Why You Didn’t Get What You Asked For
Have you ever really, REALLY wanted something? The perfect apartment, a great guy or new job? Maybe it was a trip with your friends to a tropical destination or a really awesome new tech gadget.
You told everyone that you had to have it… you prayed, wished, vision boarded and focused your intention on it… but it just didn’t happen. You fell short on cash, didn’t make it in time or something else threw a great big monkey wrench in the plan.
Before you get negative and think, “nothing ever works out for me,” you’re not alone!
While that can definitely be a bummer, there IS a reason.
Four Reasons You Didn’t Get What You Asked For
1. You weren’t specific enough.
For starters, the universe can’t deliver if it’s unclear on what you want.
“I need more money,” is not the same as, “I need $4,375.38 by March 1st.” Being specific also helps YOU get clarity on what you actually want. If you don’t know enough about what you desire, you can’t expect it to magically appear. Even if it did you wouldn’t know it!
When deciding what you want, whether it’s a soul mate, new job or material object, you HAVE to be as specific as possible. How much? What size? What color? By when? With who?
The more specific you can be, the more you’ll be able to envision and experience it before receiving. The power of mentally experiencing the essence of what you desire has major manifestation power.
2. You didn’t take ACTION.
Just the same as you can’t expect the pizza delivery guy to show up when you decide you want to eat, despite the fact that you didn’t feel like getting off your butt to make the phone call, you can’t expect the universe to do all the work for you.
If you want a glorious new position at a fabulous firm downtown, AWESOME. Place your specific order with the universe and then get to work. Find the perfect interview outfit, get you resume in tip top shape (or ditch it for something way more creative), start sending emails and making calls!
The universe works WITH you, not for you. Do your part!
3. It’s not in line with who you really are.
If you’re not in a place of true authenticity and honesty with yourself, then you’re not likely to get what you asked for. It’s all about energy.
If what you’re asking for is incongruent with who you are on a core level, whether you’re aware of it or not, you won’t receive it! OR, you’ll have to fight tooth and nail (massive action on your part – think pushing and pulling) to make it happen.
Take resistance from the universe as a sign that maybe you need to really re-evaluate your motives. Is it more about public image or meeting external expectations? Superficial attraction to someone who would NOT love and adore you? Attracting clients to do work that you really shouldn’t be doing?
Really take the time to check in with yourself on WHY you want what you’re asking for.
4. There is a much greater plan in the works.
Everything DOES happen for a reason! Sometimes the most amazing opportunities and experiences happen AFTER you miss out on the one you thought you wanted. The guy you’re dating skips out on you and the next day you meet Mr. Awesome. You get laid off from your job and the perfect opportunity to travel AND make money falls in your lap.
This doesn’t just happen in the movies. If you can move past that initial disappointment and stay open and receptive to what the universe has in store for you and you’ll see that amazing things begin to happen –- things you never would have considered for yourself!
Even if you fight hard for what you think you want, if it’s wrong, something will fall through… maybe not at first, maybe even a few years in… you WILL be nudged in the right direction.
Work on being open to the flow of life and save yourself time and energy!
Take Action Now!
Leave a comment below sharing one thing you asked for, desired or went after, but didn’t get. Can you find the gift in the situation? What happened afterward that you would have missed out on? How was it out of line with who you truly are? If you’re not sure and still feeling negative, say to yourself OUT LOUD and with loads of enthusiasm, “something AH-MAZING is about to happen and I am SO ready for it!!!”
Pssst! If you’re ready to dig deep and take an honest look at your life, discover what you REALLY want and make an easy-to-implement action plan to make it happen FAST, then my digital program Foundations for Unshakable Joy is for you!
How to be 100% Prepared to Make 2012 Your BEST Year Ever
As another year comes to a close, this is a natural time to do some reflecting and planing. I personally take myself through an “annual review” in which I take an audit of where I’m at in my life, what I accomplished, what I didn’t accomplish and begin to create plans and systems for the year ahead. I originally heard of this concept from Chris over at Art of Non-Conformity and have since adapted it to my own personal process.
I think this is an essential step that most people bypass.
