Yes, You DO Have a Purpose…

What the heck is purpose anyways?

To some, the word lights a fire in their belly because they truly understand what it means to live life with a purpose or calling. Others will cringe at the word… what a silly word, purpose. They doubt that everyone (including themselves) has a purpose or that things really do happen for a reason.

I believe that absolutely everything, including the awful, happens for a reason.

To enlighten us… or those we leave behind.

To force us to change our ways… a catalyst for growth.

To shape us into the people we’re meant to be… so that we can live our purpose.

You really do have a purpose, and it’s simply this:

Be you. Totally and completely. Fully expressed at ALL times.

When you’re just you, living that authentic self FULL OUT, it’s impossible to live a life off purpose. You do the things that you love and are skilled at. You spend time with the people you’re supposed to be with (because those who aren’t supposed to be in your life fall away). You travel to the places that you’re meant to be. And naturally, you begin to pursue your passions.

Ask yourself this:

If you didn’t have to please or worry about anyone else, what would you do? If money was no concern, how would you spend your time? Where would you be? With whom?

Don’t roll your eyes at these questions because you’ve heard them a million times… there’s a reason for that. It’s EYE-OPENING when you take the time to honestly look inside your heart to discover your truth.

Many times this questions is avoided out of FEAR. Fear that the life you have now isn’t the one you really want. Fear that the person you’re with, the friends or the tribe is actually steering you further from your truth. Fear that if you answer honestly, it will mean you have to DO SOMETHING about it.

Humor me… take some time with this question. Sit with it. Feel what bubbles up for you… what visions flash into your mind. Where your wildest fantasies take you. Discovering your truth requires honesty with yourself! And don’t worry, it doesn’t mean you have to throw everything away or start over.

Make an effort to simply know yourself and what you truly desire.

At a total loss?

Three simple ways to begin to discover your purpose:

1. Start following your tiny urges.

Do you really want to paint? Play guitar? Try some fancy new recipe? Have you been secretly dying to learn salsa or maybe even take a pole dancing class? Whatever your tiny little urge… indulge it. Take a class, buy the tools and try something that will begin to move you in the direction of what you REALLY want to do.

Nothing is too random, crazy or silly. If you have the urge, follow it! It will lead you into amazing new territory and allow you to get to know yourself on a deep level.

2. Be completely honest, ALL of the time.

Whether it’s with your friends, family or yourself, be totally honest about EVERYTHING. Don’t just agree with what everyone else is saying or doing. Don’t say you’ll do one thing when you really don’t want to or you’d rather do something else. Explore your truth.

Be honest with your words AND your actions… the purchases you make, clothes you chose to wear and things you decide to do. Your actions reflect your truth as strongly as your words. Begin to be honest and express that through everything you do.

Start small, but be confident in who you are and what you believe.

3. Realize you are the ONLY PERSON who knows what’s best.

Input can be phenomenal, but oftentimes we rely too heavily on our friends or family when making decisions. Before we know it, we don’t feel as if we can truly be ourselves because we’re so concerned about the approval of others. Don’t hand your power to someone else.

As much as they love you, these people’s assistance can sometimes hinder your ability to find and follow your purpose. They want only the best for you, and their actions can come from a place of protection… which is not always congruent with total support.

If you feel like something is right for you, then you need to trust your intuition!

Take action now!

Leave a comment below sharing some things you discovered about yourself when you honestly answered the questions above!

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” Howard Thurman

Pssst! If you’re ready to dig deep and take an honest look at your life, discover what you REALLY want and make an easy-to-implement action plan to make it happen FAST, then my new program Foundations for Unshakable Joy is for you!

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Guess What? You’re Not Supposed to Have it All Figured Out by Now!

Do you ever feel like you should be more experienced, further along or more on top of things in your life? That you should have an amazing career, the perfect husband and a clear sense of who you are and where you’re supposed to be? Worse, that you should already be there by now?

It’s time for a reality check.

You can only be who you are right now, in this moment, EXACTLY where you’re at. There’s nothing more to know. If you’re feeling discontent, stressed out or depressed, it’s not because you should be or have something other than what you have right now. It’s because you’re beating yourself up about what you’re lacking, rather than focusing on CREATING joy, fulfillment, passion and purpose in your life.

The truth about having it all figured out:

Where you thought you were “supposed to be by now” is irrelevant.

It was crafted by a younger, less experienced and not-here-right-now version of yourself. The only thing you’re supposed to have is this moment with whoever is here, wherever you are, as the person you are TODAY. How could you possibly have known what you “should” know today?

You had no idea what experiences, opportunities and personal transformations you would go through and how they would effect what you want in life. Feeling like you should be somewhere by now, when you’re clearly not “there,” should only tell you that maybe it’s NOT where you’re supposed to be.

When you’re on the right path, synchronicity is heightened and things feel easy. If you don’t feel that, chances are you’ve ventured down the wrong path and lost sight of what you REALLY want. Getting off course and feeling like you should be somewhere are clear signs that you’ve been working towards a life that is heavily influence by what others or society expect of you.

There will never be a point where you’ll have it all figured out. Ever.

Your life, personality, spirituality, knowledge and relationships are ALWAYS changing. You’re going to learn new things, discover new passions, meet new people and travel to new places… again and again, for the rest of your life. It’s impossible to ever have EVERYTHING figured out and there’s certainly no date by which you should. Stop putting pressure on yourself to get somewhere you can never reach.

Life is a learning process! Relationships, jobs, struggles, successes and everything in between are opportunities for spiritual growth. They give you a new perspective, tools or insights into who you really are and what you deeply desire. Everything and everyone around us is on this same journey, which makes it completely impossible to ever truly “figure it all out.”

The only thing that matters is who you are and what you desire RIGHT NOW.

It’s about incorporating more of what lights you up and less of what brings you down. What brings you JOY? What is your passion? Where do you find fulfillment, belly laughs and inspiration?

Unshakable joy, fulfillment and passion are produced by staying focused on what you really desire in your life right now. It also comes from knowing that “right now” is in constant flux. Regularly checking in with yourself is essential.

Take action now!

I want you to make a list of all the things you feel you should have, know or be by now. Take some time to consider where these beliefs came from. Your parents? Society? Internal expectations that stress you out always have an external source. Try to identify them.

Next, determine what’s really important to YOU. Use the following questions:

Three Things You MUST DO to Feel Joyful

Things that continue to surface when you think about living your best life, being happier, more fulfilled and joyful, those are the things you MUST BE DOING because your spirit is calling for them.

If you’re constantly saying you wish you painted more, wrote poetry or short stories, started meditating, drank more green juice or got to be outdoors more… then you need to prioritize these things. When we see something we connect with on a deep level, we know it. We’re drawn to it in a way we can’t explain. We long for it.

Those that need to paint, are captivated by other people’s artwork, pour over art supply catalogs, long to buy and begin expressing themselves on canvas.

Those that need to meditate are constantly saying they should meditate. They wish that there was time in their day, extra money to attend a retreat or that they had access to a wellness center in their community for guided sessions.

Those that need to be outside are always staring out the window longingly, imagining themselves on a trail or beach and antsy from lack of movement and fresh air.

Whether or not you realize it, you KNOW what things you need in your life to feel joy. To live fully expressed, stress free and make YOUR contribution.

Here Are Three Things You MUST DO to Feel Joyful

1) Determine what things you’re drawn to.

When you envision yourself feeling happy and joyful, where are you? Who are you with? What are you doing? What makes the experience a happy one?

If you struggle with these questions, think about the last time you felt truly alive and happy. What were you doing? Was it back in high school, maybe college? Was it a specific class centered around a forgotten passion? Were you being expressive, using your hands, playing, learning or connecting?

Who’s life do you feel jealous of? The woman that runs her own business? The mom down the street with an adorable newborn? The musician that plays at the local coffee shop? Ask yourself what it is about their life you’re drawn to and WHY.

2) Eliminate your excuses.

We all have our reasons why we feel we can’t make time for these things. How are you supposed to take up painting when you’re exhausted by your crappy job? You have bills to pay, there’s no way that you can travel and see the world. Or maybe you’re with someone that would never support this thing you desire to do. Stop making excuses and start looking for solutions!

If you set aside just 30 – 60 minutes each day to paint SOMETHING, before you know it, you would have a finished piece. You would have discovered your style, improved tremendously in your technique and had a lot of fun.

If you stopped buying Starbucks every day, cut back on your expenses and watched travel deals like a hawk, I’m positive that you would find the perfect opportunity (WITHIN your means) to travel and start seeing the world.

If you ditched that person that doesn’t support you (because, hello, that’s NOT LOVE), then you would be left with no excuse not to do the things you want to do.

There is ALWAYS a way! It may not be exactly how you picture it in your head, but if you just START, you’ll get there. Make as much time as you can. If it’s only 5 minutes a day, AWESOME. Just do it. Start RIGHT NOW and before you know it, you’ll be living a life that’s infused with your passions, leaving you joyful and satisfied.

3) Start a daily practice.

Carrying on from the last step, you must have a regular, daily practice. If writing brings you joy, helps you feel centered, and allows you to be focused, then it’s necessary for success in ALL areas of your life.

If painting makes you feel happy and alive, allows you to eliminate stress in your body, keeps your mood from diving into depression, and adds color to your world, YOU HAVE to make the time to regularly put brush to canvas.

We often overlook these essential activities in our lives because they seem frivolous. If you have time to paint, you probably have time to do something “more productive.” But if you don’t make the time to do something that LIGHTS YOU UP, you will be stressed out, off balance and far less productive on a long-term basis than if you just took 5 minutes to yourself each day.

If your life feels overwhelming, start small. Free write for 5 minutes each day. Paint something, ANYTHING, for 15 minutes every day. Jog once around the block every morning. Bake something one day each week.

Before you know it, you’ll feel the benefits of these little spurts and will find yourself giving more and more time to the things that you love. This is GOOD. The more time you’re able to give to these things, the happier you’ll feel. You’ll be more productive, more loving, stress free and fulfilled in your life.

Find five minutes in your day and make it a priority.

And remember, go with the flow!

You may start out focused on writing every day, but if (and when) you find yourself drawn to something new and unexpected, just go with the flow. Your spirit is initially drawn to what it needs to thrive so it can carry you on the path you’re meant to take. Honor that and just go with it!

Take Action Now!

In the comments section below, tell me at least one thing you feel drawn to. Next, tell me one commitment you will make to incorporate this into your life TODAY.

Need help finding what lights you up? If you want to experience unshakable joy, passion and fulfillment in your life, then you need to be on my mailing list NOW. February 7th marks the release of my new program, Foundations for Unshakable Joy™, and there will be some pretty sweet early-bird offers for my list. Subscribe below!

Yes, I want to experience UNSHAKABLE JOY!

It’s Really Not You, It’s Them.

I’m not talking exclusively about relationships. I’m referring to the naysayers, judgmental individuals and the people who make it their mission to BRING YOU DOWN.

The times when you’re really excited about something and someone makes an attempt to burst your bubble. The people that push your buttons, tell you you’re not good enough or try to make you feel like you have no idea what you’re doing, you’re just a screw up.

It’s not you, it’s them.

YOU are a capable, brilliant and amazing individual and that scares “them.” It makes them uncomfortable that you could potentially surpass what they’ve created in their own life. That you could create something they want, but are too afraid to realize for themselves. And if you can do it in your life, they might be expected to get off their butts and do it too, no more excuses.

They are TERRIFIED by your brilliance, but rather than use those feelings as motivation to do and be more in their own life, they work to bring you down. Why? Because it’s easier and less work.

It also makes them feel better, temporarily, to see you feel worse.

As you can see, it’s REALLY not you. It’s them.

And that’s really all you have to know.

Okay, and I wrote you these four simple steps to deal with it…

1. Identify “them.”

Sometimes these people can be subtle by saying or doing just enough to bring you down, but not enough to make it obvious. This can be partly because they don’t realize it, or because they’re doing their best to hold it back. Either way, it’s important to know who THEY are.

Whether blatantly obvious or subtle, these people are TOXIC to your life and success. They are attempting to bring you down, deflate you, drain your energy or sabotage your success.

Take a good hard look at the people in your life and get honest with yourself.

WHO leaves you feeling like less than you are? Who makes you feel like you’re not good enough, your ideas aren’t possible or like you have no idea what you’re talking about?

2. Send them light and love.

Knowing that it’s not you can help shed new light on the situation. These people have lost, abandoned or forgotten dreams… they’re stressed out, angry or depressed. No, this doesn’t give them any right to bring you down, but it does explain why they may be doing it. Or, they could just be mean.

Either way, send them light and love. Don’t build up resentments or hold grudges. Don’t try to bring them down and don’t try to pick a fight with them. Just know that there is pain or suffering that causes them to act the way they do, and that isn’t energy you want to get tangled up with.

Forgive them, wish them the best and love them, but from a distance.

3. Let it go.

I’ve said it many times, there is absolutely nothing in this world worthy of a grudge. Once you realize that these people have their own issues and that it’s not about you, you need to let it go.

Shake it off. Pound the pavement. Write in your journal. Just let it go!

If you dwell on what they say or do, you’re allowing them control over your life and emotions. Take ownership of the situation by creating an energy barrier. Nothing this person says or does to you can have any effect on your life unless you let it. So DON’T LET IT.

4. Surround yourself with love and support!

It’s so important to find people that love and support you unconditionally.

People that understand what you’re trying to create in your life and would never do a single thing to discourage you. These people are solid and secure in who they are and their own lives, and probably have a lot of great, inspiring things going for them.

When you surround yourself with passionate, positive and inspired individuals, there is no where to go but UP. These people are possibility thinkers, idea generators and LOVE to give and receive support.

For every toxic person you eliminate from your life, try to find one or two loving and supportive individuals to take their place. This may be through a networking group, meetup, educational class or mastermind.

Take Action Now!

