Three Simple Steps to Increase Your Energy and Experience More Joy in Your Life!

You’re an energy based being, whether you’re aware of it or not. Your energy is effected by those around you, the weather, the planets and stars, noise, food and more. Everything and everyone in your life is created by and generates energy.

The most important thing to realize, is we all operate at a different frequency. We have different levels at which we can give and receive this energy. We’re unique, we’re sensitive and far too often we give away too much!

Think about it…

Have you ever been around someone who zaps the life out of you?

Have you every been completely overwhelmed by a space?

Have you ever packed your week so full that it leaves you wanting to cry?

If not then you may be a highly extroverted individual that just loves everything and everyone, all the time. That’s awesome, but this post isn’t for you. This post is for people who find themselves exhausted on a regular basis, overwhelmed by the people in their life or just plan scattered and frazzled. The people who can’t find the energy to do what they love, are constantly catering to everyone else’s needs and might even feel a little depressed or worn out by life.

If you feel these things, extroverted or introverted, you’re not honoring your energy.

How to Honor and Respect Your Energy

If you want to live a life filled with joy and passion, you have to learn how to respect and honor YOUR energy first and foremost. This is especially true if you’re introverted.

1. Know Yourself and Your Energy Cycle

We all have a cycle, men included, but especially women. There are times in your cycle that you feel energized, extroverted, social, fun and loud. These are the times you want to do everything and see everyone! Then there are also times when all you want to do is sit at home on the couch in your PJs and turn off your phone and email. You want to shut the world out.

Both ends of this spectrum are NORMAL. We all experience them, just to different degrees. It’s important to learn your cycle and begin to honor your energy patterns. If for three weeks you love to get out, socialize and experience the world, but for one week you wish you could just tuck away and not see anyone, honor that. If you’re the opposite and three weeks out of the month you like to be tucked away working on your own hobbies, but one week you love to be out on the town with your pals, honor it. If you fall somewhere in between or you have a very random and scattered pattern, HONOR IT.

There is no RIGHT cycle of energy. You don’t have to want to see people regularly or feel bad for taking time to yourself. In fact, you’re doing the people in your life a disservice by not honoring those times you don’t want to see them. If you take that space, you’ll feel more refreshed, happy and really enjoy your time together.

2. Use Your “Down and Out” Time to Recharge

Just the same as there’s no right or wrong energy cycle, there’s no right or wrong way to recharge. While you’re on the low end of your cycle, make sure to do the things that recharge and refresh you. Get a massage, watch cartoons for 7 hours straight, read a good book or just sleep. Maybe recharging your batteries is getting out and about, but by yourself or with a select person that always leaves you feeling envigorated.

Think about the things that refuel you! As you start to know and honor your cycle, you’ll be able to schedule these types of things on the days you know you’re going to need it. After a week jam packed with calls or socializing, I personally plan for a whole day of nothing. That’s right… no phone, no computer, no workouts, nothing. I literally sit on the couch all day and watch TV between naps. I follow that up with a fun day of being out and about doing things that refresh my mind and spirit. Thrift store, beach or a play date with energizing friends.

3. Cut Out Energy Drains

I don’t care if these are people, things or experiences… if it DRAINS your energy, it needs to go.

What’s the best way to tell if something or someone is an energy drain? When you begin to honor your cycle and have taken the time to recharge your batteries, something that’s draining will zap ALL that out almost instantly. If you come back from a two week vacation and are immediately stressed out, frustrated or exhausted by your job, it’s an energy drain. If you go out for a fun girl’s night only to feel upset or overwhelmed when you come home to your boyfriend, he’s an energy drain.

Sometimes these energy drains aren’t things we can just cut out right this instance, but once you acknowledge what they are, take responsibility and adjust the situation. Look for a better job, leave the relationship or try to find ways to improve the situation so that it’s no longer draining you.

Also, anyone that doesn’t honor and respect your energy cycle alongside you is an energy drain. People who push and pull you into situations despite you letting them know you need something else are not people who care about your needs and well-being.

Take Action Now!

I want you to begin tracking the following three things:

1. How social/extroverted/introverted am I feeling?
2. What is my energy level on a scale of 1 – 10?
3. What is my mood?

Ladies, track that menstrual cycle as well for even better results. EVERY day, I want you to quickly jot down your answers to these three questions. Get some fun stickers and use colored markers or highlighters so that you can easily see patterns at a glance. Really look to see what your cycle looks like and begin to plan accordingly!