They dive straight into resolutions and goals… but when you haven’t taken an honest assessment of how the last year, resolutions and goals went, you’re likely to simply repeat whatever cycle you’ve been living. I’ve personally heard people in my life repeat the same resolution year after year. If they had, however, taken the time to really reflect on what they set out to do and why they did or did not accomplish it, they would be in a position to celebrate the past year as well as create new goals and resolutions to continue moving forward.
How to Conduct Your Own Review
1) What did you accomplish this past year?
It’s so important to acknowledge all the big and small things that you accomplished or experienced over the year. You’ve done far more than you give yourself credit for and RIGHT NOW is the time to really reflect and appreciate these wins.
I want you to list out AT LEAST 25 things that you accomplished in this past year!
2) What did you set out to do, but did not accomplish? Why not?
If you want to make progress on your dreams and goals, you have to honestly assess what you did not accomplish and WHY. It’s so important to understand the why! Maybe the goal was far too lofty or you realized you just didn’t have any interest in completing it after all. If you want to acheive what you set out to do in 2012, you really need to understand what prevented you from doing so this past year. Then you can work to avoid obstacles and roadblocks going forward!
I want you to list out all the things you set out to achieve but didn’t, and more importantly, WHY you didn’t. This is a no judgement zone. Do NOT feel guilty or like you’ve failed! It’s a waste of precious energy that could be put towards creating success in the days to come.
3) Select a word for 2012.
The way to ensure that you experience the things you want to experience, live the life you desire and make amazing things happen is to create a theme for the year to come. What do you want to feel and experience next year? What do you want the tone of your life to be for the next 12 months? What is a word that captures the essence of all of this?
For me, 2012 is going to be the year of abundance, financially and beyond. I intend to experience abundance in my relationships, my work, my bank accounts, my happiness levels and the miracles and magic I experience in collaboration with others and the universe.
Take some time to think about what you want to feel and experience, then find ONE WORD that sums it up. Write this out and paste it above your work station or on your bathroom mirror.
4) Set goals that propel you forward.
Now that you know what you want to feel and experience in your life, what goals will support that in all areas of your life? Let’s take my word for example… abundance. For me to feel and experience this in 2012, I need to put the proper financial systems into place, get clear on what projects and clients I want to work on, what relationships in my life to cultivate and how to integrate more of the things that bring me joy and fulfillment.
Knowing this allows me to set goals that keep me inspired and focused for the next year. It gets me clear on what I need to STOP doing, who I need to STOP seeing and what things are counterproductive to abundance. It helps me choose goals that MATTER, that are important to me and will allow me to create the life I really want.
NO RESOLUTIONS. These are usually just things you “think” you should do and that is the very reason you likely won’t achieve them. All this does is set you up for disappointment in yourself, leaving you paralyzed and frustrated.
Goals that propel you forward are ones that EXCITE you. They will leave you feeling accomplished, inspired and energized when you reach them. Instead of “lose 10lbs,” how about run a marathon this year? Instead of “make X more money,” how about create and sell that product, artwork or other item that you’ve been longing to produce your whole life? The difference is that you will achieve the mundane goal in the process, but you will feel so much more compelled to do so because you’ve created a goal that inspires you.
Take action NOW!
I want you to share some or all of the following with me in the comments:
1) GLOAT. What did you accomplish in 2011? Hold nothing back, I want to celebrate with you!!
2) What did not go well in 2011? What did you learn when you asked yourself WHY?
3) What is your word for 2012?
4) Share with me one goal that will propel you forward next year?
Psssst! My program, Foundations for Unshakable Joy, is launching on February 7th, 2012! It’s the EXACT foundational process that took me from a stressed and depressed mess, to living the joy-filled life I lead today, following my passions and working for myself in beautiful Hawaii. I’ll teach you how to determine what YOU want in life and exactly how to make it happen, FAST. My list will receive first dibs on some special offers. Get on my list NOW! :)
Read More...The Four Things You MUST be Doing to Build a Life Around Your Passion
If you’re like me, there’s probably something in your life that you’re deeply passionate about. You would love to build your life around this passion, your purpose, or your craft, but you “just can’t.”
After all, you have responsibilities. To your family, maybe even your children or your spouse. Maybe you have a responsibility to that bank that holds your car loan. You can’t just give your whole life two weeks notice and start living your dream tomorrow. Besides, what would people think?!
