What the heck is purpose anyways?

To some, the word lights a fire in their belly because they truly understand what it means to live life with a purpose or calling. Others will cringe at the word… what a silly word, purpose. They doubt that everyone (including themselves) has a purpose or that things really do happen for a reason.

I believe that absolutely everything, including the awful, happens for a reason.

To enlighten us… or those we leave behind.

To force us to change our ways… a catalyst for growth.

To shape us into the people we’re meant to be… so that we can live our purpose.

You really do have a purpose, and it’s simply this:

Be you. Totally and completely. Fully expressed at ALL times.

When you’re just you, living that authentic self FULL OUT, it’s impossible to live a life off purpose. You do the things that you love and are skilled at. You spend time with the people you’re supposed to be with (because those who aren’t supposed to be in your life fall away). You travel to the places that you’re meant to be. And naturally, you begin to pursue your passions.

Ask yourself this:

If you didn’t have to please or worry about anyone else, what would you do? If money was no concern, how would you spend your time? Where would you be? With whom?

Don’t roll your eyes at these questions because you’ve heard them a million times… there’s a reason for that. It’s EYE-OPENING when you take the time to honestly look inside your heart to discover your truth.

Many times this questions is avoided out of FEAR. Fear that the life you have now isn’t the one you really want. Fear that the person you’re with, the friends or the tribe is actually steering you further from your truth. Fear that if you answer honestly, it will mean you have to DO SOMETHING about it.

Humor me… take some time with this question. Sit with it. Feel what bubbles up for you… what visions flash into your mind. Where your wildest fantasies take you. Discovering your truth requires honesty with yourself! And don’t worry, it doesn’t mean you have to throw everything away or start over.

Make an effort to simply know yourself and what you truly desire.

At a total loss?

Three simple ways to begin to discover your purpose:

1. Start following your tiny urges.

Do you really want to paint? Play guitar? Try some fancy new recipe? Have you been secretly dying to learn salsa or maybe even take a pole dancing class? Whatever your tiny little urge… indulge it. Take a class, buy the tools and try something that will begin to move you in the direction of what you REALLY want to do.

Nothing is too random, crazy or silly. If you have the urge, follow it! It will lead you into amazing new territory and allow you to get to know yourself on a deep level.

2. Be completely honest, ALL of the time.

Whether it’s with your friends, family or yourself, be totally honest about EVERYTHING. Don’t just agree with what everyone else is saying or doing. Don’t say you’ll do one thing when you really don’t want to or you’d rather do something else. Explore your truth.

Be honest with your words AND your actions… the purchases you make, clothes you chose to wear and things you decide to do. Your actions reflect your truth as strongly as your words. Begin to be honest and express that through everything you do.

Start small, but be confident in who you are and what you believe.

3. Realize you are the ONLY PERSON who knows what’s best.

Input can be phenomenal, but oftentimes we rely too heavily on our friends or family when making decisions. Before we know it, we don’t feel as if we can truly be ourselves because we’re so concerned about the approval of others. Don’t hand your power to someone else.

As much as they love you, these people’s assistance can sometimes hinder your ability to find and follow your purpose. They want only the best for you, and their actions can come from a place of protection… which is not always congruent with total support.

If you feel like something is right for you, then you need to trust your intuition!

Take action now!

Leave a comment below sharing some things you discovered about yourself when you honestly answered the questions above!

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Howard Thurman

Pssst! If you’re ready to dig deep and take an honest look at your life, discover what you REALLY want and make an easy-to-implement action plan to make it happen FAST, then my new program Foundations for Unshakable Joy is for you!

Enjoy this post and don’t want to miss another? Sign up for weekly updates below…

Do you ever feel like you should be more experienced, further along or more on top of things in your life? That you should have an amazing career, the perfect husband and a clear sense of who you are and where you’re supposed to be? Worse, that you should already be there by now?

It’s time for a reality check.

You can only be who you are right now, in this moment, EXACTLY where you’re at. There’s nothing more to know. If you’re feeling discontent, stressed out or depressed, it’s not because you should be or have something other than what you have right now. It’s because you’re beating yourself up about what you’re lacking, rather than focusing on CREATING joy, fulfillment, passion and purpose in your life.

The truth about having it all figured out:

Where you thought you were “supposed to be by now” is irrelevant.

It was crafted by a younger, less experienced and not-here-right-now version of yourself. The only thing you’re supposed to have is this moment with whoever is here, wherever you are, as the person you are TODAY. How could you possibly have known what you “should” know today?

You had no idea what experiences, opportunities and personal transformations you would go through and how they would effect what you want in life. Feeling like you should be somewhere by now, when you’re clearly not “there,” should only tell you that maybe it’s NOT where you’re supposed to be.

When you’re on the right path, synchronicity is heightened and things feel easy. If you don’t feel that, chances are you’ve ventured down the wrong path and lost sight of what you REALLY want. Getting off course and feeling like you should be somewhere are clear signs that you’ve been working towards a life that is heavily influence by what others or society expect of you.

There will never be a point where you’ll have it all figured out. Ever.

