless.

Either way, it’s prideful and it doesn’t serve anyone. Especially not YOU.

Knowing how to take care of yourself, learn new things and gain life skills is essential to living an awesome life, but once you cross that line into being prideful for the sake of proving something to the world, you start to do yourself a great disservice.

For starters, you begin down a path towards total overwhelm in your life. Think about it, if you never let anyone do anything for you, that’s a LOT of stuff you’re responsible for! Second, you never allow anyone the JOY of giving you a gift. Whether it’s that they simply want to make your life easier or love and adore you so much that they’re more than happy to help… you squash their ability to express this to you and leave BOTH parties feeling crummy. Last, but not least, you never give yourself the opportunity to excel in one area OR experience the time and freedom we all deeply desire.

Three ways to start living an awesome life:

As the title says, get over yourself!

You do not have to know EVERYTHING. Knowing everything does not make you any more worthy of love, acceptance or joy. Knowing how to fix your brakes, cook a five course meal and discuss the stock market like you know what you’re talking about doesn’t make you a better person. It just makes you more knowledgeable.

If it’s knowledge you NEED or DESIRE to know, awesome. If it’s not, ask yourself why you’re so hell bent on knowing it. Is it to prove something to the world, or maybe feel like you measure up to someone else? Is it some kind of over-zealous feminist statement to the men in your life? Why does it matter? Does it bring you joy? If it’s not a need or desire, I’d venture to guess the answer is a big NO.

So knock it off! Who you are, what you know and the things that you’re drawn to ARE ENOUGH. You are PERFECT. You are unique and you are amazing whether you know these things or not.

Hire it out!

Once you get comfortable with the idea of not needing to know everything, take a look at what you’re doing that’s NOT within your realm of expertise, passion or skill set. That’s right, I included PASSION. Do you hate, with a capital H, anything tech related? Does talk about engine coolant and wiper blade sizes make you want to jump off a cliff? Is cleaning your home the bane of your existence? Hire it out!

I used to change my oil… something that was not my area of expertise, passion or within my skill set. Part of me did it to save money and another to prove that I was a car girl (I title I’d outgrown fairly soon after gaining it). Then one day I realized that I REALLY didn’t enjoy working on cars. Like, at all. So now? I hire it out and spend my time doing the things I do enjoy.

Sure, you could learn the skills necessary or do the research, but why bother? It’s just going to make you miserable and be a HUGE waste of your time. Imagine what you could do with that time instead? I promise that once you start hiring more things out, you’ll become more productive and feel LOADS happier! If money’s an issue, start small, but start with the thing that is the worst use of your time and energy.

Ask for help when you need it.

Stop being prideful. There is NOTHING wrong with asking for help. Sometimes you just don’t know how to do something and sometimes you just don’t care to. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Whether it’s asking for financial help from your parents, having a friend help you move or even asking for emotional support during a tough time… release your pride and just ask.

Needing help doesn’t make you weak, in fact, quote the opposite. It makes you strong, smart, resourceful and realistic. Being prideful is a weakness, asking for help when you know you’re in over your head is a STRENGTH. Don’t ever forget that.

Take Action Now!

Get honest with me (and yourself!) in the comments below. Where are you being prideful? Where do you push yourself to be something you’re not? How are you wasting your precious time in order to prove something to someone else? Based on the action items above, tell me at least ONE thing you intend to do differently going forward.

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Why it Doesn’t Matter What Other People Think

One of the hardest aspects of making positive changes in your life is dealing with other people. Your family, “friends” and colleagues. The people who believe that, because they’re in your life, they have a say in what you do and that their opinion should always be considered.

But when it comes to YOU and YOUR life, you are the only person who’s opinion matters.

If you make the choice to create positive changes, FOR YOURSELF, that is all that matters. You don’t need anyone’s approval, validation or support… and most of the time, you really should avoid it.

Why it Doesn’t Matter What Other People Think

Sometimes people respond from a place of fear.

Most people are uncomfortable with change… so when you mix things up, they’re not likely to be your biggest supporter. They’re not used to your new style, interests or habits, and this is disruptive or uncomfortable. From this place of fear, they tend to nudge you back to THEIR comfort zone.