So you continue to work at that job that pays well… you socialize with the people in your life… you do the things that everyone else is doing. You figure that you’ll create a life around your passions, later. When the bills are paid and the timing is right.
But you’re not happy, because you want MORE. You want a life that’s centered around the things that light you up. A life surrounded by people that you connect with on a deep level. Where you’re doing things that nurture your soul. You want to be GREAT and live an AMAZING life filled with joy, passion and fulfillment. And you also know that you shouldn’t have to wait for the time “to be right.”
So what’s a gal to do?
How to Build a Life Around Your Passion
Commit, 100% to Becoming The Person You’re Meant to Be
The MOST IMPORTANT thing that you can do is commit 100% to becoming the person that you’re meant to be, living the life you so deeply desire to live. This means more than just saying, “I want this.” It means that you will go after this dream of yours with every ounce of energy that you have!
It means structuring your life in a way that can only support your success. You may have to work at a job you don’t like in an unrelated industry, that’s okay. If you’re ready to commit to making your dream a reality, then find a job that allows you to be done at the end of the day. Don’t look for the competitive position with room for growth, look for something that pays and lets you leave when the day is over.
Committing 100% means you don’t waste time sitting on the couch watching hours of MINDLESS television. It means you’re reading, practicing, applying, writing or DOING SOMETHING that moves you closer to your goal. It’s all about hustle baby!
Yes, take breaks, care for yourself, but COMMIT to making it happen by eliminating anything in your life that does not support your growth, OR making the necessary changes (like with your job) so that it’s more supportive of your dream.
Give Yourself Proper Nourishment: Mind, Body and Soul
In this day, it’s so easy for our mind, body and soul to be completely depleted of any energy, inspiration or joy. Between stressing about the bills, relationship troubles or the never ending stream of online information and entertainment, we’ve lost sight of what’s REALLY IMPORTANT to our success.
Your dream may require that you spend hours online hustling, but your dream also requires that you spend hours nurturing your mind, body and soul. Without your physical and emotional well being, you’re nothing. Literally. Nothing.
Making sure that you move your body, fill your tummy with healthy foods and spend time meditating, writing in your journal, or doing any form of contemplative practice is ESSENTIAL to your success. Without the energy, mental clarity and spiritual strength that these practices give you, you’ll only find yourself more stressed, more lost and more out of sorts than ever before.
It is a PRIORITY to care for yourself.
Write in your journal, take hot baths, drink tea and read a good book, DAILY. Meditate, practice yoga, walk, pray… do whatever it is that brings you peace and clarity, DAILY.
Train and Practice… CONSTANTLY
I don’t think there’s a single great writer, speaker, athlete, artist or other that started out at the top of their game. First, it takes discovering what it is that they’re passionate about… then it takes LEARNING how to do it… and most importantly, it takes PRACTICE! Constant practice is the key to mastering whatever it is that you want to master in your life.
If your dream is to be a world renowned author, you had better be writing EVERY DAY. Reading books, practicing your craft, trying new things and GROWING. You can’t find your voice, hone your skills and blow the minds of this world if you aren’t writing ALL. THE. TIME.
If your dream is to create beautiful art and make a lot of money doing it, you had better be making art AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE. Capturing ideas, filling the inspiration well, trying new techniques, turning sketches into finished pieces… you have to be practicing your craft CONSTANTLY.
If you want to be great, and live an amazing life doing what you love, you can NOT overlook the parts that require you to work HARD at being the best that you can. People that are the making a living doing what they love, they know how important it is to constantly learn, grow, try new things, fail, and try again.
Practice, practice, practice, but also TRAIN. Train with the masters, with your idols and with anyone who can teach you something that you NEED to know. There’s no sense in being prideful… yes, if you wanted to, I know that you could learn whatever it is you need to learn totally on your own. But someone else has already spent YEARS learning what you need to know and can literally teach it to you in a matter of HOURS. Let them teach you. You’ll get there faster.
Surround Yourself With the RIGHT Team
It is so, so, SO important to surround yourself with the right people. If you’re trying to commit to your goals and your dream, but no one in your life cares enough to check in on you or support you, then it’s time to find a new support system.