Your life, personality, spirituality, knowledge and relationships are ALWAYS changing. You’re going to learn new things, discover new passions, meet new people and travel to new places… again and again, for the rest of your life. It’s impossible to ever have EVERYTHING figured out and there’s certainly no date by which you should. Stop putting pressure on yourself to get somewhere you can never reach.

Life is a learning process! Relationships, jobs, struggles, successes and everything in between are opportunities for spiritual growth. They give you a new perspective, tools or insights into who you really are and what you deeply desire. Everything and everyone around us is on this same journey, which makes it completely impossible to ever truly “figure it all out.”

The only thing that matters is who you are and what you desire RIGHT NOW.

It’s about incorporating more of what lights you up and less of what brings you down. What brings you JOY? What is your passion? Where do you find fulfillment, belly laughs and inspiration?

Unshakable joy, fulfillment and passion are produced by staying focused on what you really desire in your life right now. It also comes from knowing that “right now” is in constant flux. Regularly checking in with yourself is essential.

Take action now!

I want you to make a list of all the things you feel you should have, know or be by now. Take some time to consider where these beliefs came from. Your parents? Society? Internal expectations that stress you out always have an external source. Try to identify them.

Next, determine what’s really important to YOU. Use the following questions:

Things that continue to surface when you think about living your best life, being happier, more fulfilled and joyful, those are the things you MUST BE DOING because your spirit is calling for them.

If you’re constantly saying you wish you painted more, wrote poetry or short stories, started meditating, drank more green juice or got to be outdoors more… then you need to prioritize these things. When we see something we connect with on a deep level, we know it. We’re drawn to it in a way we can’t explain. We long for it.

Those that need to paint, are captivated by other people’s artwork, pour over art supply catalogs, long to buy and begin expressing themselves on canvas.

Those that need to meditate are constantly saying they should meditate. They wish that there was time in their day, extra money to attend a retreat or that they had access to a wellness center in their community for guided sessions.

Those that need to be outside are always staring out the window longingly, imagining themselves on a trail or beach and antsy from lack of movement and fresh air.

Whether or not you realize it, you KNOW what things you need in your life to feel joy. To live fully expressed, stress free and make YOUR contribution.

Here Are Three Things You MUST DO to Feel Joyful

1) Determine what things you’re drawn to.

When you envision yourself feeling happy and joyful, where are you? Who are you with? What are you doing? What makes the experience a happy one?

If you struggle with these questions, think about the last time you felt truly alive and happy. What were you doing? Was it back in high school, maybe college? Was it a specific class centered around a forgotten passion? Were you being expressive, using your hands, playing, learning or connecting?

Who’s life do you feel jealous of? The woman that runs her own business? The mom down the street with an adorable newborn? The musician that plays at the local coffee shop? Ask yourself what it is about their life you’re drawn to and WHY.

2) Eliminate your excuses.

We all have our reasons why we feel we can’t make time for these things. How are you supposed to take up painting when you’re exhausted by your crappy job? You have bills to pay, there’s no way that you can travel and see the world. Or maybe you’re with someone that would never support this thing you desire to do. Stop making excuses and start looking for solutions!

If you set aside just 30 – 60 minutes each day to paint SOMETHING, before you know it, you would have a finished piece. You would have discovered your style, improved tremendously in your technique and had a lot of fun.

If you stopped buying Starbucks every day, cut back on your expenses and watched travel deals like a hawk, I’m positive that you would find the perfect opportunity (WITHIN your means) to travel and start seeing the world.

If you ditched that person that doesn’t support you (because, hello, that’s NOT LOVE), then you would be left with no excuse not to do the things you want to do.

There is ALWAYS a way! It may not be exactly how you picture it in your head, but if you just START, you’ll get there. Make as much time as you can. If it’s only 5 minutes a day, AWESOME. Just do it. Start RIGHT NOW and before you know it, you’ll be living a life that’s infused with your passions, leaving you joyful and satisfied.

3) Start a daily practice.

Carrying on from the last step, you must have a regular, daily practice. If writing brings you joy, helps you feel centered, and allows you to be focused, then it’s necessary for success in ALL areas of your life.

If painting makes you feel happy and alive, allows you to eliminate stress in your body, keeps your mood from diving into depression, and adds color to your world, YOU HAVE to make the time to regularly put brush to canvas.

We often overlook these essential activities in our lives because they seem frivolous. If you have time to paint, you probably have time to do something “more productive.” But if you don’t make the time to do something that LIGHTS YOU UP, you will be stressed out, off balance and far less productive on a long-term basis than if you just took 5 minutes to yourself each day.

If your life feels overwhelming, start small. Free write for 5 minutes each day. Paint something, ANYTHING, for 15 minutes every day. Jog once around the block every morning. Bake something one day each week.

Before you know it, you’ll feel the benefits of these little spurts and will find yourself giving more and more time to the things that you love. This is GOOD. The more time you’re able to give to these things, the happier you’ll feel. You’ll be more productive, more loving, stress free and fulfilled in your life.

Find five minutes in your day and make it a priority.

And remember, go with the flow!