BONUS! Click to download a free Energy Cycle Tracking Calendar PDF!

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What To Do When Your Skills Don’t Align With Your Passion

skill (noun):
1. The ability to do something well; expertise.
2. A particular ability.

So many of us get extremely caught up in doing the things we’re good at. Maybe it’s a trade we learned from our parents growing up… maybe it’s what we were directed to go to college for and we have a degree plus years of experience under our belt.

Regardless, it’s not our passion.
This realization can cause a lot of confusion and heartache.

But I spent ___ years and thousands of dollars going to school for this.

This is the only way I know how to make money.

The thing I love to do can’t be a REAL career.

Everyone says I’m so great at this, I would be a fool to change paths.

Here’s the truth about “what you do best”:
You were given these strengths and skill sets as TOOLS, not necessarily to build your life around.

I’m a prime example of this… my skills, experience and “expertise” are in design and branding. I went to school for it, worked at many firms and agencies, even built a business of my own around it! But it’s not my PASSION. My passion is personal responsibility and I’m driven by the desire to make a positive impact in the lives of others.

I tried to find a logical way to incorporate the two… only work with non-profits or companies that try to make a difference, but the fact of the matter is, I was just NOT passionate about design on it’s own. It’s a talent, one that I wasn’t entirely sure why I had, until I realized it was a tool to do far greater work in the world… and NOT necessarily in an obvious way.

Yes, I have the ability to create a beautiful and strong brand for everything I do… but my experience with branding also allows me to help people define their why, values and vision for life, then help them ensure all life areas are consistent with this vision. I’m able to see where people are out of alignment with what they claim to believe and desire in their life.

Let’s look at how you can do this with your life…

How to Connect Your Passion and Skills

1. Make a Transferable Skills List

The first step towards building a life around your passion, while incorporating your skills and strengths, is to take a look at how they integrate with one another. At first it can be incredibly difficult to make a connection… take my story as an example. How on earth does graphic design and personal development work together?

Start by making a list of all the skills that you’ve developed or honed as a result of your education, training and experience. Think of as MANY as possible. In my case, not only did I have all the skills and experience of design, I learned a TON about running a business, bookkeeping, customer service, working with vendors, pitching, sales, printing and so much more. I gained the tools necessary to build a SOLID business doing what I love and a different perspective on how to teach it to my audience. Additionally, my personal experience in building a life I didn’t love drives the work that I do for others.

Once you have your list, take a look and see what’s transferable to your passion. What skills can you use to build a career, business or life around what you REALLY love? Get creative, sometimes the answer is not always obvious or conventional.

2. Reframe Your Situation

Many times you may experience feelings of guilt or shame around the fact that you went to school, trained or spent years of your life following your skills, not your passion. Before you can move forward with what you love, you have to release those feelings and reframe the situation.

First of all, you would not have ended up doing whatever you’ve been doing without those natural skills and talents… there is a reason you spent time in the field you did and not another. Even if you were shoved into a profession that felt completely out of your skill set, you likely landed in a position that was fitting on some level.

Instead of viewing this as wasted time, work to see it as time spent honing your skills and talents in a different way. Having a unique perspective on how to do things will prove to be invaluable as you pursue your passion. No matter what you’ve been doing, it WILL serve you as you in the years to come. Look to positively reframe your situation constantly. There’s no sense wasting time in that negative space!

3. Dabble in Your Delights

Don’t think that because you spent years as a lawyer you can’t “waste time” painting. Or that you have no business building a life around working with kids when all you’ve done for the past decade of your life is crunch numbers and push papers.

You’re drawn to what you’re drawn to for a reason… don’t over think it! DO WHAT YOU LOVE. Do what you deeply desire to do. The things that light you up, fascinate you and feels right. Feelings should always win out over thoughts.

If you feel like you want to paint and be an artist… paint and be an artist. Don’t worry about the thoughts that tell you it’s silly, childish, random or a waste of time. Don’t THINK that you should be focusing on that big promotion when you don’t LOVE what you do. Put energy into what you love to do, not what you do because you can.

