How to Attract the Right People into Your Life (Hint: This Requires ZERO Effort!)
There was a time in my life when I was hanging out with all the wrong people.
Let me be clear, they were awesome individuals, they just weren’t MY crowd. They didn’t get me, they liked to do all the things I really didn’t care to do and they talked about things I had no interest in.
Hanging around with them made me feel drained, depressed and lonely.
Lonely because I couldn’t make a connection with them around subjects that had meaning to me… Drained because I had to BE SOMEONE ELSE to fit in with who they were and what they wanted to do… Depressed because, well, it sucks to feel like you don’t fit in or like people just don’t GET you.
Am I right?
So how do you attract the RIGHT People into your life?
Are you ready for this? Because it’s some seriously powerful stuff… BE YOURSELF.
100% of the time and 100% REAL.
If you think that you’re being real, but you’re still finding the wrong people showing up in your life, then you need to take a moment to reassess your YOU-ness. If the wrong people are showing up, I’m positive that on some level, you’re putting out an inauthentic version of yourself.
Do you bite your tongue and smile when talking to some people? Do you neglect to mention the things that you really LOVE for fear that you’ll be judged or criticized — or just to fit in? Do you smile and nod when you really want to give someone a piece of your mind? Do you dress differently for different people? Do you have a work mode, friends mode and family mode?
Yes to some, yes to all? These are just a few examples of where an inauthentic version of you may be making an appearance and creating opportunities for the wrong people to settle into your life.
Yes, I know it’s scary to put yourself out there…
And why is this? Because the likelihood of turning people off is far greater and the chance that you’ll alienate someone is completely unavoidable. That’s scary, especially if you’re someone who feels like you need everyone to like you. But the thing is…
By being true to yourself, you will automatically
deter those people who don’t belong in your life.
The people that you offend or alienate, are not YOUR people. They’re not the people that will love and appreciate the uniquely beautiful person that you are. They’re not the people who will support you, understand you, cheer you on and hold your hand when times are tough.
The really awesome side to deterring the wrong people from your life is that you’re creating SPACE for the RIGHT people to show up. There’s no room for the amazingly supportive BFF to show up if you’re wasting time with the wrong crowd. There’s no space for the RIGHT guy to show up if you’re spending too much time trying to impress Joe-Schmo who’s going to ditch you anyways when you finally reveal you’re true self. Better yet, it leads to deeper and more meaningful relationships.
Start being true to you TODAY.
Order the meal that you really want, talk about the things that light you up, wear the clothes that you feel most comfortable in and speak your truth. Start small and be prepared to let the wrong people fall out of your life. Remember, you’re simply creating an enjoyable life of authenticity that will magnetize the RIGHT people with zero effort.
What areas of your life are you attracting the wrong people? In what ways are you being inauthentic? Let me know in the comments section below, I would love to hear your insights!
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Align Your Life Purpose with Your Business for Greater Impact, Profits and Fulfillment.
I believe in the power of branding on both a personal and professional level. When your life purpose and business focus are aligned, you can create an incredibly high-impact brand that changes the lives of others while bringing you unbelievable levels of fulfillment and happiness.
Sure, you can do good work in a business that isn’t perfectly aligned… but you’re always going to feel like something is missing. You’ll feel drained at the end of the day and you’ll find yourself on a roller coaster of ups and downs, with the downs becoming more prominent. You won’t feel motivated and you won’t feel fulfilled.
When you’re in alignment, not only will you begin to produce GREAT work, but you will find yourself buzzing with raw inspiration and energy around the clock! You will LOVE your clients, marketing your business, creating content and you’ll LOVE diving into each and EVERY work day. Monday will lose all meaning and you’ll find it hard to shut down and not work all day and all night.
How to determine your purpose in life.
1) Get Clear on Your Personal Values
Our personal values clearly define what we consider to be important, meaningful and essential in our lives. If you value integrity, then you don’t believe in telling a lie of any size, you never disregard the law and you believe in being a fair, honorable person. If you value innovation, then you believe in thinking outside of the box, constantly pushing limits and high-level, creative thinking.
You need to be 100% clear on your personal values if you’re going to discover your purpose and successfully align it with your business.
Action Step ›› List out all of the words you feel best represent your personal values. Narrow down this list to 3 – 5 values that are absolutely indisputable and are, in your eyes, essential to the way you live your daily life. Some example words include integrity, timeliness, compassion, creativity, innovation, community, respect, honor, service, etc.
2) Listen to Your Inner Voice
While it does take practice, learning to listen to your inner voice and truth is not impossible. In my experience, your inner voice will speak to you about your purpose or passions in what I like to call simple truths. Simple truths are simple statements that pop into your head over and over, to which you don’t respond with rejection, disbelief or even acknowledgment.
Simple truths will start out as passing thoughts that will make you pause. The longer you ignore these truths, the more frequent they will become! They will begin to tug at your heart and cause you a great deal of distraction as they turn from small to LOUD and nagging.