You may start out focused on writing every day, but if (and when) you find yourself drawn to something new and unexpected, just go with the flow. Your spirit is initially drawn to what it needs to thrive so it can carry you on the path you’re meant to take. Honor that and just go with it!

Take Action Now!

In the comments section below, tell me at least one thing you feel drawn to. Next, tell me one commitment you will make to incorporate this into your life TODAY.

Need help finding what lights you up? If you want to experience unshakable joy, passion and fulfillment in your life, then you need to be on my mailing list NOW. February 7th marks the release of my new program, Foundations for Unshakable Joy™, and there will be some pretty sweet early-bird offers for my list. Subscribe below!

Yes, I want to experience UNSHAKABLE JOY!

I’m not talking exclusively about relationships. I’m referring to the naysayers, judgmental individuals and the people who make it their mission to BRING YOU DOWN.

The times when you’re really excited about something and someone makes an attempt to burst your bubble. The people that push your buttons, tell you you’re not good enough or try to make you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing, you’re just a screw up.

It’s not you, it’s them.

YOU are a capable, brilliant and amazing individual and that scares “them.” It makes them uncomfortable that you could potentially surpass what they’ve created in their own life. That you could create something they want, but are too afraid to realize for themselves. And if you can do it in your life, they might be expected to get off their butts and do it too, no more excuses.

They are TERRIFIED by your brilliance, but rather than use those feelings as motivation to do and be more in their own life, they work to bring you down. Why? Because it’s easier and less work.

It also makes them feel better, temporarily, to see you feel worse.

As you can see, it’s REALLY not you. It’s them.

And that’s really all you have to know.

Okay, and I wrote you these four simple steps to deal with it…

1. Identify “them.”

Sometimes these people can be subtle by saying or doing just enough to bring you down, but not enough to make it obvious. This can be partly because they don’t realize it, or because they’re doing their best to hold it back. Either way, it’s important to know who THEY are.

Whether blatantly obvious or subtle, these people are TOXIC to your life and success. They are attempting to bring you down, deflate you, drain your energy or sabotage your success.

Take a good hard look at the people in your life and get honest with yourself.

WHO leaves you feeling like less than you are? Who makes you feel like you’re not good enough, your ideas aren’t possible or like you have no idea what you’re talking about?

2. Send them light and love.

Knowing that it’s not you can help shed new light on the situation. These people have lost, abandoned or forgotten dreams… they’re stressed out, angry or depressed. No, this doesn’t give them any right to bring you down, but it does explain why they may be doing it. Or, they could just be mean.

Either way, send them light and love. Don’t build up resentments or hold grudges. Don’t try to bring them down and don’t try to pick a fight with them. Just know that there is pain or suffering that causes them to act the way they do, and that isn’t energy you want to get tangled up with.

Forgive them, wish them the best and love them, but from a distance.

3. Let it go.

I’ve said it many times, there is absolutely nothing in this world worthy of a grudge. Once you realize that these people have their own issues and that it’s not about you, you need to let it go.

Shake it off. Pound the pavement. Write in your journal. Just let it go!

If you dwell on what they say or do, you’re allowing them control over your life and emotions. Take ownership of the situation by creating an energy barrier. Nothing this person says or does to you can have any effect on your life unless you let it. So DON’T LET IT.

4. Surround yourself with love and support!

It’s so important to find people that love and support you unconditionally.

People that understand what you’re trying to create in your life and would never do a single thing to discourage you. These people are solid and secure in who they are and their own lives, and probably have a lot of great, inspiring things going for them.

When you surround yourself with passionate, positive and inspired individuals, there is no where to go but UP. These people are possibility thinkers, idea generators and LOVE to give and receive support.

For every toxic person you eliminate from your life, try to find one or two loving and supportive individuals to take their place. This may be through a networking group, meetup, educational class or mastermind.

Take Action Now!

1. Make a list of all the people in your life that leave you feeling drained, bummed out or stressed. These may be neighbors, family, “friends,” or co-workers and colleagues. The people on this list no longer get to share in your successes, day-to-day life or other… at the very least, they get limited access to you.
2. Take a moment to send loving, healing and forgiving thoughts to every single person on your list. Wish them only the best, forgive their negativity and send them positive energy.
3. Take your list and burn or trash it. Move on with your life!

Leave a comment below letting me know how many negative individuals you’ve identified in your life and one action step you’re going to take to replace them with positive people!

Are you ready to make MASSIVE positive shifts in your life? If you want to experience unshakable joy, passion and fulfillment in your life, then you need to be on my mailing list NOW. February 7th marks the release of my new program, Foundations for Unshakable Joy™, and there will be some pretty sweet early-bird offers for my list. Subscribe below!

Yes, I want to experience UNSHAKABLE JOY!

I know that you may be thinking… “no, not YOU. The one who’s always talking about a positive mindset, unshakable joy and living a life around your passion.” But it’s true.

The other night I cried my eyes out.

You see, the thing about living a life centered around joy, passion and fulfillment, is that it involves tears. It involves pain and suffering because like you, I’m human. Suffering in this life is unavoidable.