1. Make a list of all the people in your life that leave you feeling drained, bummed out or stressed. These may be neighbors, family, “friends,” or co-workers and colleagues. The people on this list no longer get to share in your successes, day-to-day life or other… at the very least, they get limited access to you.
2. Take a moment to send loving, healing and forgiving thoughts to every single person on your list. Wish them only the best, forgive their negativity and send them positive energy.
3. Take your list and burn or trash it. Move on with your life!

Leave a comment below letting me know how many negative individuals you’ve identified in your life and one action step you’re going to take to replace them with positive people!

Are you ready to make MASSIVE positive shifts in your life? If you want to experience unshakable joy, passion and fulfillment in your life, then you need to be on my mailing list NOW. February 7th marks the release of my new program, Foundations for Unshakable Joy™, and there will be some pretty sweet early-bird offers for my list. Subscribe below!

Yes, I want to experience UNSHAKABLE JOY!

The Other Night I Cried My Eyes Out

I know that you may be thinking… “no, not YOU. The one who’s always talking about a positive mindset, unshakable joy and living a life around your passion.” But it’s true.

The other night I cried my eyes out.

You see, the thing about living a life centered around joy, passion and fulfillment, is that it involves tears. It involves pain and suffering because like you, I’m human. Suffering in this life is unavoidable.

Despite living a life I LOVE, doing work that LIGHTS UP MY SOUL, I still get punched in the gut from time to time… I still feel sadness, I still feel frustration.

The difference is that I accept it into my life with open arms, because if there’s anything I’ve learned from my time on this earth is that pain, suffering and sadness truly push you to grow. They force you to be introspective, to explore your natural human emotions and to see what’s not working. To question life, the people that are in it and the work that you’re doing.

The difference between me NOW and me then? I embrace it. I welcome it. I FEEL it.

And I move on from it.

I’m a very deep and reflective person, and that makes me more susceptible to a wide range of emotions at any given time. Whether you’re willing to admit it or not, I’d venture to guess that there’s a very vulnerable and sensitive soul buried beneath the tough, strong or professional masks that you wear every day.

This front that you put out to the world… the one that says “I never cry. I’m not sensitive. I’m not emotional.” It doesn’t SERVE YOU, because you ARE sensitive and you ARE emotional… you’re human. And all humans cry.

Resisting your feelings and emotions DOES NOT serve you!

It leads to stress, sickness, disease, broken relationships, fits of rage and bouts of deep, dark depression. Anyone who’s experienced any of the above knows that these are simply no good… and when you’re in the habit of NOT DEALING, it’s near impossible to escape.

Being the emotional beings that we are, we’re prone to a wide variety of feelings. When you can learn to just accept them as what they are… a temporary experience or reaction, then you’re no longer captive to them.

You don’t get depressed. You don’t hold grudges. You don’t stuff your feelings deep down until your stomach starts bleeding and you break out in hives.

You feel them. You tend to your needs in that moment. You process. You release.

AND? You are capable of living a life of UNSHAKABLE JOY. Because when you get punched in the gut, hurt or simply feel a little off, you have the tools to bounce back (if you even fall down).

How to Accept, Deal With and RELEASE Your Emotions

Let. It. OUT.

Do not let a single thing fester, ever.

If someone is cruel to you, makes you angry, does something hurtful or crosses boundaries, let them know. Write about it in your journal. Vent to your friends and family. Scream into a pillow.

If a situation brings up emotions for you, express them. Let people know that you’re not feeling it and why. Honor yourself and your emotions. Respond accordingly.

Know the difference between expressing and dwelling.

Expressing is outing your feelings or emotions.

It’s telling the world, the people around you, or even yourself that, hey, I’m FEELING THIS RIGHT NOW. AND IT’S OKAY. It’s recognition and release in one fell swoop.

Dwelling on the other hand, that is rehashing, allowing emotions to fester, bringing up the past over and over again and happily forming a grudge. Grudges simply do not serve ANYONE. They don’t make amends for the harm done to you and they don’t make you feel anything but AWFUL. Don’t go there.

There is NOTHING in this worthy of holding a grudge or harboring negative feelings. Think about it… is there anything that someone’s done to you that’s worth giving up your life for? Getting a disease or losing everything over? No.

Stop being so prideful.

I don’t care if you’re running a successful company, have a rep for being the “coolest” one on the block or if you’re a guy, get over yourself. You’re a human being and we are all designed to feel anger, sadness and everything in between. We ALL cry and anyone who claims otherwise is either a liar or a major fester-pot of pent up emotions.

If you are sad, cry. If you are angry, scream. If you are happy, laugh.

It’s natural, it’s what you’re feeling, so be human and just go with it.

Let it GO!

In the same vein as not dwelling, you have to let these feelings pass naturally. If you feel sadness… cry. But when you’re done (and you will know that natural point at which it’s passed), stop.

Don’t encourage the emotion to linger through sad songs, depressing movies or the like. Don’t remind yourself over and over why you started crying in the first place… just let it run it’s course and pass naturally.

And you do know that point… that moment when you just finally stop crying, the anger subsides or the frustration breaks. Make the conscious choice to leave it at that or to take healthy, positive measure to push through it.

Go for a walk, talk to a good friend, read a good book. Don’t AVOID! But do take steps to push through it when you’ve spend the necessary time feeling and processing.

Take Action Now!

Think of the last time you avoided or ignored your emotions. How did that feel? How did your body physically respond? Is there anything you’re holding onto right now that you would be better off processing and releasing?

Share with me one way you’ll commit to honoring, processing and releasing your emotions.

Did someone say UNSHAKABLE JOY? Oh, it was me. :) If you want to experience unshakable joy, passion and fulfillment in your life, then you need to be on my mailing list NOW. February 7th marks the release of my new program, Foundations for Unshakable Joy, and there will be some pretty sweet early-bird offers for my list. Subscribe below!

Yes, I want to experience UNSHAKABLE JOY!

What is Confidence, REALLY?

Do you ever wonder what it is about some people that makes them so confident? So completely comfortable in their skin and radiating such positive, charismatic energy? I used to wonder this too. And then I learned that confidence really comes down to one INCREDIBLY SIMPLE thing.

Owning it.

When you’re “owning it,” it means that you’re totally and completely at peace with WHO YOU ARE in every moment, interaction and experience. You make no apologies for being awkward, nervous, excited, loud, soft spoken or other… you’re just you.

You radiate charismatic energy whether or not you have an extroverted personality because you are genuinely CONTENT with yourself and your present experience.

I know, I know… this is easier said than done. But today I’m going to share with you some simple tips, tricks and adjustments you can make to appear (more importantly FEEL) confident no matter what.

How to own it and be totally confident, all of the time.

1) Get out of your head!

When you stop engaging in the present moment and begin to THINK about how you look, sound, feel, smell, etc. you’re creating an immediate disconnect. Whether you’re disconnecting from a conversation or general experience, the effect is the same: you immediately lose confidence.

This loss of confidence creates an energetic wave that is felt by EVERYONE in the same room, interacting with you or listening to you speak.

It took me some time to understand this concept myself, but it’s amazing how someone else’s perception of, and connection to you can change the instant that you disengage with the present moment and go into your head. It makes it harder for them to connect to your message or to you, leaving them uncertain and uninterested.

The trick to living in the present moment is CONSTANT practice. When you catch yourself engaging in a viscous thought cycle rather than the present moment (or the person you’re with), use your senses to gently guide you back. Speak, take in the smells, notice the textures that you can feel.

People that appear totally cool and collected, they are 100% engaged in the present moment.

2) Own it. Whatever “it” is.

The second way to create instant and unshakable confidence is to totally OWN it. Whether it’s your opinions, emotions, feelings, words or choice of dessert, just own it. Don’t give a single thought to what anyone else would think of what you’re doing.

You’re you, you want what you want and you do what you do.

No apologies. No explanation. Just own it.

This concept is easy to grasp in terms of ordering whatever you want off the menu or picking a movie, but what about your feelings, emotions and experiences?

For the longest time I struggled to own my personality, my view of the world, my way of thinking and my feelings. Not only did I lack confidence, I was stressed, uncomfortable and completely miserable trying to “fit in” with the rest of the world.

I can tell you from experience, it’s a waste of precious time and energy.

If you’re feeling sad or moody, just own it. Be sad, be moody. Are you nervous as hell? OWN IT. Tell everyone that you’re nervous as hell! It stops the process of entering your head dead in it’s tracks.

Before I was practicing the art of owning it, I used to get EXTREMELY nervous going to networking events, especially the ones where you have to introduce yourself! There were so many times that I was so lost in my head and fighting my feelings that when I sat back down after introducing myself, I honestly couldn’t remember if I said my name right. So instead of pretending that I was anything less than I was in that moment, I just told people, “I’m not very good at this ‘speaking in front of people thing’ so just bare with me!”

You know what I got? Smiles, applause and REAL CONNECTION to everyone in the room instead of the typical glazed over stares and uninterested faces. I showed them I was a real person the second that I chose to own my feelings. Being totally okay with whatever emotions, sensations or feelings you’re experiencing in ANY given moment results in the appearance of TOTAL confidence.

It also allows you to out your feelings which weakens their power over you and allows you to just “party with them” as my mentor Josh Pais says.

Ever heard someone do what I just described? Say that they’re nervous and not good at public speaking, yet they make it look so easy that you think they’re lying? They’re owning it, and THAT is what gives them the confidence that you see.

3) Just. Be. You.

This is similar to the last step, but hear me out. When you honor who you really are, you will do things like wear the clothes that you really love… this in turn makes you feel COMFORTABLE, and that produces confidence.

Have you ever dressed up in a fancy suit or some clothes that aren’t your normal style? Did you feel uncomfortable the entire time? I bet you did. That triggers your mind to run wild with thoughts that do nothing but zap your confidence and make you feel like crap.

By honoring who you are and what you truly prefer in life, you’re creating an environment for confidence. You’re allowing yourself to be comfortable and express yourself. In turn, you ATTRACT the right people, opportunities and more into your life. When the right people and opportunities come along, you feel CONFIDENT because things are EASY. They work for you and your personality.

Don’t ever pretend to be someone or something you’re not! Just be you. You are amazing. You are unique. You will be so much happier and more confident when you just settle into who you are.

Take Action Now!

Leave a comment below letting me know the last time you felt totally comfortable and confident. What were you doing? Who were you with? Can you identify any of these steps at play? I would love to hear your own personal experiences with confidence (or lack thereof)!

Pssst! Need an instant confidence boost? How about getting clear on exactly what you want out of life and creating an easy-to-implement action plan, based on YOUR life, preferences and needs, to make it happen FAST? My program, Foundations for Unshakable Joy, is launching on February 7th and will give you all that and SO MUCH MORE!

Subscribe to my list now and receive a special discount when it launches.

Do You Hate Your Job but Gotta Pay the Bills?

I hear you.

I know exactly what it feels like to be stuck in a job that makes you feel like your life is going nowhere.

The very worst part is when you cross the line between “I can do this for a little while” and “OMG I can’t take another painful day at this place!” Suddenly getting out of bed becomes near impossible and you feel so drained at the end of the day that there’s no energy left for anything else… especially looking for a job that fulfills you and leaves you excited for more (what? that’s possible? YES).

So what do you do?

Not to worry, as an experienced job hater (I worked MANY jobs before launching a fulfilling career working for myself), I have some simple tips and tricks to help your days become more enjoyable, leaving you with the energy to manifest the perfect position (or career) into your life.

How You Do Anything is How You Do Everything

The concept behind this one is that you need to go pro in your life. What does going pro mean? It means that you treat every aspect of your life, and day, like it’s your profession and you’re #1 in that field.

When you wake up in the morning, you brush your teeth like a professional tooth brusher. When you prepare your breakfast, you do it with the care and attention to detail that you would if you were going to serve it to a customer at a restaurant. When you get dressed, you get dressed like being totally put together and attractive is your JOB.

And when you show up to work? You show up as a pro. You do the best work that you can, with a positive attitude and a smile on your face. Why? Because how you do anything is truly how you do everything. You want to be in a positive state of mind, giving your absolute best and ready to take on any challenges when that perfect opportunity shows up.

I promise that if you take just one day and go pro, you’re going to feel energized and amazing a the end of it! You’ll feel as if you’ve made a difference, done significant work and looked your best while doing it. And when you make it a habit? That’s when synchronicity and miracles begin to happen.

Practice Gratitude All Day Long

Get yourself a little pocket notebook and pen that you can keep with you all day. When something happens at your job that frustrates you, take it out and write down 3 things you’re grateful for about this experience. I know it sounds impossible, but do your best.

For example, if you’re in customer service and you encounter an impossible to deal with customer who makes you stressed out and ready to quit, bust out the notebook. One positive thing could be grateful for is that he had been chewing gum and at least he wasn’t blasting you with garlic breath while yelling. Or, maybe you liked his sweater and he was generally well dressed. It doesn’t matter, the point is to find three positive things about the situation.

A negative mindset spells dead end in your life. Don’t go there! Be grateful that you have a job and can pay your bills. Practice gratitude in each moment that you can and you will soon find that more and more truly positive experiences and opportunities are arriving in your life.

Do One Thing That Moves You Towards Your Dream Career Each Day

Whether you’re still in school, trying to land a dream gig or trying to start a business, do one simple thing that will move you forward each day. Get online and send an email to someone that you want to connect with. Update your resume, research ways that you can get your foot in the door in your market, work on your vision board or network through social media.

The act of taking one small action will help you feel like you’re moving, because YOU ARE! Don’t let the fact that you’re working at a job you hate keep you from taking action. Make a list of little things you can do to move forward and start doing them every day!

And if you’re one of the LUCKY ones to have a day job with downtime, utilize it! Do research, take an online course, network on Twitter or Facebook. This will also eliminate that painful feeling of being “stuck” that jobs often create.