Take Action Now

Share with me at least one skill that you’ve honed doing whatever it is that you do that could be utilized if you follow your passion. If you’re not sure what you’re really passionate about yet, share with me one thing that you desire to do and how you plan to start incorporating it into your life THIS WEEK.

Pssst! If you’re ready to dig deep and take an honest look at your life, discover what you REALLY want and make an easy-to-implement action plan to make it happen FAST, then my digital program Foundations for Unshakable Joy is for you!

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Guess What? You’re Not Supposed to Have it All Figured Out by Now!

Do you ever feel like you should be more experienced, further along or more on top of things in your life? That you should have an amazing career, the perfect husband and a clear sense of who you are and where you’re supposed to be? Worse, that you should already be there by now?

It’s time for a reality check.

You can only be who you are right now, in this moment, EXACTLY where you’re at. There’s nothing more to know. If you’re feeling discontent, stressed out or depressed, it’s not because you should be or have something other than what you have right now. It’s because you’re beating yourself up about what you’re lacking, rather than focusing on CREATING joy, fulfillment, passion and purpose in your life.

The truth about having it all figured out:

Where you thought you were “supposed to be by now” is irrelevant.

It was crafted by a younger, less experienced and not-here-right-now version of yourself. The only thing you’re supposed to have is this moment with whoever is here, wherever you are, as the person you are TODAY. How could you possibly have known what you “should” know today?

You had no idea what experiences, opportunities and personal transformations you would go through and how they would effect what you want in life. Feeling like you should be somewhere by now, when you’re clearly not “there,” should only tell you that maybe it’s NOT where you’re supposed to be.

When you’re on the right path, synchronicity is heightened and things feel easy. If you don’t feel that, chances are you’ve ventured down the wrong path and lost sight of what you REALLY want. Getting off course and feeling like you should be somewhere are clear signs that you’ve been working towards a life that is heavily influence by what others or society expect of you.

There will never be a point where you’ll have it all figured out. Ever.

Your life, personality, spirituality, knowledge and relationships are ALWAYS changing. You’re going to learn new things, discover new passions, meet new people and travel to new places… again and again, for the rest of your life. It’s impossible to ever have EVERYTHING figured out and there’s certainly no date by which you should. Stop putting pressure on yourself to get somewhere you can never reach.

Life is a learning process! Relationships, jobs, struggles, successes and everything in between are opportunities for spiritual growth. They give you a new perspective, tools or insights into who you really are and what you deeply desire. Everything and everyone around us is on this same journey, which makes it completely impossible to ever truly “figure it all out.”

The only thing that matters is who you are and what you desire RIGHT NOW.

It’s about incorporating more of what lights you up and less of what brings you down. What brings you JOY? What is your passion? Where do you find fulfillment, belly laughs and inspiration?

Unshakable joy, fulfillment and passion are produced by staying focused on what you really desire in your life right now. It also comes from knowing that “right now” is in constant flux. Regularly checking in with yourself is essential.

Take action now!

I want you to make a list of all the things you feel you should have, know or be by now. Take some time to consider where these beliefs came from. Your parents? Society? Internal expectations that stress you out always have an external source. Try to identify them.

Next, determine what’s really important to YOU. Use the following questions:

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Three Things You MUST DO to Feel Joyful

Things that continue to surface when you think about living your best life, being happier, more fulfilled and joyful, those are the things you MUST BE DOING because your spirit is calling for them.

If you’re constantly saying you wish you painted more, wrote poetry or short stories, started meditating, drank more green juice or got to be outdoors more… then you need to prioritize these things. When we see something we connect with on a deep level, we know it. We’re drawn to it in a way we can’t explain. We long for it.

Those that need to paint, are captivated by other people’s artwork, pour over art supply catalogs, long to buy and begin expressing themselves on canvas.

Those that need to meditate are constantly saying they should meditate. They wish that there was time in their day, extra money to attend a retreat or that they had access to a wellness center in their community for guided sessions.

Those that need to be outside are always staring out the window longingly, imagining themselves on a trail or beach and antsy from lack of movement and fresh air.

Whether or not you realize it, you KNOW what things you need in your life to feel joy. To live fully expressed, stress free and make YOUR contribution.

Here Are Three Things You MUST DO to Feel Joyful

1) Determine what things you’re drawn to.