Despite living a life I LOVE, doing work that LIGHTS UP MY SOUL, I still get punched in the gut from time to time… I still feel sadness, I still feel frustration.

The difference is that I accept it into my life with open arms, because if there’s anything I’ve learned from my time on this earth is that pain, suffering and sadness truly push you to grow. They force you to be introspective, to explore your natural human emotions and to see what’s not working. To question life, the people that are in it and the work that you’re doing.

The difference between me NOW and me then? I embrace it. I welcome it. I FEEL it.

And I move on from it.

I’m a very deep and reflective person, and that makes me more susceptible to a wide range of emotions at any given time. Whether you’re willing to admit it or not, I’d venture to guess that there’s a very vulnerable and sensitive soul buried beneath the tough, strong or professional masks that you wear every day.

This front that you put out to the world… the one that says “I never cry. I’m not sensitive. I’m not emotional.” It doesn’t SERVE YOU, because you ARE sensitive and you ARE emotional… you’re human. And all humans cry.

Resisting your feelings and emotions DOES NOT serve you!

It leads to stress, sickness, disease, broken relationships, fits of rage and bouts of deep, dark depression. Anyone who’s experienced any of the above knows that these are simply no good… and when you’re in the habit of NOT DEALING, it’s near impossible to escape.

Being the emotional beings that we are, we’re prone to a wide variety of feelings. When you can learn to just accept them as what they are… a temporary experience or reaction, then you’re no longer captive to them.

You don’t get depressed. You don’t hold grudges. You don’t stuff your feelings deep down until your stomach starts bleeding and you break out in hives.

You feel them. You tend to your needs in that moment. You process. You release.

AND? You are capable of living a life of UNSHAKABLE JOY. Because when you get punched in the gut, hurt or simply feel a little off, you have the tools to bounce back (if you even fall down).

How to Accept, Deal With and RELEASE Your Emotions

Let. It. OUT.

Do not let a single thing fester, ever.

If someone is cruel to you, makes you angry, does something hurtful or crosses boundaries, let them know. Write about it in your journal. Vent to your friends and family. Scream into a pillow.

If a situation brings up emotions for you, express them. Let people know that you’re not feeling it and why. Honor yourself and your emotions. Respond accordingly.

Know the difference between expressing and dwelling.

Expressing is outing your feelings or emotions.

It’s telling the world, the people around you, or even yourself that, hey, I’m FEELING THIS RIGHT NOW. AND IT’S OKAY. It’s recognition and release in one fell swoop.

Dwelling on the other hand, that is rehashing, allowing emotions to fester, bringing up the past over and over again and happily forming a grudge. Grudges simply do not serve ANYONE. They don’t make amends for the harm done to you and they don’t make you feel anything but AWFUL. Don’t go there.

There is NOTHING in this worthy of holding a grudge or harboring negative feelings. Think about it… is there anything that someone’s done to you that’s worth giving up your life for? Getting a disease or losing everything over? No.

Stop being so prideful.

I don’t care if you’re running a successful company, have a rep for being the “coolest” one on the block or if you’re a guy, get over yourself. You’re a human being and we are all designed to feel anger, sadness and everything in between. We ALL cry and anyone who claims otherwise is either a liar or a major fester-pot of pent up emotions.

If you are sad, cry. If you are angry, scream. If you are happy, laugh.

It’s natural, it’s what you’re feeling, so be human and just go with it.

Let it GO!

In the same vein as not dwelling, you have to let these feelings pass naturally. If you feel sadness… cry. But when you’re done (and you will know that natural point at which it’s passed), stop.

Don’t encourage the emotion to linger through sad songs, depressing movies or the like. Don’t remind yourself over and over why you started crying in the first place… just let it run it’s course and pass naturally.

And you do know that point… that moment when you just finally stop crying, the anger subsides or the frustration breaks. Make the conscious choice to leave it at that or to take healthy, positive measure to push through it.

Go for a walk, talk to a good friend, read a good book. Don’t AVOID! But do take steps to push through it when you’ve spend the necessary time feeling and processing.

Take Action Now!

Think of the last time you avoided or ignored your emotions. How did that feel? How did your body physically respond? Is there anything you’re holding onto right now that you would be better off processing and releasing?

Share with me one way you’ll commit to honoring, processing and releasing your emotions.

Did someone say UNSHAKABLE JOY? Oh, it was me. :) If you want to experience unshakable joy, passion and fulfillment in your life, then you need to be on my mailing list NOW. February 7th marks the release of my new program, Foundations for Unshakable Joy, and there will be some pretty sweet early-bird offers for my list. Subscribe below!

Yes, I want to experience UNSHAKABLE JOY!

Do you ever wonder what it is about some people that makes them so confident? So completely comfortable in their skin and radiating such positive, charismatic energy? I used to wonder this too. And then I learned that confidence really comes down to one INCREDIBLY SIMPLE thing.

Owning it.

When you’re “owning it,” it means that you’re totally and completely at peace with WHO YOU ARE in every moment, interaction and experience. You make no apologies for being awkward, nervous, excited, loud, soft spoken or other… you’re just you.