TRUST That This IS Temporary

Sometimes we have to detour from our field or chosen path. It happens to the best of us and you’re not any less of a person or talent because of it. This job IS temporary. Trust that! So long as you put into practice the tools I’ve laid out above, this job will become less painful for you and you will begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Take Action Now!

Tell me three things that you’re grateful for about your day job.

They can be ANYTHING. And those of you that are past the dreaded day job phase, share your tips and insights in the comments below! I know I would love to hear your own experiences and advice! xo

Also, I’m getting ready to launch Foundations for Unshakable Joy in February! This program will help you discover what it is you TRULY want out of life, as well as create a step-by-step action plan to achieve it, FAST!

Subscribe to my list now and receive a special discount when it launches.

How to be 100% Prepared to Make 2012 Your BEST Year Ever

As another year comes to a close, this is a natural time to do some reflecting and planing. I personally take myself through an “annual review” in which I take an audit of where I’m at in my life, what I accomplished, what I didn’t accomplish and begin to create plans and systems for the year ahead. I originally heard of this concept from Chris over at Art of Non-Conformity and have since adapted it to my own personal process.

I think this is an essential step that most people bypass.

They dive straight into resolutions and goals… but when you haven’t taken an honest assessment of how the last year, resolutions and goals went, you’re likely to simply repeat whatever cycle you’ve been living. I’ve personally heard people in my life repeat the same resolution year after year. If they had, however, taken the time to really reflect on what they set out to do and why they did or did not accomplish it, they would be in a position to celebrate the past year as well as create new goals and resolutions to continue moving forward.

How to Conduct Your Own Review

1) What did you accomplish this past year?

It’s so important to acknowledge all the big and small things that you accomplished or experienced over the year. You’ve done far more than you give yourself credit for and RIGHT NOW is the time to really reflect and appreciate these wins.

I want you to list out AT LEAST 25 things that you accomplished in this past year!

2) What did you set out to do, but did not accomplish? Why not?

If you want to make progress on your dreams and goals, you have to honestly assess what you did not accomplish and WHY. It’s so important to understand the why! Maybe the goal was far too lofty or you realized you just didn’t have any interest in completing it after all. If you want to acheive what you set out to do in 2012, you really need to understand what prevented you from doing so this past year. Then you can work to avoid obstacles and roadblocks going forward!

I want you to list out all the things you set out to achieve but didn’t, and more importantly, WHY you didn’t. This is a no judgement zone. Do NOT feel guilty or like you’ve failed! It’s a waste of precious energy that could be put towards creating success in the days to come.

3) Select a word for 2012.

The way to ensure that you experience the things you want to experience, live the life you desire and make amazing things happen is to create a theme for the year to come. What do you want to feel and experience next year? What do you want the tone of your life to be for the next 12 months? What is a word that captures the essence of all of this?

For me, 2012 is going to be the year of abundance, financially and beyond. I intend to experience abundance in my relationships, my work, my bank accounts, my happiness levels and the miracles and magic I experience in collaboration with others and the universe.

Take some time to think about what you want to feel and experience, then find ONE WORD that sums it up. Write this out and paste it above your work station or on your bathroom mirror.

4) Set goals that propel you forward.

Now that you know what you want to feel and experience in your life, what goals will support that in all areas of your life? Let’s take my word for example… abundance. For me to feel and experience this in 2012, I need to put the proper financial systems into place, get clear on what projects and clients I want to work on, what relationships in my life to cultivate and how to integrate more of the things that bring me joy and fulfillment.

Knowing this allows me to set goals that keep me inspired and focused for the next year. It gets me clear on what I need to STOP doing, who I need to STOP seeing and what things are counterproductive to abundance. It helps me choose goals that MATTER, that are important to me and will allow me to create the life I really want.

NO RESOLUTIONS. These are usually just things you “think” you should do and that is the very reason you likely won’t achieve them. All this does is set  you up for disappointment in yourself, leaving you paralyzed and frustrated.

Goals that propel you forward are ones that EXCITE you. They will leave you feeling accomplished, inspired and energized when you reach them. Instead of “lose 10lbs,” how about run a marathon this year? Instead of “make X more money,” how about create and sell that product, artwork or other item that you’ve been longing to produce your whole life? The difference is that you will achieve the mundane goal in the process, but you will feel so much more compelled to do so because you’ve created a goal that inspires you.

Take action NOW!

I want you to share some or all of the following with me in the comments:

1) GLOAT. What did you accomplish in 2011? Hold nothing back, I want to celebrate with you!!

2) What did not go well in 2011? What did you learn when you asked yourself WHY?

3) What is your word for 2012?

4) Share with me one goal that will propel you forward next year?

Psssst! My program, Foundations for Unshakable Joy, is launching on February 7th, 2012! It’s the EXACT foundational process that took me from a stressed and depressed mess, to living the joy-filled life I lead today, following my passions and working for myself in beautiful Hawaii. I’ll teach you how to determine what YOU want in life and exactly how to make it happen, FAST. My list will receive first dibs on some special offers. Get on my list NOW! :)

Are You Sure You Want to Do That?

Very recently I was invited to a social get together that sounded like a lot of fun, so RSVP’d yes. But as the night approached, I was feeling less and less enthused about it. For one, it had been a busy week and I was tired, but I also felt a TON of resistance to going.

So I didn’t.

But as I sat at home enjoying my relaxing evening, the thought popped into my head, “What’s wrong with you? You should have gone. It would have been fun. You need to be more social.” My MIND believed that there was something wrong with sitting at home on Friday night.

But the more that I thought about it, the more I realized that I was doing EXACTLY what I wanted.

Have you ever experienced this?

Being invited to something that SOUNDS like a great time, like something you’d want to do, with people you’d probably like to know. But there’s that initial pause where you’re not sure… and as this thing begins to get closer, you REALLY do NOT want to go. So what do you do?

If you go, you’ll feel resentful, exhausted and stressed out.

If you don’t, you’ll feel guilty, worried that you should have and unsure if you made the right choice.

Here’s the thing. I trusted my intuition (that guiding voice that said, HECK NO, I DO NOT WANT TO GO!) and stayed home to enjoy a much needed, relaxing evening. But as soon as I stopped enjoying and existing in the present moment, my thoughts got the best of me. Thoughts that have been manipulated by what other people think or what society tells us.

You should be social. You should have “fun” on Friday nights. Sitting at home alone is lame.

And you don’t want to be lame, do you?

So how do you decide if you REALLY want to do something or if you just think you should?

How to be 100% SURE you want to do something.

Listen to your intuition!

Sure, it can be a bit fuzzy sometimes if you’re not super connected to it, but your intuition knows best. No ifs, ands or buts about it. If you feel even the tiniest bit of hesitation, don’t commit to something. Put it on your calendar, say you’ll think about it or see how you feel when it’s closer.

If this thing begins to draw closer and you’re really excited about it, GREAT! Go. Thankfully without the stressful act of committing, you won’t be feeling stress and resentment as it draws near, but if you’re not feeling excitement either, then you know it’s not something you want to do.

If it’s something that REQUIRES an RSVP or commitment for any reason, TRUST YOUR GUT. Again, any ounce of resistance is hinting at something that you may not realize yet. You may be double booking yourself, over-committing or you may just really, on a deep level, not want to.

If you “think” it sounds fun, that’s a red flag.

THINKING means you’re not utilizing your intuition and inner guidance. You’ve probably convinced yourself that it’s a good idea, it will be fun or that you should. It may sound really, REALLY fun to you, but if you “think” ANYTHING beyond that, then it might not be for you.

I thought the gathering I was inviting to sounded really fun. But I didn’t feel excited deep down. I just THOUGHT, “Oh, this is a good idea, it should be fun and I really should go.” Why waste your time if you’re not overwhelmed with excitement?

Know yourself.

If I’d have stepped back and asked myself, “Is this really the kind of thing I would enjoy?” The answer would have been NO.

Deep down, you know what you do or don’t enjoy, whether you’re ready to admit that to others and yourself. Maybe it’s that you can’t stand going to networking events. Maybe it’s that you really just don’t like the movie theater and would rather curl up on the couch. Maybe it’s that you don’t really connect with those people on a necessary level.

It’s doesn’t matter… what matters is that take the time to know and honor your personal preferences.

But what about the things we “HAVE” to do?

Now, I realize that there are things that we’ll have to do in our lives out of love or respect to others, but even then… if you really, REALLY do not want to do something or know you’ll be miserable, hopefully you’ll be surrounded by people that UNDERSTAND.

You shouldn’t feel obligated unless that obligation is of some importance to you. For someone you love because you TRULY want to help them out. For something very important TO YOU and your personal goals or development. These are great opportunities for growth, if there is some part of you that deeply desires to participate. If not, then it’s only going to cause you stress and resentment. No good.

Take action NOW!

Leave a comment below sharing an experience you had where you said yes, when you really should have said no. What do you remember feeling when you were asked? How can you better honor yourself and listen to your intuition going forward?

If you enjoyed this post and don’t want to miss another, subscribe to my mailing list now!

It Shouldn’t Be As Painful As It Is

No matter what it is that you’re battling on an emotional level right now, it shouldn’t be as painful as it is. This is not meant to invalidate your feelings, because you are absolutely right and valid in feeling what it is that you feel, but you’re also the one making it far worse than it needs to be.

The cause of our suffering is most often our resistance to what is.

When someone we love leaves us (a broken friendship, breakup or a family member who’s passed), we don’t want it to be true. We want to fight to keep it, we want to replay our time together over and over in our heads… we want to do absolutely anything but accept that it is what it is.

Or when we’re working at a miserable job, we resist it. We fight each day with every cell in our body, effectively stressing ourselves out, upping the pain level and damaging our own spirits. We don’t want to be there, so we resist it as hard as we can.

If you want to be happy, experience passion and fulfillment in your life and move through whatever it is that pains you right now, you have to stop resisting it.

It is what it is. Painful, yes. But like all things, that pain WILL PASS. The longer that you resist feeling and experiencing it, or more importantly, accepting it, the longer it will linger. The more pain you’ll feel, the more damage you’ll do to your own body and the longer it will take to feel joyful again.

Three Simple Steps to Stop Resisting What Is

1) Face It.

When painful things are occurring, we like to avoid dealing with them. We distract ourselves through solving other problems, watching TV or just physically being elsewhere.

You HAVE to face what’s causing you pain head on.

Your relationship ended. Your job is horrible. Your friend said something terrible behind your back. Someone close to you has a terrible illness. There was an accident. This has happened. The first thing that you need to do is FACE IT. See it for what it is, experience what YOU need to experience.

Cry, write, throw things. Talk to someone you love. Take some time away from work. You can’t hide from these emotions because there’s nowhere for them to go. If you don’t face them now, they will literally eat you alive, causing you more suffering that is completely unnecessary.

2) Accept It.

Accepting it doesn’t mean that you’re condoning someone’s bad behavior, forgetting a person you love or that you’re going to put up with a terrible boss. It simply means that you’re accepting the situation at face value. It is what it is.

Look at the situation as if you are an outside reporter documenting the story. See the facts, not the drama in your head. Observe what is happening and don’t resist it. Don’t analyze it, don’t over think it and don’t FIGHT IT. Just accept it. No judgments.

3) Release it.

Releasing isn’t necessarily about forgetting or putting something behind you. It’s about releasing your grip and need to control the situation. You’ve faced it and you’ve accepted it… now it’s time to release all resistance, all desire for any particular outcome and begin to trust in the universe, God or whatever higher power that suits you.

Everything DOES happen for a reason. We can’t always see it in the moment, but you know that this is true and that one day you will understand the value in what’s happening to you now. There’s a reason that people say this so often, because they too have experienced a pain like yours and they have made it through to see the value or gift in the situation, just as you will.

Bad jobs help us find amazing jobs. Old relationships allow us to grow into the person we need to be and prepare us for the right relationships. Illness or death can bring clarity, deeper connection and gratitude.

It doesn’t make it any less painful to experience it, but you have to trust that it is for a reason and that you WILL be okay. You will grow, you will recover, you will find peace.

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” – Marilyn Monroe

Take Action Now

If you’re experiencing pain on any level, I want you to take a good look at the level of resistance that you may be creating. Where do you need to face your problems head on? Where do you need to accept them? And where do you need to release?

Psssst! I’m getting ready to launch my program Foundations for Unshakable Joy, on February 7th, 2012. This is the EXACT foundational process that took me from a stressed and depressed mess, to happy, fulfilled and living a life built around my passions and purpose! It will help you not only determine what it is you really want out of life, but what steps you need to take to get there, FAST.

Subscribe to my list below and receive a special offer when it launches! :)

The Four Things You MUST be Doing to Build a Life Around Your Passion

If you’re like me, there’s probably something in your life that you’re deeply passionate about. You would love to build your life around this passion, your purpose, or your craft, but you “just can’t.”

After all, you have responsibilities. To your family, maybe even your children or your spouse. Maybe you have a responsibility to that bank that holds your car loan. You can’t just give your whole life two weeks notice and start living your dream tomorrow. Besides, what would people think?!

So you continue to work at that job that pays well… you socialize with the people in your life… you do the things that everyone else is doing. You figure that you’ll create a life around your passions, later. When the bills are paid and the timing is right.

But you’re not happy, because you want MORE. You want a life that’s centered around the things that light you up. A life surrounded by people that you connect with on a deep level. Where you’re doing things that nurture your soul. You want to be GREAT and live an AMAZING life filled with joy, passion and fulfillment. And you also know that you shouldn’t have to wait for the time “to be right.”

So what’s a gal to do?

How to Build a Life Around Your Passion

Commit, 100% to Becoming The Person You’re Meant to Be

The MOST IMPORTANT thing that you can do is commit 100% to becoming the person that you’re meant to be, living the life you so deeply desire to live. This means more than just saying, “I want this.” It means that you will go after this dream of yours with every ounce of energy that you have!

