How to Get the Most Out of Your Life Through the Principles of PLEASURE (Ooooh, yeah)!
While at Rich Happy and Hot Live in New York, I had the *pleasure* of being introduced to the magical Mama Gena. I’d heard of Mama Gena before. In fact, I’d even downloaded a copy of her book, Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts, to my Kindle the week before… but I had no idea what I was in for!
Mama Gena entered the room on the shoulders of two, what I assumed to be, male models. They carried her right up to the stage, did a little sexy dance and each gave her a juicy kiss before she introduced herself (after putting on some more lip gloss, of course). Pretty awesome entrance, right?
{ Photo Credit }
Mama Gena exudes a level of confidence in her femininity that I have never experienced before. She has trained women of all ages to “use the power of pleasure to have their way with the world.”
Pleasure sounds naughty, doesn’t it?
When you take a look at the lives that we lead today, filled with deadlines, pressure, stress, competition and technology, it’s no wonder that pleasure sounds like something taboo. Something you only “do” behind closed doors… when everything else has been handled.
Pleasure is about choosing to infuse all aspects of your life with fun, owning your beauty and sensuality as a woman, reinventing yourself, flirting, being playful and inviting abundance into your life!
Mama Gena’s entrance at Rich Happy and Hot Live is a perfect example of these principles. Instead of just walking on stage when cued, giving a little wave to the crowd and then diving into her presentation, she made a party out of it! She was CARRIED IN on the shoulders of two men… danced her heart out and looked like she had waaaaay more fun than any other speaker!
You want to live an extraordinary life? It’s as simple as putting these principles into action.
Three Ways to Infuse Your Life With Pleasure
1. Turn every outing into a special occassion.
Dress up, put on some lipstick and do your hair. I don’t care if you’re running some errands or heading out on a date, make it special! Dress your best so that YOU feel amazing. It’s especially important to do this when you’re feeling frumpy or depressed. Going all out and getting dolled up can instantly elevate your mood. You’ll feel and look amazing and that energy will enhance whatever it is that you’re doing.
2. “Love the F* out of yourself during these brief days on the planet.”
A quote straight from the queen of pleasure herself. Life is short! We all know this, yet we still choose to ignore it. You don’t always get a second chance and things really do change in an instant. Make the most out of your days and LOVE THE F* OUT OF YOURSELF! Treat yourself like the amazing, loveable, deserving beauty that you are. You DESERVE IT. You deserve that massage…the hot bubble bath at the end of EACH work day, that dark chocolate and glass of wine. You deserve time off to read, or maybe work on that neglected hobby of yours. You deserve to eat dinner on the good plates every night in your best dress with your favorite music playing over candlelight.
Can you imagine? Living each day doing the things that you enjoy most? The things that you desire and crave, yet constantly withhold from yourself? There doesn’t need to be an occassion (see #1) other than you just WANT TO.
3. Make every moment as joyful as you can.
Instead of looking at your commute to work with dread, look at it as YOUR time! Can you get a book on tape that you’ve been dying to devour? What about savoring some dark chocolate delight on the way home, listening to your favorite songs and some lavendar aromatherapy? Sound silly? Of course it does, because none of us take the time to CREATE that level of joy in our lives. We expect that most things will be painful and so many moments in our daily lives are wasted on stress and frustration.
It doesn’t have to be this way! An extraordinary, joyful life is within your control!
Take Action NOW!
I want you to list out all of the painful moments in your life. Is it your commute? Workouts at the gym? Sitting at your cubicle? Once you have a list of those moments, brainstorm three ways you could make each moment more pleasurable! Share your ideas in the comments below, or let me know where you’re struggling so I can help!
Slow Your Roll (The Power of Stepping Back)
Before my mastermind retreat a couple weeks ago I was feeling very tired.
Physically exhausted, mentally drained and tired of pushing, almost desperately, towards some personal and professional goals. I’d hit a real wall and there had been little to no synchonistic events in my life causing everything to suddenly seem impossible. Ever been there?
So what happened?
When you’re pushing way too hard, you’re bound to hit this wall. The urgency of getting somewhere RIGHT NOW will leave you stressed, drained and frustrated. Being in this sort of mental state leaves you tired and majorly unproductive, only further fueling the cycle.
Even worse, you’re essentially telling the universe that you don’t trust it to support you, manifest your desires and bring the appropriate opportunities your way.
You stop the flow, putting more pressure on yourself.
You Have to Slow Down to Reignite the Flow
When I realized what was happening, I made a conscious decision to take a step back. I stopped pushing so hard, put my focus on a few priorities and RELAXED.