You radiate charismatic energy whether or not you have an extroverted personality because you are genuinely CONTENT with yourself and your present experience.

I know, I know… this is easier said than done. But today I’m going to share with you some simple tips, tricks and adjustments you can make to appear (more importantly FEEL) confident no matter what.

How to own it and be totally confident, all of the time.

1) Get out of your head!

When you stop engaging in the present moment and begin to THINK about how you look, sound, feel, smell, etc. you’re creating an immediate disconnect. Whether you’re disconnecting from a conversation or general experience, the effect is the same: you immediately lose confidence.

This loss of confidence creates an energetic wave that is felt by EVERYONE in the same room, interacting with you or listening to you speak.

It took me some time to understand this concept myself, but it’s amazing how someone else’s perception of, and connection to you can change the instant that you disengage with the present moment and go into your head. It makes it harder for them to connect to your message or to you, leaving them uncertain and uninterested.

The trick to living in the present moment is CONSTANT practice. When you catch yourself engaging in a viscous thought cycle rather than the present moment (or the person you’re with), use your senses to gently guide you back. Speak, take in the smells, notice the textures that you can feel.

People that appear totally cool and collected, they are 100% engaged in the present moment.

2) Own it. Whatever “it” is.

The second way to create instant and unshakable confidence is to totally OWN it. Whether it’s your opinions, emotions, feelings, words or choice of dessert, just own it. Don’t give a single thought to what anyone else would think of what you’re doing.

You’re you, you want what you want and you do what you do.

No apologies. No explanation. Just own it.

This concept is easy to grasp in terms of ordering whatever you want off the menu or picking a movie, but what about your feelings, emotions and experiences?

For the longest time I struggled to own my personality, my view of the world, my way of thinking and my feelings. Not only did I lack confidence, I was stressed, uncomfortable and completely miserable trying to “fit in” with the rest of the world.

I can tell you from experience, it’s a waste of precious time and energy.

If you’re feeling sad or moody, just own it. Be sad, be moody. Are you nervous as hell? OWN IT. Tell everyone that you’re nervous as hell! It stops the process of entering your head dead in it’s tracks.

Before I was practicing the art of owning it, I used to get EXTREMELY nervous going to networking events, especially the ones where you have to introduce yourself! There were so many times that I was so lost in my head and fighting my feelings that when I sat back down after introducing myself, I honestly couldn’t remember if I said my name right. So instead of pretending that I was anything less than I was in that moment, I just told people, “I’m not very good at this ‘speaking in front of people thing’ so just bare with me!”

You know what I got? Smiles, applause and REAL CONNECTION to everyone in the room instead of the typical glazed over stares and uninterested faces. I showed them I was a real person the second that I chose to own my feelings. Being totally okay with whatever emotions, sensations or feelings you’re experiencing in ANY given moment results in the appearance of TOTAL confidence.

It also allows you to out your feelings which weakens their power over you and allows you to just “party with them” as my mentor Josh Pais says.

Ever heard someone do what I just described? Say that they’re nervous and not good at public speaking, yet they make it look so easy that you think they’re lying? They’re owning it, and THAT is what gives them the confidence that you see.

3) Just. Be. You.

This is similar to the last step, but hear me out. When you honor who you really are, you will do things like wear the clothes that you really love… this in turn makes you feel COMFORTABLE, and that produces confidence.

Have you ever dressed up in a fancy suit or some clothes that aren’t your normal style? Did you feel uncomfortable the entire time? I bet you did. That triggers your mind to run wild with thoughts that do nothing but zap your confidence and make you feel like crap.

By honoring who you are and what you truly prefer in life, you’re creating an environment for confidence. You’re allowing yourself to be comfortable and express yourself. In turn, you ATTRACT the right people, opportunities and more into your life. When the right people and opportunities come along, you feel CONFIDENT because things are EASY. They work for you and your personality.

Don’t ever pretend to be someone or something you’re not! Just be you. You are amazing. You are unique. You will be so much happier and more confident when you just settle into who you are.

Take Action Now!

Leave a comment below letting me know the last time you felt totally comfortable and confident. What were you doing? Who were you with? Can you identify any of these steps at play? I would love to hear your own personal experiences with confidence (or lack thereof)!

Pssst! Need an instant confidence boost? How about getting clear on exactly what you want out of life and creating an easy-to-implement action plan, based on YOUR life, preferences and needs, to make it happen FAST? My program, Foundations for Unshakable Joy, is launching on February 7th and will give you all that and SO MUCH MORE!

Subscribe to my list now and receive a special discount when it launches.

I hear you.

I know exactly what it feels like to be stuck in a job that makes you feel like your life is going nowhere.

The very worst part is when you cross the line between “I can do this for a little while” and “OMG I can’t take another painful day at this place!” Suddenly getting out of bed becomes near impossible and you feel so drained at the end of the day that there’s no energy left for anything else… especially looking for a job that fulfills you and leaves you excited for more (what? that’s possible? YES).

So what do you do?

Not to worry, as an experienced job hater (I worked MANY jobs before launching a fulfilling career working for myself), I have some simple tips and tricks to help your days become more enjoyable, leaving you with the energy to manifest the perfect position (or career) into your life.