Find people that are passionate like you are… it doesn’t have to be the same field, and it doesn’t mean these people don’t know how to have fun or talk about other things, the point is that they will support you. They will understand what you’re going through as you push hard, learn, grow and hit unavoidable bumps in the road.
They will cheer you on and keep you motivated when you’ve lost steam. They will remind you to take those necessary breaks, to nurture your soul and to remember the end goal when you feel like giving up.
No matter how strong or independent you may be, you need this support system for when things get hard, because things getting hard is unavoidable. You will hit bumps in the road, obstacles, set backs and emotional breakdowns. You don’t want to be surrounded by people that don’t support your dreams when this happens. You want people who know how much it means to you so that they can remind you of this when you’ve forgotten in the midst of stress.
Take Action Now
Do you have a dream or passion in your life? Have you committed to it 100%? Leave a comment below sharing your passion along with three things you’re going to implement or change in your life to show your commitment to making it happen.
Not sure what you want out of life? I’m getting ready to launch a program that will help you not only determine what it is you really want out of life, but what steps you need to take to get there, fast. Subscribe to my list below and receive a special discount when it launches!
Perform Better, Crush Resistance and Get Sh*t Done (I Tell You HOW!)
Don’t ever say you can’t, because you can. You can always make it happen at the eleventh hour, just before the buzzer or when you’re back’s against the wall.
For most people, pressure is what pushes us through resistance, mental blocks and mediocrity. This is normal human behavior… but it also means that you CAN do better. You CAN gain control over your time management, stress levels, perceived obstacles and excuses.
Or as most people like to call them, “reasons.”
You are capable because you make it happen when you have to. So to do better on a day-to-day basis, it’s simply a matter or learning how to make it happen when you WANT it to.
Perform Better, Crush Resistance and Get Sh*t Done
Create Pressure On Your Own
If you really want to do better, then find someone who’s willing to hold you accountable. This could be a colleague, a good friend, a family member or a life/business coach. The only requirement is that they’re capable of understanding how important their role is in this setup. It can’t be a, “maybe we should do it because it’ll help” type mentality. They have to take their accountability role seriously.
Once you’ve found the right person for the job, tell them what it is that you need/want to accomplish and by when! Once you know the deadline, work backwards and set accountability date. It’s important to clearly state what you plan to accomplish.
For example, if you want to write a book, how many pages or chapters will be completed, and by when? If you want to lose weight, how many pounds will you lose by each check in? If you want to save money, how much will you have set aside each time that you talk? Your mini-goals should ensure that you’ll reach your target by the final date.
If you don’t meet the targets that you set, your accountability partner should help you determine what went wrong and where adjustments should be made to get you back on track.
You don’t have to do this alone!
Another great way to set pressure? Announce your deadlines and what you’re doing to the world. Share it in an email to friends and family, spread the word on social media and shout it from the rooftops! Once you put that intention out there for others to see, it automatically creates pressure to come through.
Build In Systems, Structure and Motivation to Bypass Resistance
What gets you in the zone when you finally do get crackin’? What inspires you to do work when you otherwise wouldn’t bother? What pumps you up and gets you excited about a project or challenge?
All of these little things that you think nothing of, these are essential triggers to improving your productivity and focus so that you meet your personal and professional goals.
If watching something gets you pumped up, create a folder or tab on your browser for these types of videos. If certain songs get you in the right zone, create a play list on your iPod or computer. If pictures or quotes motivate you, create a mini vision board and hang it about your desk where you’ll see it.
If you notice that going for a drive or a walk gets your inspiration and juices flowing, then build that into your work routine. If putting on your swimsuit makes you antsy to workout, then put that bad boy on, stand in the mirror and then lace up your tennis shoes!
Stop Making Excuses
Everyone has “reasons” why they can’t get things done or they miss a deadline or goal.
They’re all excuses and they need to stop.
Just because your friends eat unhealthy and will makes comments if you get a salad, isn’t a good reason to eat unhealthy. Just because your neighbor was making a lot of noise, isn’t a good reason for you to slack off on your work or reading. They’re excuses, no matter which way you try to swing them.
Knock it off and start looking for SOLUTIONS. You’re in control here, remember?