It means structuring your life in a way that can only support your success. You may have to work at a job you don’t like in an unrelated industry, that’s okay. If you’re ready to commit to making your dream a reality, then find a job that allows you to be done at the end of the day. Don’t look for the competitive position with room for growth, look for something that pays and lets you leave when the day is over.

Committing 100% means you don’t waste time sitting on the couch watching hours of MINDLESS television. It means you’re reading, practicing, applying, writing or DOING SOMETHING that moves you closer to your goal. It’s all about hustle baby!

Yes, take breaks, care for yourself, but COMMIT to making it happen by eliminating anything in your life that does not support your growth, OR making the necessary changes (like with your job) so that it’s more supportive of your dream.

Give Yourself Proper Nourishment: Mind, Body and Soul

In this day, it’s so easy for our mind, body and soul to be completely depleted of any energy, inspiration or joy. Between stressing about the bills, relationship troubles or the never ending stream of online information and entertainment, we’ve lost sight of what’s REALLY IMPORTANT to our success.

Your dream may require that you spend hours online hustling, but your dream also requires that you spend hours nurturing your mind, body and soul. Without your physical and emotional well being, you’re nothing. Literally. Nothing.

Making sure that you move your body, fill your tummy with healthy foods and spend time meditating, writing in your journal, or doing any form of contemplative practice is ESSENTIAL to your success. Without the energy, mental clarity and spiritual strength that these practices give you, you’ll only find yourself more stressed, more lost and more out of sorts than ever before.

It is a PRIORITY to care for yourself.

Write in your journal, take hot baths, drink tea and read a good book, DAILY. Meditate, practice yoga, walk, pray… do whatever it is that brings you peace and clarity, DAILY.

Train and Practice… CONSTANTLY

I don’t think there’s a single great writer, speaker, athlete, artist or other that started out at the top of their game. First, it takes discovering what it is that they’re passionate about… then it takes LEARNING how to do it… and most importantly, it takes PRACTICE! Constant practice is the key to mastering whatever it is that you want to master in your life.

If your dream is to be a world renowned author, you had better be writing EVERY DAY. Reading books, practicing your craft, trying new things and GROWING. You can’t find your voice, hone your skills and blow the minds of this world if you aren’t writing ALL. THE. TIME.

If your dream is to create beautiful art and make a lot of money doing it, you had better be making art AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE. Capturing ideas, filling the inspiration well, trying new techniques, turning sketches into finished pieces… you have to be practicing your craft CONSTANTLY.

If you want to be great, and live an amazing life doing what you love, you can NOT overlook the parts that require you to work HARD at being the best that you can. People that are the making a living doing what they love, they know how important it is to constantly learn, grow, try new things, fail, and try again.

Practice, practice, practice, but also TRAIN. Train with the masters, with your idols and with anyone who can teach you something that you NEED to know. There’s no sense in being prideful… yes, if you wanted to, I know that you could learn whatever it is you need to learn totally on your own. But someone else has already spent YEARS learning what you need to know and can literally teach it to you in a matter of HOURS. Let them teach you. You’ll get there faster.

Surround Yourself With the RIGHT Team

It is so, so, SO important to surround yourself with the right people. If you’re trying to commit to your goals and your dream, but no one in your life cares enough to check in on you or support you, then it’s time to find a new support system.

Find people that are passionate like you are… it doesn’t have to be the same field, and it doesn’t mean these people don’t know how to have fun or talk about other things, the point is that they will support you. They will understand what you’re going through as you push hard, learn, grow and hit unavoidable bumps in the road.

They will cheer you on and keep you motivated when you’ve lost steam. They will remind you to take those necessary breaks, to nurture your soul and to remember the end goal when you feel like giving up.

No matter how strong or independent you may be, you need this support system for when things get hard, because things getting hard is unavoidable. You will hit bumps in the road, obstacles, set backs and emotional breakdowns. You don’t want to be surrounded by people that don’t support your dreams when this happens. You want people who know how much it means to you so that they can remind you of this when you’ve forgotten in the midst of stress.

Take Action Now

Do you have a dream or passion in your life? Have you committed to it 100%? Leave a comment below sharing your passion along with three things you’re going to implement or change in your life to show your commitment to making it happen.

Not sure what you want out of life? I’m getting ready to launch a program that will help you not only determine what it is you really want out of life, but what steps you need to take to get there, fast. Subscribe to my list below and receive a special discount when it launches!

Perform Better, Crush Resistance and Get Sh*t Done (I Tell You HOW!)

Don’t ever say you can’t, because you can. You can always make it happen at the eleventh hour, just before the buzzer or when you’re back’s against the wall.

For most people, pressure is what pushes us through resistance, mental blocks and mediocrity. This is normal human behavior… but it also means that you CAN do better. You CAN gain control over your time management, stress levels, perceived obstacles and excuses.

Or as most people like to call them, “reasons.”

You are capable because you make it happen when you have to. So to do better on a day-to-day basis, it’s simply a matter or learning how to make it happen when you WANT it to.

Perform Better, Crush Resistance and Get Sh*t Done

Create Pressure On Your Own

If you really want to do better, then find someone who’s willing to hold you accountable. This could be a colleague, a good friend, a family member or a life/business coach. The only requirement is that they’re capable of understanding how important their role is in this setup. It can’t be a, “maybe we should do it because it’ll help” type mentality. They have to take their accountability role seriously.

Once you’ve found the right person for the job, tell them what it is that you need/want to accomplish and by when! Once you know the deadline, work backwards and set accountability date. It’s important to clearly state what you plan to accomplish.

For example, if you want to write a book, how many pages or chapters will be completed, and by when? If you want to lose weight, how many pounds will you lose by each check in? If you want to save money, how much will you have set aside each time that you talk? Your mini-goals should ensure that you’ll reach your target by the final date.

If you don’t meet the targets that you set, your accountability partner should help you determine what went wrong and where adjustments should be made to get you back on track.

You don’t have to do this alone!

Another great way to set pressure? Announce your deadlines and what you’re doing to the world. Share it in an email to friends and family, spread the word on social media and shout it from the rooftops! Once you put that intention out there for others to see, it automatically creates pressure to come through.

Build In Systems, Structure and Motivation to Bypass Resistance

What gets you in the zone when you finally do get crackin’? What inspires you to do work when you otherwise wouldn’t bother? What pumps you up and gets you excited about a project or challenge?

All of these little things that you think nothing of, these are essential triggers to improving your productivity and focus so that you meet your personal and professional goals.

If watching something gets you pumped up, create a folder or tab on your browser for these types of videos. If certain songs get you in the right zone, create a play list on your iPod or computer. If pictures or quotes motivate you, create a mini vision board and hang it about your desk where you’ll see it.

If you notice that going for a drive or a walk gets your inspiration and juices flowing, then build that into your work routine. If putting on your swimsuit makes you antsy to workout, then put that bad boy on, stand in the mirror and then lace up your tennis shoes!

Stop Making Excuses

Everyone has “reasons” why they can’t get things done or they miss a deadline or goal.

They’re all excuses and they need to stop.

Just because your friends eat unhealthy and will makes comments if you get a salad, isn’t a good reason to eat unhealthy. Just because your neighbor was making a lot of noise, isn’t a good reason for you to slack off on your work or reading. They’re excuses, no matter which way you try to swing them.

Knock it off and start looking for SOLUTIONS. You’re in control here, remember?

Remove “Can’t” From Your Vocabulary

Can’t rarely ever means that you really, physically can not do something. Usually it’s code for, “I don’t want to.” Or, “It’s too much work.”

From this point forward, I forbid you to use can’t when you speak about your goals or the things that you need and want to get done. If you “can’t focus because of the noise,” reframe that thought to, “I could focus better if I went downstairs or to the library.” When you eliminate the possibility of can’t from coming out of your mouth, you’re suddenly presented with all the possible solutions to your perceived road block.

Commit to Doing Better

Fully and completely commit to DOING BETTER. To working harder, figuring out what makes you move and what holds you back, and making ADJUSTMENTS as needed. Commit to being proactive, taking responsibility and eliminating excuses.

If you’re not mentally committed to making changes, things will always stay the same.

“If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you always got.” Mark Twain

Take Action Now!

Leave a comment and out yourself on a goal or commitment that you want to make. Get specific on what you’ll achieve and by when. Have an excuse reason that you want to share? Leave it in the comments and I’ll show you some solutions.

If you enjoyed this post and don’t want to miss another, subscribe to my mailing list now!

Permission to be Ungrateful

As we begin to approach the holiday season, there are a lot of messages about gratitude, giving thanks and showing appreciation popping up all over the internet. I feel like there’s enough quality conversation happening on this topic already, so I want to talk about the perks of being UNGRATEFUL.

I want to preface this by saying gratitude is a practice that has absolutely transformed my life. From verbally expressing “thank you” to the Universe (yes, OUT LOUD), loving and appreciating those close to me and learning how to live in the present moment so that I don’t take a single thing for granted… gratitude is a practice that has enriched my experiences, allowed me to feel JOYFUL and taught me to truly appreciate what I have NOW.

But the practice of being “ungrateful” for certain things in my life? That my friends, has been the most enormous catalyst for positive change in my life. I would not be where I am today, sharing my heart with YOU, doing work that I absolutely LOVE, if I had not allowed myself to be “ungrateful” in the past.

Why Being “Ungrateful” Rocks

Six years ago I ended a long term relationship with my high school sweetheart, months after leaving an incredible, well paying job. I distinctly remember an email sent to me by my “freshly exed” boyfriend telling me that I was ungrateful. That I was “too busy complaining” about everyone and everything to appreciate what I had. I can completely understand this perspective of the situation.

When someone who seems to have everything, or even just SOMETHING, it’s “not okay” to be unhappy.

At least you have a job.

At least he doesn’t hit you.

At least you’re not living in some third world country with no access to clean water.

YES, being GRATEFUL that you are able to have a problem like “just” hating your job, or being in a relationship that “just” doesn’t serve you, that’s a mindset shift that will single handily change your view of the world and your ability to appreciate what you have.

But it’s also completely possible to appreciate the fact that you have a job and still hate it. To still feel drained and miserable at the end of each day. To feel so out of place among your co-workers that going to work each day makes you physically nauseated.

It’s possible to appreciate that you’re with a really GREAT guy, but still feel empty and alone within the relationship. To have no passion, no connection and nothing to talk about.

Recognizing that you’re not happy, that your relationship or job doesn’t serve you on some fundamental level, that’s often perceived as being “ungrateful” by those that can’t put themselves in your shoes.

To hell with it. Be ungrateful. HONOR yourself and do what’s best for YOU.

Someone who can’t be proud of you for recognizing that something isn’t working for YOU in YOUR life, and support you in making the necessary changes to feel joy, they’re probably the type of person who only has their best interest in mind anyways. So why care what they think?

Permission to be Ungrateful

When you’ve mastered the art of appreciating what you have for what it is, but you’re still deeply discontent with the situation… you have permission to be “ungrateful.”

You have permission to dislike your job.
You have permission to leave it, despite the great pay or projects.
Despite the fact that your friends and family can’t believe you would.

You have permission to end your relationship.
You are not obligated to stay with a great guy who isn’t right for you. Despite the fact that you love each other, that he’s trying his best to make you happy or that everyone thinks you’re a perfect fit.

You have permission to want MORE out of life.
Despite having more than other people or having things they really wish they had.
You have permission to want more than “good enough.”
To dream larger and take the necessary steps to live a bigger and bolder life.

You have permission to HONOR your needs and desires.
No one else knows what your life is like. No one else can understand.
Stop expecting them to. Rid your life of toxic, unsupportive people. Honor yourself.

Being “Ungrateful” Means You’re AWAKE
to the Reality of YOUR Situation

Feeling discontent, miserable or “ungrateful,” despite knowing that you’re lucky or blessed… there’s nothing wrong with it! In fact, you should be thrilled that your inner guidance system, your inution, KNOWS that you’re not living the life you’re meant to live.

This is GOOD NEWS.

It means that you’re awake enough to realize that something in your life isn’t serving you. Isn’t fulfilling or the right fit for YOU. And once you know this, once you recognize these feelings and honor your “ungratefulness,” you are instantly empowering yourself to make the necessary changes.

Never let someone else tell you that honoring your intuition and gut to leave a situation they deem to be “just fine” means you’re ungrateful. Be grateful that you at least have a job, that he’s at least not hitting you and that you have access to clean water… but take action to make changes anyways. You deserve JOY, PASSION, LOVE and FULFILLMENT. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.

Take Action Now!

Consider the following questions and leave a comment with your thoughts:

Where are you not being honest with yourself about what’s not working for fear of being “ungrateful?” What steps can you take this week to make the necessary changes in your life?

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The Number One Way People Screw Up Life… Are You Making This Mistake?

That got your attention, didn’t it?

And what is the number one way that people screw up life? By taking it for granted. Assuming there will be time to fix things, find the right person, make the changes you should and be happy… later.

Think about the last time you lost someone close to you. It could be that they passed away, maybe it was a friendship that suddenly went south, or possibly a relationship that ended abruptly.

If you’d have known that it was the last hug, kiss or conversation, would you have made more of an effort? Would you have listened deeply, while appreciating the sound of their voice? Would you have given them a real kiss, not just the hurried, routine version? Would you have said “I love you” with every fiber of your being?

We never know when our last moments, kisses and conversations with the ones we love are going to be. Yet we chose to ignore this truth and take the people and things in our lives for granted.

We put them off, prioritize other things that aren’t actually more important… and we certainly don’t show up in each moment with those people and things (jobs, experiences, life) with the attention, present-minded focus and care that we should.

We’re All Human

And that means that this is a natural state of being. We fear death, goodbyes and loss… so we don’t keep that top of mind. We assume that it will be down the road, we’ll deal with it then. We’ll get better and more focused later. It’s okay to put these things off for just a bit longer, there’s always the weekend.