How You Do Anything is How You Do Everything

The concept behind this one is that you need to go pro in your life. What does going pro mean? It means that you treat every aspect of your life, and day, like it’s your profession and you’re #1 in that field.

When you wake up in the morning, you brush your teeth like a professional tooth brusher. When you prepare your breakfast, you do it with the care and attention to detail that you would if you were going to serve it to a customer at a restaurant. When you get dressed, you get dressed like being totally put together and attractive is your JOB.

And when you show up to work? You show up as a pro. You do the best work that you can, with a positive attitude and a smile on your face. Why? Because how you do anything is truly how you do everything. You want to be in a positive state of mind, giving your absolute best and ready to take on any challenges when that perfect opportunity shows up.

I promise that if you take just one day and go pro, you’re going to feel energized and amazing a the end of it! You’ll feel as if you’ve made a difference, done significant work and looked your best while doing it. And when you make it a habit? That’s when synchronicity and miracles begin to happen.

Practice Gratitude All Day Long

Get yourself a little pocket notebook and pen that you can keep with you all day. When something happens at your job that frustrates you, take it out and write down 3 things you’re grateful for about this experience. I know it sounds impossible, but do your best.

For example, if you’re in customer service and you encounter an impossible to deal with customer who makes you stressed out and ready to quit, bust out the notebook. One positive thing could be grateful for is that he had been chewing gum and at least he wasn’t blasting you with garlic breath while yelling. Or, maybe you liked his sweater and he was generally well dressed. It doesn’t matter, the point is to find three positive things about the situation.

A negative mindset spells dead end in your life. Don’t go there! Be grateful that you have a job and can pay your bills. Practice gratitude in each moment that you can and you will soon find that more and more truly positive experiences and opportunities are arriving in your life.

Do One Thing That Moves You Towards Your Dream Career Each Day

Whether you’re still in school, trying to land a dream gig or trying to start a business, do one simple thing that will move you forward each day. Get online and send an email to someone that you want to connect with. Update your resume, research ways that you can get your foot in the door in your market, work on your vision board or network through social media.

The act of taking one small action will help you feel like you’re moving, because YOU ARE! Don’t let the fact that you’re working at a job you hate keep you from taking action. Make a list of little things you can do to move forward and start doing them every day!

And if you’re one of the LUCKY ones to have a day job with downtime, utilize it! Do research, take an online course, network on Twitter or Facebook. This will also eliminate that painful feeling of being “stuck” that jobs often create.

TRUST That This IS Temporary

Sometimes we have to detour from our field or chosen path. It happens to the best of us and you’re not any less of a person or talent because of it. This job IS temporary. Trust that! So long as you put into practice the tools I’ve laid out above, this job will become less painful for you and you will begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Take Action Now!

Tell me three things that you’re grateful for about your day job.

They can be ANYTHING. And those of you that are past the dreaded day job phase, share your tips and insights in the comments below! I know I would love to hear your own experiences and advice! xo

Also, I’m getting ready to launch Foundations for Unshakable Joy in February! This program will help you discover what it is you TRULY want out of life, as well as create a step-by-step action plan to achieve it, FAST!

Subscribe to my list now and receive a special discount when it launches.

As another year comes to a close, this is a natural time to do some reflecting and planing. I personally take myself through an “annual review” in which I take an audit of where I’m at in my life, what I accomplished, what I didn’t accomplish and begin to create plans and systems for the year ahead. I originally heard of this concept from Chris over at Art of Non-Conformity and have since adapted it to my own personal process.

I think this is an essential step that most people bypass.

They dive straight into resolutions and goals… but when you haven’t taken an honest assessment of how the last year, resolutions and goals went, you’re likely to simply repeat whatever cycle you’ve been living. I’ve personally heard people in my life repeat the same resolution year after year. If they had, however, taken the time to really reflect on what they set out to do and why they did or did not accomplish it, they would be in a position to celebrate the past year as well as create new goals and resolutions to continue moving forward.

How to Conduct Your Own Review

1) What did you accomplish this past year?

It’s so important to acknowledge all the big and small things that you accomplished or experienced over the year. You’ve done far more than you give yourself credit for and RIGHT NOW is the time to really reflect and appreciate these wins.

I want you to list out AT LEAST 25 things that you accomplished in this past year!

2) What did you set out to do, but did not accomplish? Why not?

If you want to make progress on your dreams and goals, you have to honestly assess what you did not accomplish and WHY. It’s so important to understand the why! Maybe the goal was far too lofty or you realized you just didn’t have any interest in completing it after all. If you want to acheive what you set out to do in 2012, you really need to understand what prevented you from doing so this past year. Then you can work to avoid obstacles and roadblocks going forward!

I want you to list out all the things you set out to achieve but didn’t, and more importantly, WHY you didn’t. This is a no judgement zone. Do NOT feel guilty or like you’ve failed! It’s a waste of precious energy that could be put towards creating success in the days to come.

3) Select a word for 2012.

