How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself in Order to Create the Life that You WANT

When you’re feeling like your life is off track or that you’ve lost sight of who you really are, it can be tough to know where to begin. It can also feel like no matter what you do or try, that you’re always sabotaging yourself or constantly ending up at square one, with no progress to show.

You’re not incapable of making changes, you’re just missing an important piece of the puzzle.

Why you can’t get to where you WANT to be…

This is something I learned from the fabulous Bryan Franklin at Rich Happy Hot Live last year. Brian’s talk was focused around the ecology of self sabotage.

In short, our ecology is the environment supporting our life and is made up of our community, stories about our life and our relationships. Our willpower (the strength to ACT) gets us to where we are now. Because of our ecology, when we attempt to move forward from where we are now to where we want to be… we experience the rubber band effect of constantly snapping back to the now and we assume that we are sabotaging ourselves. In reality, our ecology simply doesn’t support where we WANT to be.

This is awesome news. Why? Because you can change your ecology.

How to create an ecology that supports what you want:

1) Start by creating an ecology that supports the NOW.

You MUST BEGIN by creating an ecology that supports the NOW. When your life now becomes sustainable, supported by those around you and easily maintained without much willpower on your end, you then have the ability to take the next step forward toward where you want to be.

Ask yourself, how do I make NOW sustainable? How can I love and approve of where I’m at? And more importantly, how do I do this in a way that builds the supporting framework for where I want to be?

2) Be mindful of areas that are out of alignment.

If your current life is feeling off course, there’s a good chance that you’re surrounded by people, environments and belief systems that don’t support the life you want to lead. For example, if you’re a lawyer working in a large downtown firm, yet you long to start a small vegan cupcake shop… you’re not likely surrounded by the people who will support, nurture and push you to follow that dream.

Be mindful of these areas and begin to brainstorm ways you can create the needed support. Could you start attending baking classes to meet other like minded individuals? Could you join an entrepreneur mastermind group that provides inspiration, knowledge and collaboration?

3) Start dating yourself!

If your soul longs for more creativity, exciting experiences or a certain passion, slowly infuse more of it into your life by dating yourself. If music is your long forgotten love, start attending free concerts and listening to live music. Buy a new album and listen to it from start to finish. Pick up an instrument and start playing around. Take a cooking class, sign up for a writing workshop, go to an event featuring your idol, listen to a talk by an expert in the field, buy a book on the subject, peruse the isles of your favorite art store…Flirt with it. Get to know it all over again and soon you’ll be alive with passion and enthusiasm, just as you desire.

4) Travel slowly, but deliberately.

You can’t take a plant that thrives year round in Hawaii, move it to Michigan and expect it to survive. That’s just not going to happen. You have to remember that while your current ecology is unsupportive of where you want to be, you can’t simply uproot your entire life and expect to thrive. You have to move slowly, but deliberately in the direction of your dreams.

So tell me, what action will you take to begin building an ecology that supports the now, while moving you in the direction of what you really want?

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Commit 100% to Yourself and Your Purpose

A few months ago the financial strain began and I refused to let it shake me. I knew in my heart that I was on the right path and that if I could muster up the strength to push through, despite the stress and chaos around me, everything would fall into place.

And boy has it ever.

I’ve always liked the concept that if you put yourself and your dreams out there, and take consistent action towards them, the universe will shift to support you. Doors will open, answers will appear and your life will become amazing through a glorious stream of synchronistic events.

There will be many small gifts of support. Gifts such as finding the perfect apartment and office space to go with it. Connecting with the right people just as you realize that you need them. Job deposits and payments that begin to arrive as if the universe is rationing them out at just the right times.

But here’s the thing…

The most important gifts are the ones that seem just out of reach. For me, it was the free ticket to an amazing event on the other side of the country – with no airfare or lodging included. This came at a time when I simply had no money for it. But I told myself I had to go and I committed to finding a way. I recognized that this was an important next step on my journey.

Consider it a test. How committed are you to yourself and your purpose? Are you willing to leave your comfort zone, accept/ask for help and do whatever it takes to make the leap to the next level? If you are, I guarantee that what you find when you get there will absolutely blow you away.

Since returning from the event in New York, amazing things have fallen into place for me, especially in the past couple weeks. After being supported in small and meaningful ways, I suddenly found myself presented with the next important step. A huge commitment that will require me to reach further and work harder than I have before. I’ll share more about this another time, but the point of this post is that you have to commit. You have to clearly state what it is that you want to achieve and you have to take action.

Most importantly, you have to stay committed. 100% committed. If you find yourself presented with an opportunity that’s just out of reach, but you know in your heart is something that you have to do, then make it happen. Do whatever it takes, because I promise you the shifts that you will see in your life as a result are far more powerful and fulfilling than the comfort of settling with where you’re at.

Have you committed 100% to your goals and purpose?
What action can you take right now to prove your commitment to success?

Be the Best, Healthiest and Happiest You™

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