Except that sometimes there’s not.

Sometimes tomorrow really never comes and life really does change in an instant.

Live With a Sense of Urgency

Choose to be more than “just human” and live with a heightened sense of urgency. Not in the sense that “there aren’t enough hours in the day” or that you have way too many things on your to-do list. You probably do, but that’s not my point…

My point is that there’s value in living your life constantly aware of and accepting the fact that one day, it will end. Whether that’s a break up, loss of life or time running out… all things must come to an end. Don’t allow yourself to be one of those people that kicks themselves for having wasting precious moments. Rise above the human condition…

Do better. Love deeper. Experience more. Be PRESENT.

Say I love you like you really, truly mean it.

We throw around “I love you” in relationships like we say hello and goodbye. We just do it because we should. Sure, we love them… but do we take that pause before speaking to really FEEL and EXPRESS it? No. We just pop the words out with a standard kiss on the way out the door.

We aren’t present in those moments. We don’t give them the love they deserve. We don’t give OURSELVES the love that WE deserve. And this goes for more interactions than just the “I love yous” that you’re throwing around mindlessly.

Do better. Love deeper.

Make REAL memories with the ones you love.

Life is busy and sometimes it’s hard to make time for the important things. The anniversaries, the birthdays… the seemingly unimportant moments of moving into a new home together or that first big promotion at work. We say that we’ll celebrate later or assume that it’s not a priority. But what will you have when you look back at your time here? A lot of missed opportunities to experience life to its fullest?

Make LIFE a celebration. We’re only here once, that we’ll know of, so live it like you mean it! Live it fully. Show up to each moment, truly experience it and create real memories.

Don’t just go to the park, have a picnic. Make it a full day, take pictures and be present for it. Work and expectations will be there when you get back either way, better to leave them behind and really show up in the moments that count.

Never, ever settle for less that you want or deserve.

Even if you get to live a long one, life is short. Time flies. Everyone says it and you know it’s true. Why waste it with people, jobs or things that are less than you deserve? Less than you want?

If you want a love that is deep, passionate and life-altering, then don’t spend another minute with someone that you don’t connect with deeply. If you want a job that allows you to do great things, leave your mark and feel fulfilled at the end of each day, don’t settle for any old job that will cover the bills.

Don’t stay with people or in a job because you feel like it’s the best you’ll get… or that “it’ll do.” You can do better if you feel like “it’ll do.” WAY. BETTER. You can have extraordinary, passionate, deep, mind-blowing, colorful, lively, EXCITING, romantic and so much more. You just have to stop settling.

If you feel the slightest twinge of “meh” or “this’ll do,” RUN IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. You can waste YEARS of your life at the wrong job, with the wrong person or in the wrong city.

I’m not saying you have to make huge, life altering changes RIGHTTHISMINUTE. But change things. Put the plans into place to move your life from “it’ll do” to extraordinary. You deserve it.

Just be you.

Don’t waste time trying to fit in, live up to your family’s expectations or be the perfect [fill in the blank]. Just be you. Be messy, moody, opinionated, passionate, eccentric, wild and picky. Don’t eat what you don’t like, don’t go to movies you hate, don’t do things just because everyone else wants to…

Don’t give a single thought to what other people think of you. It doesn’t mean be insensitive, destructive or mean, it means stop caring if everyone likes you. Stop worrying that you’re embarrassing your mother or that the others will think you’re lame. It’s who you are. They can take it or leave it.

There’s no sense in wasting time pretending to be someone you’re not so that you’ll fit in with the people you don’t belong with. Life is short, spend it with people who love and appreciate the REAL you.

Take Action Now!

You deserve better. You deserve a life that has deep connections, meaning, memories, love and happiness. Take a moment to assess your life…

1. Where are you not showing up? Where can you do better and stop taking people and things for granted? Where you can you be more fully yourself?
2. If you only had a year to live, how would you want to spend it? When you have that answer, share with me one step you’re going to take this week to make that dream a reality.

Need help? Let me know what you’re struggling with and we’ll figure it out together.

Step Into Your Power (and Hold On Because You’re in for One AMAZING Ride!)

In the past month or so, I’ve noticed a huge shift in my energy, productivity, joy levels and inspiration. It’s been AMAZING, but I was never quite clear what the source was. I thought that maybe it stemmed from something that happened during my Mexico retreat… maybe it was just that the final retreat solidified the many things I’d learned over the past 10 months of masterminding. Or maybe it was just “something in the air” that caused the somewhat sudden changes, who knew.

After getting on stage at Rich Happy and Hot Live and sharing the unbelievable shift with the crowd and my mastermind ladies, I found myself outside chatting with the brilliant Cathy Collautt. Cathy is a fellow mastermind participant and an amazing Metaphysician and Manifesting Consultant that I’ve had the pleasure of working with. I shared with her the changes I’d made in my life and in my business as we caught up… and she said to me, “Doesn’t it feel good to stand in your power?” YES.

It was in that moment that I realized where the shift had originated. At one point while in Mexico, I was having a Skype chat with my boyfriend and business partner. After an inspiring morning, I had made the decision to take charge, promote my intuition to CEO and MAKE. THINGS. HAPPEN. No more, “this is what we should do.” We were doing it. Case closed.

I remember distinctly, in that moment, a rush of energy I had never felt before. I was ready to conquer the world! The decision to stand in my power, trust my intuition and take charge of my life is what prompted me to have THE MOST productive, joy-filled, energetic month of my life.

The best part? This is not a temporary shift! It’s permanent so long as I CHOOSE to continue standing in my power. Are you ready to stand in your power and experience the amazing shifts that I have?

Stand In YOUR Power Using These Three Steps

1) Trust Your Intuition

It is so, SO important to trust your intuition! Yes, there are definitely times when logic plays an important role in decision making, but if you have a strong “feeling” or “pull” in a certain direction, TRUST IT. I know you’ve had experiences where you felt strongly about something, but chose to ignore it. What happened? I’d bet a lot of money that things went awry just as you’d anticipated.

Making the decision to put your intuition in charge will eliminated projects and people that don’t belong in your life (and cause you stress), prompt your inspiration to start flowing (you’ll receive genius downloads), direct you to the RIGHT events and experiences, and allow you to easily remove any unnecessary distractions from your life. As I’ve shared before, it takes time to cultivate a strong relationship with your intuition, so you have to start working on it daily.

2) OWN IT: Who You Are, What You Believe and Your Expertise

Just be you. Speak your mind, share your work proudly, dress how you want. Do the things that you believe in and WANT to do, despite what others believe and think you should be doing. Build your life the way you want it, with the people you want in it and the experiences you want to have. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. You have a passion, a purpose and your own personal area of expertise.

OWN IT! Be proud of it, whatever “it” is!

Don’t be less than you are because the people in your life feel uncomfortable. Just be you. The wrong people will fall away, and the right ones WILL appear, that I can promise you. This is your life and you were put here for a very specific purpose, own that.

Love yourself as you are and be the person you were created to be!

3) Take Responsibility!!!

Everything that’s manifested in your life is a result of the choices you’ve made, boundaries you’ve set or neglected to set, your mindset and the ACTIONS you have or haven’t taken. If things aren’t going the way you’d hoped, there’s a good chance that you’ve been ignoring your intuition, catering to others in your life and NOT owning your power and expertise!

Take responsibility for what’s shown up in your life. This is the most important step to creating a life filled with PASSION, JOY and PURPOSE! Do you want to feel fulfilled? Unshakable joy? Inspired? Then you have learn what it means to take FULL responsibility.

If you haven’t already, download my free guide, The Unexpected Trick To Transforming Your Life with ONE Single Question now for a powerful exercise in taking ownership.

Once you’ve completed the exercise, you’re going to have a CRYSTAL CLEAR picture of where you’re not taking responsibility in your life and you’ll know EXACTLY what you need to do to make positive changes. Taking responsibility in itself is SO POWERFUL! And it’s not about blame or coming down on yourself. Taking responsibility is freeing! You know what you’ve been doing to cause negativity, depression, unfulfillment and chaos in your life, you now know what you need to do to change it.

Take Action Now!

In the comments below, share one experience where you chose to not trust your intuition or own your expertise. How did that experience make you feel? What went wrong? Then take responsibility! Tell me one way you’re going to keep an experience like that from happening again.

Need help? Share your experience below and we’ll figure it out together. xo

PS – THANK YOU to those that sent responses to my questions from a couple of weeks ago. I’ve loved reading your responses and I already have some blog posts written that address your biggest issues. To those that haven’t, send me an email! Let me know your biggest pain points in life and how I can best support you through my work.

How to Get the Most Out of Your Life Through the Principles of PLEASURE (Ooooh, yeah)!

While at Rich Happy and Hot Live in New York, I had the *pleasure* of being introduced to the magical Mama Gena. I’d heard of Mama Gena before. In fact, I’d even downloaded a copy of her book, Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts, to my Kindle the week before… but I had no idea what I was in for!

Mama Gena entered the room on the shoulders of two, what I assumed to be, male models. They carried her right up to the stage, did a little sexy dance and each gave her a juicy kiss before she introduced herself (after putting on some more lip gloss, of course). Pretty awesome entrance, right?

{ Photo Credit }

Mama Gena exudes a level of confidence in her femininity that I have never experienced before. She has trained women of all ages to “use the power of pleasure to have their way with the world.”

Pleasure sounds naughty, doesn’t it?

When you take a look at the lives that we lead today, filled with deadlines, pressure, stress, competition and technology, it’s no wonder that pleasure sounds like something taboo.  Something you only “do” behind closed doors… when everything else has been handled.

Pleasure is about choosing to infuse all aspects of your life with fun, owning your beauty and sensuality as a woman, reinventing yourself, flirting, being playful and inviting abundance into your life!

Mama Gena’s entrance at Rich Happy and Hot Live is a perfect example of these principles. Instead of just walking on stage when cued, giving a little wave to the crowd and then diving into her presentation, she made a party out of it! She was CARRIED IN on the shoulders of two men… danced her heart out and looked like she had waaaaay more fun than any other speaker!

You want to live an extraordinary life? It’s as simple as putting these principles into action.

Three Ways to Infuse Your Life With Pleasure

1. Turn every outing into a special occassion.

Dress up, put on some lipstick and do your hair. I don’t care if you’re running some errands or heading out on a date, make it special! Dress your best so that YOU feel amazing. It’s especially important to do this when you’re feeling frumpy or depressed. Going all out and getting dolled up can instantly elevate your mood. You’ll feel and look amazing and that energy will enhance whatever it is that you’re doing.

2. “Love the F* out of yourself during these brief days on the planet.”

A quote straight from the queen of pleasure herself. Life is short! We all know this, yet we still choose to ignore it. You don’t always get a second chance and things really do change in an instant. Make the most out of your days and LOVE THE F* OUT OF YOURSELF! Treat yourself like the amazing, loveable, deserving beauty that you are. You DESERVE IT. You deserve that massage…the hot bubble bath at the end of EACH work day, that dark chocolate and glass of wine. You deserve time off to read, or maybe work on that neglected hobby of yours. You deserve to eat dinner on the good plates every night in your best dress with your favorite music playing over candlelight.

Can you imagine? Living each day doing the things that you enjoy most? The things that you desire and crave, yet constantly withhold from yourself? There doesn’t need to be an occassion (see #1) other than you just WANT TO.

3. Make every moment as joyful as you can.

Instead of looking at your commute to work with dread, look at it as YOUR time! Can you get a book on tape that you’ve been dying to devour? What about savoring some dark chocolate delight on the way home, listening to your favorite songs and some lavendar aromatherapy? Sound silly? Of course it does, because none of us take the time to CREATE that level of joy in our lives. We expect that most things will be painful and so many moments in our daily lives are wasted on stress and frustration.

It doesn’t have to be this way! An extraordinary, joyful life is within your control!

Take Action NOW!

I want you to list out all of the painful moments in your life. Is it your commute? Workouts at the gym? Sitting at your cubicle? Once you have a list of those moments, brainstorm three ways you could make each moment more pleasurable! Share your ideas in the comments below, or let me know where you’re struggling so I can help!

Reflection + Unshakable Joy, Passion and Inspiration (I Want YOU to Have it Too!)

October has been a month full of reflection for me. I feel as if a season of my life is coming to a close and I’m filled with so much gratitude for everything I’ve experienced.

Three years ago…

My boyfriend and I boarded a plane for Hawaii. We wanted to be near the water and were ready to start our own design business. So we sold all our things, stored the items we couldn’t live without, gave notice at our jobs and made the leap.

This month, we’re celebrating three years of being in business. It’s been quite the journey, with many ups and downs, obstacles, overdrawn bank accounts and a good bit of tears! But three years later? I’m proud to say that our little business is really beginning to thrive. We’ve just launched a brand new website and are refocusing our business model to better serve our clients and target audience.

One year ago…

I entered a contest on Marie Forleo’s site. While I didn’t win the grand prize, I did win a free ticket to her amazing Rich Happy and Hot Live event in New York. I had no money, but the universe (and my amazing family) conspired to support me. That weekend changed my life. Not only did the event feed my soul, give me the tools I needed to grow my business and connect me to some amazing friends, it was the catalyst for me to join Marie’s year long mastermind program.

For the last 10 months, I’ve been traveling to different parts of the country (and mexico!) to mastermind with 20 other passionate, supportive and intelligent female entrepreneurs.

I spent this past weekend in New York with my best friend and my mastermind ladies for my second Rich Happy and Hot Live experience. What a difference a year filled with travel, personal transformation, coaching and the support of like-minded ladies can make.