When you envision yourself feeling happy and joyful, where are you? Who are you with? What are you doing? What makes the experience a happy one?

If you struggle with these questions, think about the last time you felt truly alive and happy. What were you doing? Was it back in high school, maybe college? Was it a specific class centered around a forgotten passion? Were you being expressive, using your hands, playing, learning or connecting?

Who’s life do you feel jealous of? The woman that runs her own business? The mom down the street with an adorable newborn? The musician that plays at the local coffee shop? Ask yourself what it is about their life you’re drawn to and WHY.

2) Eliminate your excuses.

We all have our reasons why we feel we can’t make time for these things. How are you supposed to take up painting when you’re exhausted by your crappy job? You have bills to pay, there’s no way that you can travel and see the world. Or maybe you’re with someone that would never support this thing you desire to do. Stop making excuses and start looking for solutions!

If you set aside just 30 – 60 minutes each day to paint SOMETHING, before you know it, you would have a finished piece. You would have discovered your style, improved tremendously in your technique and had a lot of fun.

If you stopped buying Starbucks every day, cut back on your expenses and watched travel deals like a hawk, I’m positive that you would find the perfect opportunity (WITHIN your means) to travel and start seeing the world.

If you ditched that person that doesn’t support you (because, hello, that’s NOT LOVE), then you would be left with no excuse not to do the things you want to do.

There is ALWAYS a way! It may not be exactly how you picture it in your head, but if you just START, you’ll get there. Make as much time as you can. If it’s only 5 minutes a day, AWESOME. Just do it. Start RIGHT NOW and before you know it, you’ll be living a life that’s infused with your passions, leaving you joyful and satisfied.

3) Start a daily practice.

Carrying on from the last step, you must have a regular, daily practice. If writing brings you joy, helps you feel centered, and allows you to be focused, then it’s necessary for success in ALL areas of your life.

If painting makes you feel happy and alive, allows you to eliminate stress in your body, keeps your mood from diving into depression, and adds color to your world, YOU HAVE to make the time to regularly put brush to canvas.

We often overlook these essential activities in our lives because they seem frivolous. If you have time to paint, you probably have time to do something “more productive.” But if you don’t make the time to do something that LIGHTS YOU UP, you will be stressed out, off balance and far less productive on a long-term basis than if you just took 5 minutes to yourself each day.

If your life feels overwhelming, start small. Free write for 5 minutes each day. Paint something, ANYTHING, for 15 minutes every day. Jog once around the block every morning. Bake something one day each week.

Before you know it, you’ll feel the benefits of these little spurts and will find yourself giving more and more time to the things that you love. This is GOOD. The more time you’re able to give to these things, the happier you’ll feel. You’ll be more productive, more loving, stress free and fulfilled in your life.

Find five minutes in your day and make it a priority.

And remember, go with the flow!

You may start out focused on writing every day, but if (and when) you find yourself drawn to something new and unexpected, just go with the flow. Your spirit is initially drawn to what it needs to thrive so it can carry you on the path you’re meant to take. Honor that and just go with it!

Take Action Now!

In the comments section below, tell me at least one thing you feel drawn to. Next, tell me one commitment you will make to incorporate this into your life TODAY.

Need help finding what lights you up? If you want to experience unshakable joy, passion and fulfillment in your life, then you need to be on my mailing list NOW. February 7th marks the release of my new program, Foundations for Unshakable Joy™, and there will be some pretty sweet early-bird offers for my list. Subscribe below!

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What is Confidence, REALLY?

Do you ever wonder what it is about some people that makes them so confident? So completely comfortable in their skin and radiating such positive, charismatic energy? I used to wonder this too. And then I learned that confidence really comes down to one INCREDIBLY SIMPLE thing.

Owning it.

When you’re “owning it,” it means that you’re totally and completely at peace with WHO YOU ARE in every moment, interaction and experience. You make no apologies for being awkward, nervous, excited, loud, soft spoken or other… you’re just you.

You radiate charismatic energy whether or not you have an extroverted personality because you are genuinely CONTENT with yourself and your present experience.

I know, I know… this is easier said than done. But today I’m going to share with you some simple tips, tricks and adjustments you can make to appear (more importantly FEEL) confident no matter what.