The way to ensure that you experience the things you want to experience, live the life you desire and make amazing things happen is to create a theme for the year to come. What do you want to feel and experience next year? What do you want the tone of your life to be for the next 12 months? What is a word that captures the essence of all of this?

For me, 2012 is going to be the year of abundance, financially and beyond. I intend to experience abundance in my relationships, my work, my bank accounts, my happiness levels and the miracles and magic I experience in collaboration with others and the universe.

Take some time to think about what you want to feel and experience, then find ONE WORD that sums it up. Write this out and paste it above your work station or on your bathroom mirror.

4) Set goals that propel you forward.

Now that you know what you want to feel and experience in your life, what goals will support that in all areas of your life? Let’s take my word for example… abundance. For me to feel and experience this in 2012, I need to put the proper financial systems into place, get clear on what projects and clients I want to work on, what relationships in my life to cultivate and how to integrate more of the things that bring me joy and fulfillment.

Knowing this allows me to set goals that keep me inspired and focused for the next year. It gets me clear on what I need to STOP doing, who I need to STOP seeing and what things are counterproductive to abundance. It helps me choose goals that MATTER, that are important to me and will allow me to create the life I really want.

NO RESOLUTIONS. These are usually just things you “think” you should do and that is the very reason you likely won’t achieve them. All this does is set  you up for disappointment in yourself, leaving you paralyzed and frustrated.

Goals that propel you forward are ones that EXCITE you. They will leave you feeling accomplished, inspired and energized when you reach them. Instead of “lose 10lbs,” how about run a marathon this year? Instead of “make X more money,” how about create and sell that product, artwork or other item that you’ve been longing to produce your whole life? The difference is that you will achieve the mundane goal in the process, but you will feel so much more compelled to do so because you’ve created a goal that inspires you.

Take action NOW!

I want you to share some or all of the following with me in the comments:

1) GLOAT. What did you accomplish in 2011? Hold nothing back, I want to celebrate with you!!

2) What did not go well in 2011? What did you learn when you asked yourself WHY?

3) What is your word for 2012?

4) Share with me one goal that will propel you forward next year?

Psssst! My program, Foundations for Unshakable Joy, is launching on February 7th, 2012! It’s the EXACT foundational process that took me from a stressed and depressed mess, to living the joy-filled life I lead today, following my passions and working for myself in beautiful Hawaii. I’ll teach you how to determine what YOU want in life and exactly how to make it happen, FAST. My list will receive first dibs on some special offers. Get on my list NOW! :)

Very recently I was invited to a social get together that sounded like a lot of fun, so RSVP’d yes. But as the night approached, I was feeling less and less enthused about it. For one, it had been a busy week and I was tired, but I also felt a TON of resistance to going.

So I didn’t.

But as I sat at home enjoying my relaxing evening, the thought popped into my head, “What’s wrong with you? You should have gone. It would have been fun. You need to be more social.” My MIND believed that there was something wrong with sitting at home on Friday night.

But the more that I thought about it, the more I realized that I was doing EXACTLY what I wanted.

Have you ever experienced this?

Being invited to something that SOUNDS like a great time, like something you’d want to do, with people you’d probably like to know. But there’s that initial pause where you’re not sure… and as this thing begins to get closer, you REALLY do NOT want to go. So what do you do?

If you go, you’ll feel resentful, exhausted and stressed out.

If you don’t, you’ll feel guilty, worried that you should have and unsure if you made the right choice.

Here’s the thing. I trusted my intuition (that guiding voice that said, HECK NO, I DO NOT WANT TO GO!) and stayed home to enjoy a much needed, relaxing evening. But as soon as I stopped enjoying and existing in the present moment, my thoughts got the best of me. Thoughts that have been manipulated by what other people think or what society tells us.

You should be social. You should have “fun” on Friday nights. Sitting at home alone is lame.

And you don’t want to be lame, do you?

So how do you decide if you REALLY want to do something or if you just think you should?

How to be 100% SURE you want to do something.

Listen to your intuition!

Sure, it can be a bit fuzzy sometimes if you’re not super connected to it, but your intuition knows best. No ifs, ands or buts about it. If you feel even the tiniest bit of hesitation, don’t commit to something. Put it on your calendar, say you’ll think about it or see how you feel when it’s closer.

If this thing begins to draw closer and you’re really excited about it, GREAT! Go. Thankfully without the stressful act of committing, you won’t be feeling stress and resentment as it draws near, but if you’re not feeling excitement either, then you know it’s not something you want to do.

If it’s something that REQUIRES an RSVP or commitment for any reason, TRUST YOUR GUT. Again, any ounce of resistance is hinting at something that you may not realize yet. You may be double booking yourself, over-committing or you may just really, on a deep level, not want to.

If you “think” it sounds fun, that’s a red flag.

THINKING means you’re not utilizing your intuition and inner guidance. You’ve probably convinced yourself that it’s a good idea, it will be fun or that you should. It may sound really, REALLY fun to you, but if you “think” ANYTHING beyond that, then it might not be for you.