I sat on stage this year and shared my experience. This alone is a huge indicator of the personal growth I’ve experienced. The fact that I was calm, steady and present is phenomenal! I spoke to an audience of 300 people and shared the following (in so many words):

So many times in my life I’ve thought to myself, “I’m not built to be a happy person.” That life would always be a struggle and I would always be dealing with some level of depression. After this past year, and primarily in the past month, I’ve experienced a huge shift. I have never, in my entire life, felt so SOLID in myself. I feel so much joy, inspiration and passion bubbling up from deep inside of me, something I never thought I would experience. And I’ve had obstacles. I’ve had upsets… but I feel absolutely unshakable.

So, what does this have to do with you?

I’ve learned so much in the past year, personally and professionally… this unshakable joy, the clarity, passion and inspiration I’m experiencing, and the ability to be so SOLID in who I am and what I’m doing in this world, I want you to have this too.

Better yet, I KNOW you can have this and I have the tools to help.

I’m in the process of developing some amazing products and programs for 2012 and I need your help. In order for me to create the best solution for you, and to continue providing you with free, transformational content on this site, I need you to answer a few quick questions:

1) What are the three biggest pain points in your life? Is it your romantic relationship? A lack of support in your life? An unfulfilling career? No sense of direction? Please share as much detail as possible so that I can create the best content for YOU.

2) What kind of products or programs would you love to see me create and why? If I could provide you with the absolute ideal solution, what would it look like? What would it include and cost? Don’t limit yourself here… Would it involve coaching? For how long? What methods would you love content to be delivered? ANYTHING is possible, and I want to know how I can BEST serve YOU.

3) What are your burning issues or questions? I would love for you to send me any questions or problems that you’re struggling with so that I can address them here on my blog. Send as many as you’d like (they can be about anything in your life that you need support with)!

Share your answers with me now…

You can leave a comment or fill out the form below to send me a private message. Your answers are kept completely confidential. I truly value your input and I am excited to provide you with the joy, passion and fulfillment that I’m now experiencing in my life.

And stay tuned!

I have LOADS of inspiration, insights and tools to share with you from Rich Happy and Hot Live in New York. If you’re not subscribed to my list, please do so now so that you don’t miss a thing! xo

Slow Your Roll (The Power of Stepping Back)

Before my mastermind retreat a couple weeks ago I was feeling very tired.

Physically exhausted, mentally drained and tired of pushing, almost desperately, towards some personal and professional goals. I’d hit a real wall and there had been little to no synchonistic events in my life causing everything to suddenly seem impossible. Ever been there?

So what happened?

When you’re pushing way too hard, you’re bound to hit this wall. The urgency of getting somewhere RIGHT NOW will leave you stressed, drained and frustrated. Being in this sort of mental state leaves you tired and majorly unproductive, only further fueling the cycle.

Even worse, you’re essentially telling the universe that you don’t trust it to support you, manifest your desires and bring the appropriate opportunities your way.

You stop the flow, putting more pressure on yourself.

You Have to Slow Down to Reignite the Flow

When I realized what was happening, I made a conscious decision to take a step back. I stopped pushing so hard, put my focus on a few priorities and RELAXED.

Amazing things happened.

An awesome new friend and supporter appeared in my life. Not only is she someone I’d been searching for on a personal level, but she came along with something that I needed. Something I’d been pushing hard to find, only to come up empty handed again and again. This something had become an enormous block for me professionally, and she offered it up with a loving smile and generous heart.

Additionally, I’ve been absolutely bursting at the seams with inspiration and clarity. I’ve found a massively productive groove, fine tuned my self care and work routines and am feeling so much joy. Work has started to pick up, projects that stalled out are moving forward and my goals feel possible again.

How to Reignite the Flow in YOUR Life

First, get honest with yourself.

Are you pushing too hard? Burning yourself out? Frantically trying to make something happen RIGHT THIS MINUTE? Are you stressed? Depressed? Physically and emotionally exhausted?

The first step is acknowledging the pattern. Do this with zero judgment. Simply recognize how you may be pushing too hard and the ways in which it’s effecting your life.

Second, SLOW. DOWN.

Take a step back and stop pushing so hard. I promise this will not make you any less productive than you will be if you keep pushing like you are. If you don’t take some time to relax and trust in the universe, you’re going to run yourself straight into the ground, without accomplishing a single thing.

Take a hot bath, go to the park, play with your cat… call up your mom AND best friend. Order your favorite take out and pop in your favorite movie. Rest, relax, recover. The universe has your back and will be making moves in your favor while you’re taking this time out for yourself.

Third, clearly state your intentions.

Why are you pushing so hard? What is it that you want to create and what do you need to show up in your life to create it? Get clear about your intentions and ask the universe, God or your higher power for support and guidance. Create a vision board, journal about your goals… put it out there.

Lastly, prioritize what’s really important.

Once you’ve placed your order with the universe, use this clarity to set some real priorities. What is important for you to do in order to pave the way for these things to manifest in your life? How can you do this without burning yourself out?

Remember that self care is ALWAYS a top priority. Without taking the time to nurture your body, mind and soul, you’re setting yourself up for burnout! Keep yourself fueled so that when the universe delivers your amazing opportunities, you’re ready and able to see them!

Take Action Now!

In what ways are you pushing too hard and wearing yourself down?

Please share your thoughts, insights and “aha” moments in the comments section below!

The Three Things You Need to Do to Create a Loving and Supportive Community in Your Life

This past weekend I spent three full days with over 20 highly inspirational, wildly creative, loving and supportive women at a gorgeous resort in Playa Mujeres, Mexico. I came here for the final retreat of the 2011 Adventure Mastermind program with Marie Forleo.

The support, coaching and personal transformation I’ve experienced during this program has absolutely changed my life in the most unexpected ways! I’m in awe of the amazing things a person can accomplish in their life, simply by incorporating the right support system.

I want you to have this too, because you deserve it.

Creating a Loving, Inspirational and Supportive Tribe

Identity and surround yourself with the right mentors.

When it comes to selecting a mentor, you have to start by finding those that really align with your beliefs, values and aspirations. Whether you want to create a successful business or find a healthy, loving relationship, there is a perfect mentor for that situation and your personality. Don’t just run out and find the biggest name you can, take your time selecting the people that you want to learn and grow with.

Also, finding a mentor does not mean you have to run out and purchase a program and service. Your chosen mentor may have a book, a blog packed with valuable content, a lively twitter account or some free events that you can attend. It’s more about inviting the right people into your life to guide you and help cultivate growth.

Consider befriending a colleage at a level you aspire to reach. Get to know experienced and respected experts in your area of interest, be it art, business, cooking or singing. Take a class and be the best, most engaged student that you can be.

Create your own mastermind group or personal support tribe.

In addition to having a mentor, you need to form a group of supportive, loving and like-minded individuals. These are more than just friends and family, they’re your personal cheerleaders, sounding board and, most importantly, people who GET what you’re working to create in your life. I can not stress enough how important it is to have others that really understand and value what it is you’re doing.

Start by getting involved in communities and groups that are home to like-minded individuals. Entrepreneur networking events, personal development workshops, mastermind meetup groups… they exist, it’s just a matter of figuring out where the people you need to meet may already be hanging out! If you can’t find one, create it. Meetup.com is one of the best sites for creating a local community around your specific interests.

Clear space in your life for the right support to appear.

If you remember in my post about attracting the right people into your life, I talk about how deterring the wrong people creates the SPACE for the RIGHT people to show up. If you want to attract a supportive and loving tribe, you need to clear out the people that don’t presently support the life you want to create.

Take action now!

Do you presently have a support system, mastermind group, mentor or tribe in your life?

If yes, please leave a comment with your thoughts and insights around having this type of support in place. If not, leave a comment below with what steps you intend to take THIS WEEK to create space for, or invite, the right people to enter your life.

PS - If you have any interest in my Business + Branding Kick-start Package, put down your deposit ASAP! The design business I co-founded, Creative Spark Design, is getting ready to launch a new site with new packages and I will no longer be offering this package after September 30th! It’s an incredible value for such a comprehensive package! Grab your spot NOW!

How to Create a Life Filled with Passion and Joy When You Don’t Know What You Want

After my post, How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself in Order to Create the Life that You WANT, I received the following question in an email from a reader:

I’m having difficulties defining what it is I really want in my life. Any tips?

This is an excellent question and I wanted to expand on my answer in today’s post…

Far too often, it’s assumed that if you’re feeling discontent with your life, the issue isn’t knowing what you want, it’s figuring out how to get from where you are to where you want to be. But, as you may know, this is completely inaccurate! When you’re feeling unfulfilled or suffering through the quarter-life crisis, not only do you not know what you want out of life, you often have no idea where to start!

Not to worry, I’ve got a sure-fire process for discovering what it is you really want…

How to Discover What You Really Want

Start by taking a closer look at what you know you don’t want.

Getting clear on what you know you don’t want in your life is the key to discovering what you DO want. Really acknowledging the things that make you feel unhappy, stressed out, depressed or unfulfilled is the first step. Start by answering the following questions:

• What areas of my life am I unhappy in?
• What do I absolutely know I do not want in my life?
• Who is presently in my life that doesn’t belong?

Dig deep into the heart of what you don’t want.

Let’s say that your career is an area of stress and discontent for you and you know that the job you have now is not something you want in your life… this is good. The next step is to dig deep into the heart of WHY you don’t want it in your life!

• What about this situation causes you stress or unhappiness?
• What would a more ideal situation look like for you?

You don’t have to know the specifics, just a general direction. For example, if you sit behind a desk all day, would you rather be interacting with people in face to face situations? Outdoors? What are you doing with these people? Talking? Collaborating? What specifically about the ideal alternative appeals to you? Why? Be honest and take your time with these questions, being as specific as possible.

Start making decisions based on what will make you happy.

Now that you’re clear on what specifically isn’t working for you in your current situation and clued into what would make you happy, you have to start taking steps in the right direction.

Oftentimes, our true passions and purpose are just around the corner, hidden from sight. You have to start moving in the direction of what makes you feel happy and excited to discover what you really want, because you won’t always know it until you see (or experience) it.

“It isn’t necessary to know exactly how your ideal life will look; you only have to know what feels better and what feels worse… Begin making choices based on what makes you feel freer and happier, rather than on how you think an ideal life should look.” Martha Beck

Take action now!

Determine one area of your life that isn’t working for you and walk through this process. In the comments section below, share what you’ve discovered along with one small action step you’re going to take to start making changes today!

Do you have a question you’d like me to answer? Share it in the comments below or email me!

Revealed: Why You’re Not Where You Thought You’d Be By Now

Do you ever compare yourself to other people your age and feel like you don’t measure up?

Do you look at your life and think you should be “further along“ by now?

Do you know that this kind of thinking is precisely what is holding you back?

Why We Compare (and Why it Sucks)

Because you’re human, it’s natural to formulate opinions based on information you’ve accumulated up until the present moment. Everyone does it… We compare new people to people we know, like, dislike, trust and don’t trust. We compare products to other products, pricing, which store is better to buy from and why. We compare cities we’ve moved to against cities we’ve lived in previously.

It’s natural and necessary in certain situations… but NOT when it comes to your LIFE and who you are.

If you live in a state of constantly comparing your life, relationships, career and self to ANYBODY ELSE, you will never be able to fully appreciate what you have in the present for what it is. You will be stuck seeing what it is not, what it “could be” and, quite frankly, making yourself miserable.

How to Start Living in THIS Moment, As You Are

1) Know that who you are is PERFECT.

You are a unique and beautiful blend of personality, talent, skills and smarts.

When you spend all your time obsessing over how you measure up to the details that make someone else their unique and beautiful self, you fail to see your own beauty and effectively squash the very things that make you amazing. Along with the gifts YOU have to give to the world. Practice appreciating yourself for who you ARE, not who you are in comparison to someone else.

Your laugh is not better or worse than anyone else. It’s simply YOUR laugh. You are not ahead of, or behind, anyone else. You’re simply where you’re at, on YOUR journey. You have not failed, fallen behind or done things the wrong way. You’ve simply done things in your own way, on your own terms.

There is no right or wrong. You have the freedom to live your life however you choose.

2) Start living in the moment and seeing things as they are.

If you find that you’re constantly comparing yourself, you’re not spending enough time in the present moment. Instead, you’re indulging in negative self talk and missing out on your amazing life… the one that’s happening RIGHT NOW. This causes you to miss opportunities and experiences, perpetuating that feeling of being behind, or not where you’re supposed to be.

Engaging in your life, as it is now, knowing that you are PERFECT and exactly where you need to be, is essential to your happiness. When people and opportunities show up, you’ll be able to see them for what they are, without getting distracted by how they measure up to your past experiences, current relationships, fears, opinions or preferences. You’ll be able to do this because you’re present in this moment, seeing what is right in front of  you, completely detached from any negative mind chatter.

Cultivating this ability in your day to day interactions will allow you to turn that non-judgmental, open minded and loving eye on yourself and your own life.

3) Know that your comparisons are usually unfair.

When you compare yourself to someone else, you’re never making a fair comparison. Are you comparing your weaknesses to their strengths? Are you comparing your lifestyle to that of someone with more money or a completely different profession and background? How about this one… are you comparing yourself to someone with a different personality, skill set, passion and style?

The answer to that last one is, yes, you are. And that ALWAYS makes for an unfair comparison because it is impossible to fairly compare any two people that exist in this world.

Take action NOW!

Leave a comment below and share the number one way you’ve been comparing yourself to others, along with a reframed view of the situation. If you’re an artist who feels like your work is nowhere near as good as so-and-so, tell me why your art is unique and beautiful in it’s own right. If you’re not sure how to reframe, leave your comparison in the comments below and I’ll help you out!

As always, I love to hear from you, so please share any thoughts, insights or “aha” moments!

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” Oscar Wilde

How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself in Order to Create the Life that You WANT

When you’re feeling like your life is off track or that you’ve lost sight of who you really are, it can be tough to know where to begin. It can also feel like no matter what you do or try, that you’re always sabotaging yourself or constantly ending up at square one, with no progress to show.