Maybe your friends are playfully pressuring you to eat crappy food or have a drink, despite the fact that you’ve decided to shift to a more healthy lifestyle. Maybe your significant other doesn’t like that fact that you joined a book club because they’re insecure about you meeting other people. Maybe your family gives you a hard time about the job you took in another state because it means that they have to learn to deal with distance in your relationship.

It’s selfish and does not have your best interests in mind. Be cautious of fear based input.

Sometimes people just don’t get it… and they don’t get YOU.

If you’ve made the decision to make positive shifts and someone in your life is not supportive or is totally against the idea, they likely aren’t someone who A) cares about YOUR needs, or B) really gets you.

When people in your life get you, they’ll be able to see your side, support you and will also cheer you on! These are the people that check in with you on your progress, find ways to motivate you, and care if you reach your goals.

People that aren’t supportive and don’t get you don’t get to have a say in what you do. Ever.

You are the only person with an opinion that matters.

This is your life! Your body, your career, your time, and your happiness that’s at stake. It’s important to be considerate of other people in your life, but it comes down to what you want and what you need to be happy and healthy. The best way you can serve other people is to take care of yourself first.

When it comes to choices and change, always do a gut check. What do YOU want to do? What would make YOU feel joy, passion, healthy or on the right path? Do that. No other opinions needed.

Take Action Now!

Leave me a comment below and tell me one area of your life where you’re receiving push back from outside sources? Can you identify the fear based opinions and nudges? Where maybe you need new friends and supporters? Where have you denied your gut instincts to appease other people?

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Never “Lose Yourself” Again

If you’re experiencing unhappiness or lack of fulfillment in your life, there’s a good chance that at some point, you lost sight of yourself. Maybe you met a boy who “tamed” your wild and creative soul. Maybe you went to school for something practical rather than following your whims and staying playful and spirited. Maybe you allowed yourself to give into peer pressure when you were younger in order to “fit in.”

Whatever it was, you lost yourself.

The quarter- and mid-life crisis happens because we choose to walk down a different path than the one that’s TRUE to ourselves. We get practical jobs, buy homes and cars, have children… “live the dream.”

And then one day we realize that we’re living a life completely out of line with our TRUTH and we freak the fug out. We think something along the lines of, “WHOA, this is NOT where I belong!”

So what happens after this moment? How do you FIND and KEEP yourself going forward?

Instead of looking at what’s missing, wrong or “lost” about you and your life… discover more of what’s already there.

Fact: You never really LOST yourself.

It’s true… you didn’t lose anything, you just tucked it away. Deep down inside yourself and covered it up with layers of what’s expected and what’s acceptable. With the things you thought you should do. What made sense was practical.

“Finding yourself” is more about removing all the layers of crap and less about trying to figure out what you’ve lost. It’s about stepping fully and completely into your truth, living your purpose and doing what LIGHTS YOU UP.

How to excavate your TRUTH:

1. Be inquisitive with yourself.

If something is so clearly wrong in your life, explore the why behind it, like a child. Why? Why? WHY? Why is this not right for me? WHY does this not feel like me? WHY do I want something different? WHY did I choose this in the first place and how was that not true to who I really am?

When you explore what’s not working and WHY, you begin to uncover what really matters and what you really want.

2. Listen to your tiny urgres.

What’s been nagging at your heart lately? Do you feel a pull to dye your hair a crazy color or totally change things up? Maybe you want to wear 4″ heels out on the town despite having been a casual home body your whole life. Do you deeply desire creating art and having your own showing, despite having worked as a banker for years?

Tiny urges are there to guide you to your truth. The fact is, your purpose may not be to paint or become an artist, but the act of painting may allow your mind to shut off long enough for you to hear your truth. Getting out on the town in your high heels may give you back the energy and zest for life necessary to uncovering your purpose and making it happen.

Pick a tiny urge, get to work following it. You never know where it will lead!

3. Stop doing/seeing/being the things you know are wrong.

Just stop. Don’t spend another minute with the guy that’s not right for you. Don’t go to one more party with the “friends” you know you don’t fit in with. Stop wearing what you think you should. Stop saying what everyone wants to hear. Stop being someone you know you’re NOT.