Amazing things happened.
An awesome new friend and supporter appeared in my life. Not only is she someone I’d been searching for on a personal level, but she came along with something that I needed. Something I’d been pushing hard to find, only to come up empty handed again and again. This something had become an enormous block for me professionally, and she offered it up with a loving smile and generous heart.
Additionally, I’ve been absolutely bursting at the seams with inspiration and clarity. I’ve found a massively productive groove, fine tuned my self care and work routines and am feeling so much joy. Work has started to pick up, projects that stalled out are moving forward and my goals feel possible again.
How to Reignite the Flow in YOUR Life
First, get honest with yourself.
Are you pushing too hard? Burning yourself out? Frantically trying to make something happen RIGHT THIS MINUTE? Are you stressed? Depressed? Physically and emotionally exhausted?
The first step is acknowledging the pattern. Do this with zero judgment. Simply recognize how you may be pushing too hard and the ways in which it’s effecting your life.
Second, SLOW. DOWN.
Take a step back and stop pushing so hard. I promise this will not make you any less productive than you will be if you keep pushing like you are. If you don’t take some time to relax and trust in the universe, you’re going to run yourself straight into the ground, without accomplishing a single thing.
Take a hot bath, go to the park, play with your cat… call up your mom AND best friend. Order your favorite take out and pop in your favorite movie. Rest, relax, recover. The universe has your back and will be making moves in your favor while you’re taking this time out for yourself.
Third, clearly state your intentions.
Why are you pushing so hard? What is it that you want to create and what do you need to show up in your life to create it? Get clear about your intentions and ask the universe, God or your higher power for support and guidance. Create a vision board, journal about your goals… put it out there.
Lastly, prioritize what’s really important.
Once you’ve placed your order with the universe, use this clarity to set some real priorities. What is important for you to do in order to pave the way for these things to manifest in your life? How can you do this without burning yourself out?
Remember that self care is ALWAYS a top priority. Without taking the time to nurture your body, mind and soul, you’re setting yourself up for burnout! Keep yourself fueled so that when the universe delivers your amazing opportunities, you’re ready and able to see them!
Take Action Now!
In what ways are you pushing too hard and wearing yourself down?
Please share your thoughts, insights and “aha” moments in the comments section below!
4 Simple Steps for Staying Calm and Collected No Matter What Life Throws at You
I’ve always been a pretty calm individual (just ask my mom about that time I nearly totaled my older sister’s car at 13 years old). Whether it’s having my already enormous workload doubled, having to make sense of a chaotic and disorganized situation or having to call my mom and explain why the police officer wants to talk to her, I’m the type of person that actually gets calmer with more stress.
It pains me to see that this is not the case for most people out there.
If you find yourself thrown into a tailspin every time something goes wrong, feel overwhelmed by life, unable to get a handle on things or just plain frazzled and stressed to the max… you’re in luck. Staying calm, collected and SANE, no matter what happens, is something that you can easily master with time and practice (and these four handy steps).
How to Stay Calm and Collected, No Matter What.
1) Take a time out.
I know it’s not easy when shit hits the fan, your workload triples and everything seems to be falling apart around you, but you MUST. CALM. DOWN. Take a deep breath. Close your eyes and sit in silence. Count backwards from 10. Stop moving. Stop speaking frantically and jumping all over the place. Just pause. You can do it, I promise. Taking a moment to calm yourself down makes all the difference in how you’ll handle (and tackle) the situation at hand.
2) Don’t succumb to negative thought patterns!
I can’t handle this.
This always happens to me.
Everything is awful and life sucks.
You know the thought patterns because they’re your “go to” in these types of situations. If you’re automatically throwing your hands in the air when thing’s start to go awry, you’re never going to get anywhere. Things will never change. You will always be stressed and miserable.
You have to work at changing your thought patterns.
You are 100% equipped and infinitely prepared to handle EVERYTHING that shows up in your life. Why? Because you are 100% responsible for what has happened and therefore, you’re 100% capable of changing things for good. It all begins with changing your reaction.
Repeat after me, “I CAN do this because I’m capable of handling whatever life throws at me.”
3) Get back in the present moment.
Whatever the issue, in order to tackle it you need to get back in the present moment and out of your head. When you’re stuck in your head, you’re going to overthink things, listen to your negative thoughts and fail to move forward in a positive direction.
Breathe. Shut out the negativity. GET PRESENT.
Focus on the task at hand, the first step, the call you have to make or the email you have to send. Do ONE thing at a time and you will instantly eliminate overwhelm. You will also manage to tackle the task with ease and grace and, before you know it, you’ll be on to the next thing.