You’re not incapable of making changes, you’re just missing an important piece of the puzzle.

Why you can’t get to where you WANT to be…

This is something I learned from the fabulous Bryan Franklin at Rich Happy Hot Live last year. Brian’s talk was focused around the ecology of self sabotage.

In short, our ecology is the environment supporting our life and is made up of our community, stories about our life and our relationships. Our willpower (the strength to ACT) gets us to where we are now. Because of our ecology, when we attempt to move forward from where we are now to where we want to be… we experience the rubber band effect of constantly snapping back to the now and we assume that we are sabotaging ourselves. In reality, our ecology simply doesn’t support where we WANT to be.

This is awesome news. Why? Because you can change your ecology.

How to create an ecology that supports what you want:

1) Start by creating an ecology that supports the NOW.

You MUST BEGIN by creating an ecology that supports the NOW. When your life now becomes sustainable, supported by those around you and easily maintained without much willpower on your end, you then have the ability to take the next step forward toward where you want to be.

Ask yourself, how do I make NOW sustainable? How can I love and approve of where I’m at? And more importantly, how do I do this in a way that builds the supporting framework for where I want to be?

2) Be mindful of areas that are out of alignment.

If your current life is feeling off course, there’s a good chance that you’re surrounded by people, environments and belief systems that don’t support the life you want to lead. For example, if you’re a lawyer working in a large downtown firm, yet you long to start a small vegan cupcake shop… you’re not likely surrounded by the people who will support, nurture and push you to follow that dream.

Be mindful of these areas and begin to brainstorm ways you can create the needed support. Could you start attending baking classes to meet other like minded individuals? Could you join an entrepreneur mastermind group that provides inspiration, knowledge and collaboration?

3) Start dating yourself!

If your soul longs for more creativity, exciting experiences or a certain passion, slowly infuse more of it into your life by dating yourself. If music is your long forgotten love, start attending free concerts and listening to live music. Buy a new album and listen to it from start to finish. Pick up an instrument and start playing around. Take a cooking class, sign up for a writing workshop, go to an event featuring your idol, listen to a talk by an expert in the field, buy a book on the subject, peruse the isles of your favorite art store…Flirt with it. Get to know it all over again and soon you’ll be alive with passion and enthusiasm, just as you desire.

4) Travel slowly, but deliberately.

You can’t take a plant that thrives year round in Hawaii, move it to Michigan and expect it to survive. That’s just not going to happen. You have to remember that while your current ecology is unsupportive of where you want to be, you can’t simply uproot your entire life and expect to thrive. You have to move slowly, but deliberately in the direction of your dreams.

So tell me, what action will you take to begin building an ecology that supports the now, while moving you in the direction of what you really want?

How to Connect with Your Intuition

Intuition is your ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning. Most people get far too caught up in their thoughts to recognize their intuitive hits and that’s a real shame. You’re intuition is a sense of KNOWING, without any logic to “back it up.” It’s that FEELING that something’s right or wrong, fitting or unfitting, safe or unsafe.

When you’re disconnected from your intuition, it can be near impossible to know what you should do in important situations. Should you move in with the guy you’ve been seeing? Should you take that job offer? Should you go to that event that’s thousands of miles and a hefty plane ticket away?

How can you answer FULLY and COMPLETELY from your heart and soul when you’re too busy weighing the pros and cons or thinking about the how-tos and what-ifs?

Check in with yourself.

Checking in with your intuition is a matter of checking in with your body and energy. What do you feel when a big decision or opportunity is presented to you? Not what you think you feel or think you should feel. What do you PHYSICALLY FEEL?

Is it a sensation of physical resistance? Some tension in your chest and shoulders? A slightly nauseating ball in your stomach? Or is it an open and airy energetic feeling? Do you feel light? Flutters in the heart? Do you feel pulled in one direction or another? Most importantly, did you have an instant response from the depths of your soul that you may have thought your way out of?

The important part of checking in with yourself is to recognize what you feel immediately after something is presented to you. If you take too long to assess your reaction, you’re going to start over thinking it. This is completely natural, but it’s not very helpful when trying to connect with your intuition!

The sensations that you feel in your body will have a direct link to the answer that you’re seeking. If you know the difference between feeling open, light, compelled, drawn towards, etc… and feeling resistance, tension, heaviness, unsettled and physically ill… you’ll be able to extract guidance from checking in with your body and what you’re feeling.

If you’re someone who goes straight into your head, this will take time. Start by pausing when something is presented to you instead of reacting verbally. Pause. Check in with your body. Note what you’re feeling immediately and begin to trust and honor those responses.

How do you know if you really know?

First, it takes trust and true connection to yourself. This will come with time and practice. Be patient and don’t beat yourself up if you can’t always make that connection. I promise that with practice, you’ll find yourself making most decisions with ease and grace, which will lead to greater happiness and synchronicity in your life.

As for really knowing? The old saying rings true: When you know, you know. Simple as that, though it can be frustrating to hear if you’re unsure that what you know!

So let me say this… if you’re questioning whether or not you really know something, you’re over thinking it. Chances are, if you’re not sure if something’s right for you, the answer is probably no, it’s not. Because when something is really, really right for you, you know it with every fiber in your being. Your senses are automatically heightened and the physical response is undeniable. Same with really knowing that something’s not right for you. You KNOW. If you ignore that immediate response and start over thinking and weighing options, you’re just going to confuse yourself.

Take action now…

What’s a decision that’s been weighing on your mind lately? Take a moment to check in with your body and see what it is that you feel in response to this decision. Don’t think about it. Don’t take to much time to check in. Pause. See what you feel and make note of it. Share in the comments below and let me know what insights you’ve gained from this simple exercise!

PS – I’m having a special summer sale! Turn your passion or ideas into a profitable, high-impact business that serves your market and positively impacts the world – in just 6 months – with my Business + Branding Kick-Start Package! This comprehensive package is marked down 25% with only 3 spots available through July 29th. Click here to check it out now!

Four Steps to Determine What’s Missing in Your Life (and What the Heck to Do About It)

Hey there, if you missed last week’s post, check it out here.

We’re talking about that yucky feeling that something’s missing in your life, despite the fact that you have everything you thought you ever wanted. Sound like you? Don’t worry, you’re not alone.

How to Determine What’s “Missing” in Your Life

1) Spend time tracking the specifics of your funky funks and off feelings.

Even if you’re whole life feels off course and out of balance, there will still be trigger points that are unique to you and your own experiences of feeling discontent.

Is it your relationships that don’t quite feel right? Does your job leave you with a nagging feeling of dissatisfaction at the end of the day? When you’re out and about in your town, does it just not feel like the right fit for you? As you’re going through your days, and even weeks, start to keep a log of WHAT you’re feeling and WHEN. The more details, the better.

It’s incredibly important to be able to pinpoint the moments, people and experiences that trigger these feelings. Even if you’re whole life feels like it’s in a funk, you have to start noticing more specific moments that cause that feeling in order to start making positive changes.

2) Dig deep into your triggers in order to gain insight on the real issue.

Let’s say that you’ve been logging for the last couple of weeks and have discovered that your job leaves you feeling drained and dissatisfied. The next step would be to ask yourself, “what about my job leaves me feeling this way?” Is it that the hours are too long and freedom is nonexistent? Your boss is frustrating or demanding? Or is it that the work is not something you love?

Answering these questions and continuing to dig deeper and deeper will help you uncover the TRUE source of discontent for you. It’s not always that you’re completely off track in your life, sometimes it’s a simple as a tweak to your environment or relationships. But without knowing WHAT SPECIFICALLY doesn’t work for you, you’ll never be able to create a better situation.

3) Determine what it would take to feel satisfied.

If you’ve dug deep and uncovered that you’re not satisfied with your job because the hours don’t provide any freedom or flexibility and you’re not doing work that you love… AWESOME. You have officially identified what’s missing in this area of your life! Now we can get into the fun stuff.

What would it take to feel 100% satisfied and absolutely overflowing with joy in this area of your life? What would you need to gain, change or eliminate in order to feel AMAZING?

Again, take some time with this question and be honest with yourself. Set aside any internal or external expectations, such as, “I’ve got to work at this office because my parents will be disappointed if I don’t.” “I can’t quit this job and travel the world performing poetry because I spent 4 years in college.” Etc.

There is no requirement to act on your answers, show them to anyone or have them approved.

Simply dream big and be honest.

4) Rinse and repeat.

Go through this process with all the areas and relationships in your life where you’re feeling as if something is missing. Continue to dig deep, get honest and dream big.

Take Action NOW

As I always say, baby steps. What is something you can do RIGHT NOW to create positive changes and eliminate that feeling that something’s missing (now that you know what it is)? Don’t overwhelm yourself and don’t feel any pressure to change it all today. Just do one thing that will make you feel HAPPY and will help move you one step in a better direction.

Please take a moment to share your insights, “aha” moments and personal experiences in the comments section below! I absolutely LOVE hearing from you. xo

Do You Have Everything You Thought You Ever Wanted, Yet Feel Like Something’s Missing?

Don’t worry, you’re not alone.

If you’ve read my story, you know that I spent a lot of time and energy building a “perfect” life that was not ideal for me. The problem was that I built a life around what I thought I wanted and what made me feel accomplished in the eye’s of others, without staying connected with my own truth.

The TRUTH of the situation was that I got addicted to the thrill of being “ahead.” I’ve always been impatient and highly driven… spending most of high school dreaming about the many businesses I would create, the things I would accomplish and the places I would go. So when I learned that it was possible for me to graduate high school early and get started with life, I was all over it!

The Slippery Slope

While I’m thankful that I’ve never done anything I really didn’t want to do for the sake of impressing others, I did get caught up in the idea of constantly “one-upping” myself. I was also highly motivated by being the first, youngest or “best” in whatever I was doing. It started with graduating high school early and led right into a 3-year Bachelor’s degree program. During school, I was more than eager to get started working and was taking on small freelance clients and internships.

By my last year of school I was working overtime at a busy design firm while working on my final portfolio for graduation, had bought a brand new townhouse with my then boyfriend and was still working with some small freelance clients, always dreaming of starting my own business.

I was rockin’ it. People were proud, things were happening and I was completely lost in it all.

After graduating college, settling into a full-time salaried position and getting all set up in my new house, things started to feel… off. While my job kept me extremely busy and distracted during the day, the time commuting, weekends and evenings (that were no longer filled with homework and freelance clients) left me feeling very antsy and uncomfortable.

I had everything I thought I ever wanted, and yet a part of me still felt like something was missing.

Can you relate?

For me, my whole life felt off course. I lost my ability to express myself creatively. I lost sight of who I really was in my relationship while trying to reduce tension. I spent all my time and energy working towards a profession and career that I mistook as my “calling,” when really it was more of a necessary skill set for larger dreams I’d forgotten.

If you’re feeling unhappy, discontent or like something is missing… this is a very good indicator that you’ve lost your way. While you may not have gotten caught up in something like being “ahead” or impressing others, you could very well have set your truth and DREAMS aside out of necessity.

Maybe you got distracted by someone or something… or maybe you’ve avoided following your heart for fear of failure. Whatever the reason, feeling like something is missing is only the beginning. If you try to “snap out of it” or brush these feelings aside, you’re only going to feel worse as time goes on.

It’s OKAY to feel this way. There’s nothing wrong with not being satisfied with where you’ve ended up, even if you thought it would be your dream life.

Even if everyone else is proud of you, idolizes you or wishes they had what you have.

If it’s not for you, it’s not for you.

How to Determine What’s “Missing” for YOU

For now, I want you to spend some time thinking about WHY you feel off. Is it your relationships that don’t quite feel right? Does your job leave you with a nagging feeling of dissatisfaction at the end of the day? When you’re out and about in your town, does it just not feel like the right fit for you?

Spend the next week listening to your body and what you’re feeling. You may not be able to pinpoint the why, but start taking note of what you feel when you start to feel off or like something’s missing. Where are you? What’s going through your head? What physical sensations do you feel?

Next week I’ll share some surefire ways to find the source of your off-ness and what you can do about it!

Share your thoughts, reactions, insights or “aha” moments in the comments below!
I’d love to here from you. xo

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How to Live a Life That’s Truly AMAZING (Instead of One That’s Just Smoke and Mirrors)

Sometimes when we’re in life scenarios that aren’t ideal, we may find ourselves over-exaggerating the details. Our job is better, relationships and finances are healthier… maybe we’ve seen and experienced more, had amazing adventures or owned things that are totally outside our means. We fluff up our titles, make acquaintances out to be great friends and neglect to mention the REALITY of our life which (along with less “exciting” bits and pieces) includes feelings of doubt, dissatisfaction and lack of fulfillment.

If you can’t get honest with others about the reality of your situation, you’re probably spending a good bit of time avoiding it yourself… and if you’re avoiding the TRUTH about your life, you’re never going to be able to get to where you really want to be (you know… the fluffed up version)!

Know that where you are right now is PERFECT.

There’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with your life right now. You are exactly where you need to be. Learning to love and appreciate your life for what it is, is the first step towards living the life that you dream of. You cannot move from HERE to THERE without this essential first step.

By practicing gratitude, you’ll immediately move from a life that’s lacking to one of abundance. Being okay with where you are now allows you the space and energy to take action towards creating the positive changes you’d like to see.

Action Step ›› Make a gratitude list RIGHT NOW. List out absolutely everything that you feel grateful for in this moment… and I do mean EVERYTHING. If you’re feeling like a lot is lacking in your life right now, get creative! Maybe you’re grateful that your boss at least chews gum before getting in your face every day… or maybe you’re grateful that your pots and pans are still in “like new” condition. It doesn’t matter, just take the time to practice gratitude for what PRESENTLY exists in your life.

Take a good, hard look at what’s REALLY going on.