How to own it and be totally confident, all of the time.

1) Get out of your head!

When you stop engaging in the present moment and begin to THINK about how you look, sound, feel, smell, etc. you’re creating an immediate disconnect. Whether you’re disconnecting from a conversation or general experience, the effect is the same: you immediately lose confidence.

This loss of confidence creates an energetic wave that is felt by EVERYONE in the same room, interacting with you or listening to you speak.

It took me some time to understand this concept myself, but it’s amazing how someone else’s perception of, and connection to you can change the instant that you disengage with the present moment and go into your head. It makes it harder for them to connect to your message or to you, leaving them uncertain and uninterested.

The trick to living in the present moment is CONSTANT practice. When you catch yourself engaging in a viscous thought cycle rather than the present moment (or the person you’re with), use your senses to gently guide you back. Speak, take in the smells, notice the textures that you can feel.

People that appear totally cool and collected, they are 100% engaged in the present moment.

2) Own it. Whatever “it” is.

The second way to create instant and unshakable confidence is to totally OWN it. Whether it’s your opinions, emotions, feelings, words or choice of dessert, just own it. Don’t give a single thought to what anyone else would think of what you’re doing.

You’re you, you want what you want and you do what you do.

No apologies. No explanation. Just own it.

This concept is easy to grasp in terms of ordering whatever you want off the menu or picking a movie, but what about your feelings, emotions and experiences?

For the longest time I struggled to own my personality, my view of the world, my way of thinking and my feelings. Not only did I lack confidence, I was stressed, uncomfortable and completely miserable trying to “fit in” with the rest of the world.

I can tell you from experience, it’s a waste of precious time and energy.

If you’re feeling sad or moody, just own it. Be sad, be moody. Are you nervous as hell? OWN IT. Tell everyone that you’re nervous as hell! It stops the process of entering your head dead in it’s tracks.

Before I was practicing the art of owning it, I used to get EXTREMELY nervous going to networking events, especially the ones where you have to introduce yourself! There were so many times that I was so lost in my head and fighting my feelings that when I sat back down after introducing myself, I honestly couldn’t remember if I said my name right. So instead of pretending that I was anything less than I was in that moment, I just told people, “I’m not very good at this ‘speaking in front of people thing’ so just bare with me!”

You know what I got? Smiles, applause and REAL CONNECTION to everyone in the room instead of the typical glazed over stares and uninterested faces. I showed them I was a real person the second that I chose to own my feelings. Being totally okay with whatever emotions, sensations or feelings you’re experiencing in ANY given moment results in the appearance of TOTAL confidence.

It also allows you to out your feelings which weakens their power over you and allows you to just “party with them” as my mentor Josh Pais says.

Ever heard someone do what I just described? Say that they’re nervous and not good at public speaking, yet they make it look so easy that you think they’re lying? They’re owning it, and THAT is what gives them the confidence that you see.

3) Just. Be. You.

This is similar to the last step, but hear me out. When you honor who you really are, you will do things like wear the clothes that you really love… this in turn makes you feel COMFORTABLE, and that produces confidence.

Have you ever dressed up in a fancy suit or some clothes that aren’t your normal style? Did you feel uncomfortable the entire time? I bet you did. That triggers your mind to run wild with thoughts that do nothing but zap your confidence and make you feel like crap.

By honoring who you are and what you truly prefer in life, you’re creating an environment for confidence. You’re allowing yourself to be comfortable and express yourself. In turn, you ATTRACT the right people, opportunities and more into your life. When the right people and opportunities come along, you feel CONFIDENT because things are EASY. They work for you and your personality.

Don’t ever pretend to be someone or something you’re not! Just be you. You are amazing. You are unique. You will be so much happier and more confident when you just settle into who you are.

Take Action Now!

Leave a comment below letting me know the last time you felt totally comfortable and confident. What were you doing? Who were you with? Can you identify any of these steps at play? I would love to hear your own personal experiences with confidence (or lack thereof)!

Pssst! Need an instant confidence boost? How about getting clear on exactly what you want out of life and creating an easy-to-implement action plan, based on YOUR life, preferences and needs, to make it happen FAST? My program, Foundations for Unshakable Joy, is launching on February 7th and will give you all that and SO MUCH MORE!

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