4) TRUST. Know that everything will be okay.
I know that can be an annoying thing to hear when you’re at your wit’s end and your life feels like it’s falling apart, but you have to trust that everything will be okay. Think about the last time everything seemed to go wrong… are you still here? Still breathing and living your life? Are you, in THIS moment, okay? Yes, you are. And no matter what happens, you will still be okay, life will continue on and things will fall into place exactly as they’re supposed to.
I want to hear from you!
Share your insights, takeaways or “aha!” moments in the comments section below.
And if you have any tips for staying calm and collected, please share them as well!
PS – This post was inspired by both someone near and dear to me struggling with some serious overwhelm and Marie Forleo’s most recent Q&A Tuesday video blog!
Please take a moment to watch her video now!
Living a Healthy, Stress Filled Life
My little cuddlebug cat Max gets easily spooked when he’s sleeping or dozing off. About a week ago, I made the mistake of snuggling with him while we were both still waking up in the morning. He of course got spooked (I probably twitched or something) and he bit my hand pretty dang hard. This resulted in a visit to the doctor a couple days later for some much needed antibiotics.
After the usual “check in” routine of weight, temperature and blood pressure, I was left to stare at the posters on the wall until the Doctor made his way to my room. For the first time in my life, I noticed the blood pressure chart that tells you what’s healthy and what’s not. Having just received an “Oh wow” after taking mine, I was suddenly aware of how GREAT my blood pressure is. And while I hadn’t previously known what the numbers meant, I do know that my numbers have been very close for the last several years (also known as some seriously stressful years of my life).
I’ve always been worried about my stress levels and the damage I might be doing to my body. But the more I thought about my numbers and my stress, the more I realized that I manage it extremely well. Here’s a breakdown of how I keep my stress levels in check, despite having plenty of reasons to have a breakdown at times!
Don’t Let Things Fester
When I’m upset or stressed out about something, I can usually only sit with it for a short period of time. MAYBE a day max, but for the most part, I can’t go but a few hours before processing and extracting it from my body in some way. Here’s how I do that:
Write in My Journal: This is almost always where I start. If I even have a hint of a nagging feeling or frustration around something, I know I need to sit down with my journal and just write. I write what comes to mind and before I know it, clarity around what’s eating at me pours out. One thing I love about morning pages and journals is that everything you write down gets resolved or dealt with in some way during your day.
Email my Bestie: My best friend is the most awesome gal in the world. Almost every morning we write each other a pretty lengthy email about the happenings in our lives… and sometimes, those emails turn into much needed vent sessions. There’s nothing like spilling your feelings, fears, stresses and frustrations to someone you can trust with every word. Someone you can also trust to give you honest feedback about your situation.
Address the Problem Head On: Sometimes people stress me out and other times it’s situations. Once I take the time to process what I’m feeling on paper or with my Bestie, I move on to addressing the problem head on. I talk to the person who is frustrating me. I deal with the project or task that’s causing me stress. I take action towards resolving the situation. I never process these things and then leave it at at that. If you don’t deal with what’s stressing you out, it’s only going to happen again and again.
Cry if You Need to Cry: Sometimes I find myself so overwhelmed with stress that I burst into tears and cry my eyes out. I cry HARD. Deep sobbing, puffy eyes and sometimes I think I might hyperventilate. Just as quickly as it starts, it’s over. And suddenly, the very thing that pushed me over the edge (along with everything else) seems totally manageable. I feel refreshed and capable of moving on with my life.
Do What’s Good for the Soul
There are some days that I’m just too stressed out and overwhelmed to focus. This only causes more stress because I have so much to do and I can’t seem to get anything done. This is when I make it a point to walk away from my to do list and whatever it is I’m working on. I do something that’s good for my soul and will recharge and refresh me so that I’m able to tackle my workload. Some of my favorite things to do include:
Sitting on the Beach: I grab my latest book, my ipod, a snack, my gear and head on down to the nearest beach for some serious sittin’ time. I give myself AT LEAST an hour of just sitting there, soaking up the sun, swimming in the ocean or reading a good book with some great tunes. I don’t check my email and I DON’T think about the work that I bailed on. Taking this kind of break will help me be more productive and efficient when I return.
Thrifting at Goodwill: When your stress is caused by money, I can’t tell you how perfect of a solution Goodwill can be. I love to pick through the clothes rack looking for that OMG-Awesome-99-cent-piece or carefully reading every title on the shelves looking for a new and exciting book to add to my ridiculous collection. I love looking at the random trinkets and junk and letting my inspiration run wild with the fun crafty things I could create! I give myself a budget depending on finances. Sometimes I say $10, most times I say $5. Sometimes I buy nothing. It’s the act of zoning out, getting inspired and just looking at different, interesting things that soothes my soul.