Remove “Can’t” From Your Vocabulary
Can’t rarely ever means that you really, physically can not do something. Usually it’s code for, “I don’t want to.” Or, “It’s too much work.”
From this point forward, I forbid you to use can’t when you speak about your goals or the things that you need and want to get done. If you “can’t focus because of the noise,” reframe that thought to, “I could focus better if I went downstairs or to the library.” When you eliminate the possibility of can’t from coming out of your mouth, you’re suddenly presented with all the possible solutions to your perceived road block.
Commit to Doing Better
Fully and completely commit to DOING BETTER. To working harder, figuring out what makes you move and what holds you back, and making ADJUSTMENTS as needed. Commit to being proactive, taking responsibility and eliminating excuses.
If you’re not mentally committed to making changes, things will always stay the same.
“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you always got.” Mark Twain
Take Action Now!
Leave a comment and out yourself on a goal or commitment that you want to make. Get specific on what you’ll achieve and by when. Have an excuse reason that you want to share? Leave it in the comments and I’ll show you some solutions.
Slow Your Roll (The Power of Stepping Back)
Before my mastermind retreat a couple weeks ago I was feeling very tired.
Physically exhausted, mentally drained and tired of pushing, almost desperately, towards some personal and professional goals. I’d hit a real wall and there had been little to no synchonistic events in my life causing everything to suddenly seem impossible. Ever been there?
So what happened?
When you’re pushing way too hard, you’re bound to hit this wall. The urgency of getting somewhere RIGHT NOW will leave you stressed, drained and frustrated. Being in this sort of mental state leaves you tired and majorly unproductive, only further fueling the cycle.
Even worse, you’re essentially telling the universe that you don’t trust it to support you, manifest your desires and bring the appropriate opportunities your way.
You stop the flow, putting more pressure on yourself.
You Have to Slow Down to Reignite the Flow
When I realized what was happening, I made a conscious decision to take a step back. I stopped pushing so hard, put my focus on a few priorities and RELAXED.
Amazing things happened.
An awesome new friend and supporter appeared in my life. Not only is she someone I’d been searching for on a personal level, but she came along with something that I needed. Something I’d been pushing hard to find, only to come up empty handed again and again. This something had become an enormous block for me professionally, and she offered it up with a loving smile and generous heart.
Additionally, I’ve been absolutely bursting at the seams with inspiration and clarity. I’ve found a massively productive groove, fine tuned my self care and work routines and am feeling so much joy. Work has started to pick up, projects that stalled out are moving forward and my goals feel possible again.
How to Reignite the Flow in YOUR Life
First, get honest with yourself.
Are you pushing too hard? Burning yourself out? Frantically trying to make something happen RIGHT THIS MINUTE? Are you stressed? Depressed? Physically and emotionally exhausted?
The first step is acknowledging the pattern. Do this with zero judgment. Simply recognize how you may be pushing too hard and the ways in which it’s effecting your life.
Second, SLOW. DOWN.
Take a step back and stop pushing so hard. I promise this will not make you any less productive than you will be if you keep pushing like you are. If you don’t take some time to relax and trust in the universe, you’re going to run yourself straight into the ground, without accomplishing a single thing.
Take a hot bath, go to the park, play with your cat… call up your mom AND best friend. Order your favorite take out and pop in your favorite movie. Rest, relax, recover. The universe has your back and will be making moves in your favor while you’re taking this time out for yourself.
Third, clearly state your intentions.
Why are you pushing so hard? What is it that you want to create and what do you need to show up in your life to create it? Get clear about your intentions and ask the universe, God or your higher power for support and guidance. Create a vision board, journal about your goals… put it out there.
Lastly, prioritize what’s really important.
Once you’ve placed your order with the universe, use this clarity to set some real priorities. What is important for you to do in order to pave the way for these things to manifest in your life? How can you do this without burning yourself out?
Remember that self care is ALWAYS a top priority. Without taking the time to nurture your body, mind and soul, you’re setting yourself up for burnout! Keep yourself fueled so that when the universe delivers your amazing opportunities, you’re ready and able to see them!
Take Action Now!
In what ways are you pushing too hard and wearing yourself down?
Please share your thoughts, insights and “aha” moments in the comments section below!
Let’s connect! :)
I Highly Recommend…