If you want to find your true purpose in life, you have to learn to listen to those simple truths.
Action Step ›› Make note of the simple truths that have been popping into your head for some time. Remember that these will be things you don’t necessarily argue against or believe at the time they occur. The ones that pull at your heart are usually the most telling.
3) Get REAL and be HONEST!
For just a moment, stop worrying about what everyone else expects of you, what you think you should be doing or what makes the most sense. What do you really, REALLY want to do with your life? What do you feel CALLED to create in the world? When you envision your ideal life, what are you doing? Where are you and who are you with?
This isn’t as easy as it sounds… You may find that your answer continues to change the more you think about it. And that’s AWESOME because the more times you attempt to truthfully answer this question, the closer you’re getting to discovering your true purpose in life.
If the answer to this question doesn’t make every single cell in your body burst with excitement, emotion or intense flutters of fear and KNOWING, then you’re not there yet. And if you don’t REALLY know what it means to feel those things in every single cell of your body, then you most definitely aren’t there yet. Because when you know, YOU KNOW.
Action Step ›› Answer the question, “What do you really, REALLY want to do with your life?” until every cell in your body screams in excitement or you burst into tears of joy and relief (or fear :D). Go. And don’t wimp out on this one, it’s the most important part.
Leave a comment below and share your thoughts on this post!
What defines you?
There are so many times that I see people defining their worth as a person based on the things that they own or the titles they hold.
Where you grew up, being a top player in your sport, wearing the latest fashion trend in a size 6, lifting the heaviest weights or having a stylish haircut… these things, and things like them, do not define you. What defines you is who you are and what you stand for.
I used to make a lot of money and have fancy titles such as “Senior Graphic Designer” at established design firms. I drove a brand new car and lived in a new townhouse on the outskirts of Denver. Presently, I do not make very much money and I live in an area which some consider to be the “armpit” of Oahu. But who I am and what I stand for today is far more substantial and meaningful than anything I ever have (or had) before. And even better, I feel far more fulfilled.
There’s nothing wrong with titles or material items as a part of your image, but if you don’t back those with a life of substance, you’re nothing more than a hollow shell. If you remove those things as a part of your self definition, what’s left? You have to be able to define yourself as a person whether you’re a high-level something at a top-place-of-business, a stay at home mom or someone who’s been laid off and has to change careers. Whether you’re a Porsche owner or drive a Geo. Whether you buy from designer labels or from outlets and garage sales. Who are you as a person? What do you believe in and what do you stand for?
For myself, if you remove the car I drive, the place I live or the titles I hold, I will still be a person driven by my passion to make a positive impact in this world. I am not defined by my skills, titles or intelligence, I am defined by what I do with those tools and how I serve the world.
What defines you?
Be the Best, Healthiest and Happiest You™
Personal Branding: Consistency is Key
Having a solid personal brand has a lot to do with knowing where you’re coming from in life.
Not what part of the country you’re from, how you were raised or where you went to college. The place “where you come from” has more to do with what you value and believe as well as your mission in life and what you wish to achieve. Really understanding those things will help you act from of a place of certainty and direction in all facets of your life.
Having a natural knack for noticing inconsistencies, I feel constantly aware of how often people contradict themselves. You’ll run a red arrow but not make an illegal U-Turn. You stress working out and eating clean, yet you smoke cigarettes every day. You attend church on a regular basis, yet you download illegally and burn copies of things you didn’t pay for. Do you see where I’m going with this? You pick and choose when to be consistent with what you claim to be your own values.
The personal brand that I am currently working to build for myself is one that follows the mantra of “be the best, healthiest and happiest you™.” As I’ve said before, to me this means that I am as green as I can possibly be, I am positively contributing to others and the world through everything that I do, I am healthy and fit both mentally and physically and I am working to live true to my mission statement.
When I made the decision that this would be my personal brand, I discovered a lot of projects and life practices that were inconsistent with the message I wished to send. This disheartened me a bit because they are things that I love… things that include a classic car that probably doesn’t get more than 15 mpg (though once it did get in the 20s on a road trip), an arts and craft project that was being made from non-recycled materials and really just creating more junk in the world, a business that simply focused on using design as a means to make money and a project dear to my heart (soon to be announced!) that I couldn’t really figure out how it fit within my mission.
I’m happy to report that I’ve since discovered ways that not only allow me to keep these things as a part of my life and my personal brand, but I am more excited about them than I was before! I want to share these in the near future as examples of what I intend to do as I grow my brand. My goal with this is to help others realize that you can keep doing what you’re doing in life while, with a few tweaks, making it consistent with being the best, healthiest and happiest person that you can possibly be.
Do you know where you’re coming from in life?
Can you admit to an area that you’re inconsistent in?
Be the Best, Healthiest and Happiest You™
Let’s connect! :)