Fresh Air and Sunshine: Whether it’s the beach, taking a hike or just going for a walk, fresh air and sunshine can make an enormous difference on how I’m feeling. When you’re working hard, overwhelmed and out of sorts, getting out into nature is refreshing on so many levels.
Get Over It
You heard me. GET. OVER. IT. I’ve had some pretty crappy things pulled on me in my life and I don’t have one tiny ounce of resentment towards those people. I don’t hold grudges and have no ill-will towards anyone in my life. I certainly don’t always forget, but I absolutely get over it and move on with my life. I can’t tell you what a powerful feeling it is to truly get over something. To not have any of your emotions or energy invested in someone or something negative. There’s no good that can come from grudges and resentment. And besides, these things are ALWAYS in the past and that’s where your associated emotions need to stay.
Move and Nourish Your Body
On top of managing your stress, you need to take great care of your body. For every six minutes you experience a high state of negative stress it takes your immune system six hours to recover. That’s not healthy.
Get in a Great Workout: Run, lift some weights, take a walk or hike, do some yoga. When you’re stress is so high that you can feel it running through your veins, burn it off with a blood pumping workout! Personally, I love to run as it’s the only workout that “clears the stress congestion” that I feel in my chest.
Get Enough Sleep: Stress wears you down and you need to make sure that you’re giving your body the proper amount of sleep that it needs. When I’m stressed, I’ve got to have at least 9 hours of sleep. You better believe that I take it, because if I don’t, I will end up sick and really exhausted.
Eat Healthy, Nourishing Foods: I like to snack when I’m stressed… particularly on chips. Things I can crunch, crunch, crunch! But those chips leave me feeling bleh, which never makes the situation better. When I eat clean and healthy foods, I have more energy, my mood improves and I don’t feel icky on top of feeling stressed.
None of this is to say that living a high-stress life is okay, but the fact is, we all experience stress from time to time. If you’re an entrepreneur, those times can be a lot more frequent and that’s just the nature of the beast. So take some time to think about the things that nourish your soul, relieve the tension and make your body feel it’s best. More importantly, USE THOSE THINGS when you find yourself stressed or overwhelmed.
How do you deal with your stress and overwhelm?
Be the Best, Healthiest and Happiest You™
Resentment = Stop Doing It
When I was in New York, a very wise women named Danielle LaPorte spoke about resentment. She was talking about the things that weaken us, drain us, make us feel less than or not good enough, and most importantly, the things that make us feel resentful. Resentment is toxic.
Last night I found myself in a fit of resentment. I could feel it in every cell of my body and that is a very toxic space to be in. When you can feel those negative thoughts and feelings vibrating through you, you know that’s doing some serious damage to your physical and emotional well being. That’s where illness and chronic disease manifest. Your immune system weakens and your body gets some serious wear and tear. Did you know that for every six minutes you experience a high state of negative stress it takes your immune system six hours to recover?
When you find yourself in a situation or experience that fills you with resentment, you need to stop and ask yourself why. Why are you squirming with bitterness? What about the situation is really eating at you and causing your frustration? If you can really sit with your feelings and think about what triggered you, you’re going to find a reason. Maybe it’s a series of events, a situation, a person, a general attitude or tone… maybe it’s that you’re not passionate about what you’re doing or you don’t believe in it. Maybe you hate having to do things without all the details or you dislike the tasks that are required of you.
Whatever the reason, acknowledge it. Be very clear and specific about what makes you feel resentful. And stop doing it.
I realize that this is not always as simple as it sounds. Danielle suggests that you make a list of things to stop doing. Sometimes these things are easy enough… sometimes they’re not. Sometimes they’re tied to your financial stability, like a job or a client. But put things into perspective. Yes, right now, that job or client (or whatever it is for you) might be necessary and feel too important to let go. But in the long run, you’re going to severely deplete your immune system and essentially shorten your life. If that doesn’t bother you, then by all means, continue doing what you’re doing.
But it you’re like me and you recognize that you only get one body and one life that we know of… then you need to make that list and figure out a time frame for when you can stop doing those larger things. Commit to making those changes and just as with anything else, you’ll find that things really start to shift in ways that support that decision.
What is something that you feel resentful about in your life?
What are some things you need to stop doing?
Be the Best, Healthiest and Happiest You™
Let’s connect! :)
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