I thought the gathering I was inviting to sounded really fun. But I didn’t feel excited deep down. I just THOUGHT, “Oh, this is a good idea, it should be fun and I really should go.” Why waste your time if you’re not overwhelmed with excitement?

Know yourself.

If I’d have stepped back and asked myself, “Is this really the kind of thing I would enjoy?” The answer would have been NO.

Deep down, you know what you do or don’t enjoy, whether you’re ready to admit that to others and yourself. Maybe it’s that you can’t stand going to networking events. Maybe it’s that you really just don’t like the movie theater and would rather curl up on the couch. Maybe it’s that you don’t really connect with those people on a necessary level.

It’s doesn’t matter… what matters is that take the time to know and honor your personal preferences.

But what about the things we “HAVE” to do?

Now, I realize that there are things that we’ll have to do in our lives out of love or respect to others, but even then… if you really, REALLY do not want to do something or know you’ll be miserable, hopefully you’ll be surrounded by people that UNDERSTAND.

You shouldn’t feel obligated unless that obligation is of some importance to you. For someone you love because you TRULY want to help them out. For something very important TO YOU and your personal goals or development. These are great opportunities for growth, if there is some part of you that deeply desires to participate. If not, then it’s only going to cause you stress and resentment. No good.

Take action NOW!

Leave a comment below sharing an experience you had where you said yes, when you really should have said no. What do you remember feeling when you were asked? How can you better honor yourself and listen to your intuition going forward?

If you enjoyed this post and don’t want to miss another, subscribe to my mailing list now!

No matter what it is that you’re battling on an emotional level right now, it shouldn’t be as painful as it is. This is not meant to invalidate your feelings, because you are absolutely right and valid in feeling what it is that you feel, but you’re also the one making it far worse than it needs to be.

The cause of our suffering is most often our resistance to what is.

When someone we love leaves us (a broken friendship, breakup or a family member who’s passed), we don’t want it to be true. We want to fight to keep it, we want to replay our time together over and over in our heads… we want to do absolutely anything but accept that it is what it is.

Or when we’re working at a miserable job, we resist it. We fight each day with every cell in our body, effectively stressing ourselves out, upping the pain level and damaging our own spirits. We don’t want to be there, so we resist it as hard as we can.

If you want to be happy, experience passion and fulfillment in your life and move through whatever it is that pains you right now, you have to stop resisting it.

It is what it is. Painful, yes. But like all things, that pain WILL PASS. The longer that you resist feeling and experiencing it, or more importantly, accepting it, the longer it will linger. The more pain you’ll feel, the more damage you’ll do to your own body and the longer it will take to feel joyful again.

Three Simple Steps to Stop Resisting What Is

1) Face It.

When painful things are occurring, we like to avoid dealing with them. We distract ourselves through solving other problems, watching TV or just physically being elsewhere.

You HAVE to face what’s causing you pain head on.

Your relationship ended. Your job is horrible. Your friend said something terrible behind your back. Someone close to you has a terrible illness. There was an accident. This has happened. The first thing that you need to do is FACE IT. See it for what it is, experience what YOU need to experience.

Cry, write, throw things. Talk to someone you love. Take some time away from work. You can’t hide from these emotions because there’s nowhere for them to go. If you don’t face them now, they will literally eat you alive, causing you more suffering that is completely unnecessary.

2) Accept It.

Accepting it doesn’t mean that you’re condoning someone’s bad behavior, forgetting a person you love or that you’re going to put up with a terrible boss. It simply means that you’re accepting the situation at face value. It is what it is.

Look at the situation as if you are an outside reporter documenting the story. See the facts, not the drama in your head. Observe what is happening and don’t resist it. Don’t analyze it, don’t over think it and don’t FIGHT IT. Just accept it. No judgments.

3) Release it.

Releasing isn’t necessarily about forgetting or putting something behind you. It’s about releasing your grip and need to control the situation. You’ve faced it and you’ve accepted it… now it’s time to release all resistance, all desire for any particular outcome and begin to trust in the universe, God or whatever higher power that suits you.

Everything DOES happen for a reason. We can’t always see it in the moment, but you know that this is true and that one day you will understand the value in what’s happening to you now. There’s a reason that people say this so often, because they too have experienced a pain like yours and they have made it through to see the value or gift in the situation, just as you will.

Bad jobs help us find amazing jobs. Old relationships allow us to grow into the person we need to be and prepare us for the right relationships. Illness or death can bring clarity, deeper connection and gratitude.

It doesn’t make it any less painful to experience it, but you have to trust that it is for a reason and that you WILL be okay. You will grow, you will recover, you will find peace.

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe

Take Action Now

If you’re experiencing pain on any level, I want you to take a good look at the level of resistance that you may be creating. Where do you need to face your problems head on? Where do you need to accept them? And where do you need to release?

Psssst! I’m getting ready to launch my program Foundations for Unshakable Joy, on February 7th, 2012. This is the EXACT foundational process that took me from a stressed and depressed mess, to happy, fulfilled and living a life built around my passions and purpose! It will help you not only determine what it is you really want out of life, but what steps you need to take to get there, FAST.

Subscribe to my list below and receive a special offer when it launches! :)