STOPPING allows space for starting to do the things you really want to do. It allows the new great friends to show up in your life. The right guy to bump into you at the store. The room for you to speak your mind and become the person you ALREADY ARE, deep down.

Take Action Now

Tell me one way you’ve been untrue to yourself in the past or present. What steps will you take to discover more of your truth? To allow yourself to be YOU, all of the time?

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Don’t be a “One Trick Pony” in Life

As we begin to grow older and we’re no longer exposed to new ideas, people, experiences or lessons through things like attending school, we start to get a little stale.

Maybe it’s that we’ve settled into a regular form of exercise… you’ve been running for years.

We resort to the same tried and true ways of showing others we care… you sent flowers, again.

Or maybe at work we use our same little tricks to get the job done… more drop shadows anyone?

There’s nothing necessarily wrong with these things on their own, but when you resort to being a “one trick pony” in any, and in some cases, ALL areas of your life, that’s when you’re going to have problems.

What’s the big deal anyway?

It’s tried and true… it WORKS. So what’s the big deal with sticking to what you’ve been doing for some time now? When you settle into “what works,” you effectively STOP GROWING as a person. You stop trying new and different things, expanding your mind, learning new skills and finding NEW ways to connect with yourself, others and the world around you.

If you’re feeling “bleh” about life, there’s a very good chance you’ve become a “one trick pony.”

You’re bored… in a rut… lacking inspiration, possibility and PASSION. You’re doing just enough to get things done. Nothing more, because this’ll do. Don’t fix it if it ain’t broken, right? Wrong.

Sure, there a times that you really don’t need to mess with what’s working, but when you find yourself in a life rut, stale and lacking passion and joy, it’s time to change things up!

How to break out of the “One Trick Pony” lifestyle…

Do something DIFFERENT.

If you’re deep in a rut or not a fan of change, this might sound a little overwhelming, but not to worry… you can start small! Start by taking a new route home from work or checking out a different grocery store for shopping. Buy a new type of salad dressing or eat at a restaurant with a cuisine you’ve never experienced! Buy a new detergent with a different scent!

Once you get comfortable making little changes in your daily and weekly routines, move it on up to the big ones! Challenge yourself to do something at work in a completely NEW and DIFFERENT way. How can you improve? Change things up? Bring in new flair and style? Pick up a new book on the work that you do and try a new technique! Take a class, switch roles in the company or move to a new company with a completely different product or service.

Look at each area of your life and begin to pinpoint where you might be a one trick pony stuck in a massive rut. Instead of flowers or cards, what’s a new and fun way you can show someone you care? What’s a new and different way you can move your body in addition to what you already love?

By doing things differently, you’ll find more joy and excitement in your life. You’ll also be making sure to keep your brain healthy by giving it new challenges on a regular basis.

Learn something new.

I’m talking TOTALLY new here! While it’s great to change things up and learn new things in areas you’re already skilled, it’s even better to challenge yourself to something you’ve never done before. The best part about this one is that when you’re in a rut or not totally in love with your life, you’re likely to gravitate towards something that is in line with your passion and purpose. You’re also likely to be drawn towards something that fills a void in your life.

Maybe you have a secret longing for photography or you’d love to take a pottery class to tend to the neglected creative within you. Perhaps you want take a course on caring for sick animals or working with special needs children to share your love and give back.

Take some time to think about what you’d really LOVE to learn, then find a tutor, class, course or meetup group where you can begin to learn more about it!

Challenge yourself to CONSTANTLY learn and grow!

Make a personal commitment to continue learning and growing as a person. Don’t just move from one rut into another. If you’re taking a new class this month, sign up for a free lecture series on a new topic next month. Go to the library and browse a random area that you’ve never visited… maybe it’s the cook book section, arts and crafts or advanced calculus! The only requirements are that you have an interest in it and you’re OPEN to learning something NEW.

Take action now!

Leave a comment below sharing at least ONE area where you may be living as a “one trick pony.” Share with me how you’re going to start shaking things up! Will you start small and take a new route home from work or are you going to sign up for a class?

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