Think about the parts and pieces of your life that you’re not honestly sharing with others. Is there an area or two in particular that you feel the most shame or avoidance around? Is there a recurring “fluffed up” version that you tend to share? Is it only with specific people or in certain situations that this happens?

Looking at what it is that you fabricate (no matter how large or small) will give you great insight into what you REALLY want to create in your life or what areas are WAY off course from where you want to be.

Action Step ›› Take some time to think about the areas of your life that you might be exaggerating a tiny bit (or a whole lot). Write down the top area or story that you like to tell others that isn’t 100% accurate. Ask yourself why you aren’t being totally honest. Do you feel embarrassed? Are you talking to someone who isn’t very supportive of your life? Are you trying to be something you’re not (yet)?

Start taking action towards making the fluff a REALITY.

Wouldn’t it be way more amazing if you really did have that fluffed up job title? The passionate relationship, crazy adventures and exciting social life? After you’ve taken a look at the real reason behind this habit, you can start taking action towards creating positive changes.

Continue to practice gratitude on a DAILY basis. List out at least five things a day that you’re grateful for and try to take one small and manageable step towards your ideal life each day.

And more importantly, take some pride in where you are today! I’m positive that you’ve accomplished a lot in your life already and you have a lot of amazing things coming your way.

Leave me a comment below and share with me the #1 story (or slightly fluffed up version) that you discovered after reading this post! I would love ot hear your insights.

How to Stop Distracting Yourself in Order to Start Living a Life That You Truly Love

When I first began my journey to become the best, healthiest and happiest me, I spent a TON of time online reading blogs and browsing other people’s sites. While I used the excuse that I was connecting and finding inspiration… I was really just avoiding the reality of my own life.

The reality was that I felt a lot of fear around creating positive changes.

So instead, I read blogs. I dreamed up my perfect life. I imagined what it would be like to have interesting experiences of my own, feel happy, filled with creativity and LIVING A LIFE I LOVED.

And I planned. A LOT. The perfect little Etsy store and what I would create. Business outlines and plans for all my dreams. My future… the things I would do and see… and BE. I would create list after list of goals, prioritized, color coded and perfectly planned out. And if they weren’t perfectly planned out, or maybe I left something of, by golly, I’d start again!

But after I’d spent all day lost online and absorbed in my perfect plans, I would lay down to sleep feeling a deep sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction with my life.

It was a viscous and painful cycle.

If you’ve found yourself doing something similar, here are some tips to help break the cycle!

How to Really Start Living a Life You LOVE

Stop Living Vicariously Through Others

Living vicariously through someone else means you’re wasting your own precious life.

Think about it. If you’re constantly following someone you admire, eagerly awaiting an exciting story from your globe-trotting friend or reading romance novel after romance novel, dreaming of the perfect relationship, you’re NOT LIVING YOUR LIFE.

You’re wasting it in your own head.

Figure Out What it is that INSPIRES You

Instead of living completely absorbed in what someone else is doing, think about what inspires you and how you can take that inspiration and create something similar in your own life.

Do you love your friend’s sense of adventure and the freedom she has to travel the world? Think about how you can create a new and exciting travel experience in your own life. Is there a nearby town you’ve never been to that you can make a day trip out of?

Or maybe you’re an aspiring photographer and spend your days stalking the Flickr accounts of your favorite artists. What is it that you love about their work? What are some things you can do RIGHT NOW to work on creating the skill set you’d need to take those same photos?

Stop Planning. Start Doing.

One of the biggest ways we avoid living our life is by planning it. Planning is a great tool, don’t get me wrong… it’s when you spend all of your time on the plan, the details, the strategy and the vision, and ZERO time BRINGING IT TO LIFE that you run into trouble.

I know that action can feel scary. Especially when you’ve been in dream mode and you’ve spent a lot of time absorbed in the big picture and what it takes to get there. It can seem overwhelming! But like anything, it all begins with a single first step.

What is one thing you can do RIGHT NOW to move yourself in the direction of your dreams? Can you schedule that day trip to the next town? Sign up for a photography class that teaches you that new skill set? Put down the romance novel and get on a dating site or out to a single’s event?

Commit to at LEAST a Week of Disconnecting

Whatever it is that you use to distract yourself from your own life, commit to ONE FULL WEEK without it. No blogs, social media, romance novels, reality TV shows or stalking Flickr accounts.

Once you’ve eliminated your biggest distractions, you’ll be forced to face your life head on! You’ll also find yourself with plenty of space to explore new things, time to get out and live your live and openness for new, amazing things to fill the void!

I want to know, how have you been distracting yourself?

Leave a comment below and share your insights, “aha” moments or other tips and tricks you use to stay totally engaged in your own life! xo

4 Simple Steps for Staying Calm and Collected No Matter What Life Throws at You

I’ve always been a pretty calm individual (just ask my mom about that time I nearly totaled my older sister’s car at 13 years old). Whether it’s having my already enormous workload doubled, having to make sense of a chaotic and disorganized situation or having to call my mom and explain why the police officer wants to talk to her, I’m the type of person that actually gets calmer with more stress.

It pains me to see that this is not the case for most people out there.

If you find yourself thrown into a tailspin every time something goes wrong, feel overwhelmed by life, unable to get a handle on things or just plain frazzled and stressed to the max… you’re in luck. Staying calm, collected and SANE, no matter what happens, is something that you can easily master with time and practice (and these four handy steps).

How to Stay Calm and Collected, No Matter What.

1) Take a time out.

I know it’s not easy when shit hits the fan, your workload triples and everything seems to be falling apart around you, but you MUST. CALM. DOWN. Take a deep breath. Close your eyes and sit in silence. Count backwards from 10. Stop moving. Stop speaking frantically and jumping all over the place. Just pause. You can do it, I promise. Taking a moment to calm yourself down makes all the difference in how you’ll handle (and tackle) the situation at hand.

2) Don’t succumb to negative thought patterns!

I can’t handle this.

This always happens to me.

Everything is awful and life sucks.

You know the thought patterns because they’re your “go to” in these types of situations. If you’re automatically throwing your hands in the air when thing’s start to go awry, you’re never going to get anywhere. Things will never change. You will always be stressed and miserable.

You have to work at changing your thought patterns.

You are 100% equipped and infinitely prepared to handle EVERYTHING that shows up in your life. Why? Because you are 100% responsible for what has happened and therefore, you’re 100% capable of changing things for good. It all begins with changing your reaction.

Repeat after me, “I CAN do this because I’m capable of handling whatever life throws at me.”

3) Get back in the present moment.

Whatever the issue, in order to tackle it you need to get back in the present moment and out of your head. When you’re stuck in your head, you’re going to overthink things, listen to your negative thoughts and fail to move forward in a positive direction.

Breathe. Shut out the negativity. GET PRESENT.

Focus on the task at hand, the first step, the call you have to make or the email you have to send. Do ONE thing at a time and you will instantly eliminate overwhelm. You will also manage to tackle the task with ease and grace and, before you know it, you’ll be on to the next thing.

4) TRUST. Know that everything will be okay.

I know that can be an annoying thing to hear when you’re at your wit’s end and your life feels like it’s falling apart, but you have to trust that everything will be okay. Think about the last time everything seemed to go wrong… are you still here? Still breathing and living your life? Are you, in THIS moment, okay? Yes, you are. And no matter what happens, you will still be okay, life will continue on and things will fall into place exactly as they’re supposed to.

I want to hear from you!

Share your insights, takeaways or “aha!” moments in the comments section below.
And if you have any tips for staying calm and collected, please share them as well!

PS – This post was inspired by both someone near and dear to me struggling with some serious overwhelm and Marie Forleo’s most recent Q&A Tuesday video blog!

Please take a moment to watch her video now!

How to Attract the Right People into Your Life (Hint: This Requires ZERO Effort!)

There was a time in my life when I was hanging out with all the wrong people.

Let me be clear, they were awesome individuals, they just weren’t MY crowd. They didn’t get me, they liked to do all the things I really didn’t care to do and they talked about things I had no interest in.

Hanging around with them made me feel drained, depressed and lonely.

Lonely because I couldn’t make a connection with them around subjects that had meaning to me… Drained because I had to BE SOMEONE ELSE to fit in with who they were and what they wanted to do… Depressed because, well, it sucks to feel like you don’t fit in or like people just don’t GET you.

Am I right?

So how do you attract the RIGHT People into your life?

Are you ready for this? Because it’s some seriously powerful stuff… BE YOURSELF.

100% of the time and 100% REAL.

If you think that you’re being real, but you’re still finding the wrong people showing up in your life, then you need to take a moment to reassess your YOU-ness. If the wrong people are showing up, I’m positive that on some level, you’re putting out an inauthentic version of yourself.

Do you bite your tongue and smile when talking to some people? Do you neglect to mention the things that you really LOVE for fear that you’ll be judged or criticized — or just to fit in? Do you smile and nod when you really want to give someone a piece of your mind? Do you dress differently for different people? Do you have a work mode, friends mode and family mode?

Yes to some, yes to all? These are just a few examples of where an inauthentic version of you may be making an appearance and creating opportunities for the wrong people to settle into your life.

Yes, I know it’s scary to put yourself out there…

And why is this? Because the likelihood of turning people off is far greater and the chance that you’ll alienate someone is completely unavoidable. That’s scary, especially if you’re someone who feels like you need everyone to like you. But the thing is…

By being true to yourself, you will automatically
deter those people who don’t belong in your life.

The people that you offend or alienate, are not YOUR people. They’re not the people that will love and appreciate the uniquely beautiful person that you are. They’re not the people who will support you, understand you, cheer you on and hold your hand when times are tough.

The really awesome side to deterring the wrong people from your life is that you’re creating SPACE for the RIGHT people to show up. There’s no room for the amazingly supportive BFF to show up if you’re wasting time with the wrong crowd. There’s no space for the RIGHT guy to show up if you’re spending too much time trying to impress Joe-Schmo who’s going to ditch you anyways when you finally reveal you’re true self. Better yet, it leads to deeper and more meaningful relationships.

Start being true to you TODAY.

Order the meal that you really want, talk about the things that light you up, wear the clothes that you feel most comfortable in and speak your truth. Start small and be prepared to let the wrong people fall out of your life. Remember, you’re simply creating an enjoyable life of authenticity that will magnetize the RIGHT people with zero effort.

What areas of your life are you attracting the wrong people? In what ways are you being inauthentic? Let me know in the comments section below, I would love to hear your insights!

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Why Feeling Discontent is AWESOME News (and What You Can Do About It)!

‎”It’s often from a sense of discontent, feelings of incompleteness,
or even a twinge of true unhappiness that the seeds of great
accomplishment are sown.” The Universe

This quote arrived in my inbox early this morning and was so fitting. Just last night I was reading through my old blogs… the ones from the days when I posted anonymously, depressingly and with high levels of stress, discontent and with zero sense of direction for my life. Just reading the words that poured out of my heart takes me back to a painful place. But it also makes me smile…

It makes me smile because now, if someone I know talks about being unhappy or feeling lost… I feel a little bit excited. Though I KNOW it does NOT feel that way at the time, feelings of discontent and unfulfillment are simply the starting points for amazing changes in your life.

No, they won’t always be easy, nor will they happen for you overnight… but I can attest to the fact the what’s coming to you is far more spectacular than you could ever possibly imagine for yourself.

Why feeling discontent is a really great sign…

If you’re feeling discontent with something (or someone) in your life… CONGRATS! You’re connected, on some level, with your truth and your deepest desires. While you may not be able to elaborate what they are, you’re connected enough to KNOW that you’re off course. That something isn’t right and that something MUST. CHANGE.

Yes, change is scary and can be painful, but if you want to feel happy, alive and fulfilled, it’s absolutely necessary. The more open you are to seeking out a better path, removing unncessary weight and stress from your life and following your heart, the less painful the process will be.

In fact, it can be a delightful, eye-opening and truly expansive experience that you’ll never forget.

What to do when you feel discontent…

Write, or talk… then write or talk some more.

Yes, I advocate journaling for practically every situation! Handwritten journaling provides a direct link to your deepest thoughts, desires and truths. If you’re feeling unhappy, disatisfied or upset, sit yourself down with pen and paper and get to it.

No thinking allowed. Simply write whatever comes to mind, no matter how petty, random or silly it seems. The more you allow yourself to freely write what comes to mind, the more clarity you’re going to receive on your situation. I promise that if you make writing a daily practice, and something you do every time you feel out of sorts, you’re going to know EXACTLY what it is that’s bothering you and exactly what you need in order to feel better about the situation.

And if you’re going to fight me on this one… TALK.

Talk to the people you trust and the ones that will really hear you out and let you vent. The more you talk about the situation, the more clarity you’re going to receive. But be careful not to let other’s opinions and agenda’s inerfere with your own discovery process!

Be kind to yourself.

Take a bath or a walk, watch your favorite movie in your favorite PJs with your favorite take out… read a good book. Go for a run. Buy yourself something nice. Be KIND to yourself during this process.

You’re not crazy, you’re not ungrateful, you’re not alone and you WILL get through this.

Practice kindness towards yourself with your thoughts, actions and attitude. And do NOT beat yourself up! Clarity and change takes time. Commit to being your own partner and number one supporter or you’re never going to get through this.

Take little steps forward in a better direction.

It might take time for you to really move into a place of happiness, depending on the level of discontent you’re feeling and depending on your personal situation. All minor and major life changes start with one simple step in the right direction.

If you’re not thrilled about your body, try out a new, healthy recipe or go for a short walk. If you’re unhappy in your relationship, have a conversation about what you need. If you can’t stand your job, take a peek at what else is out there or brainstorm ways to make your job more enjoyable.

Change doesn’t happen overnight, but you can create momentum in the right direction AND help yourself feel better by taking one small step at a time.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, trust yourself.

You feel discontent for a reason and this is not something to ignore. Trust yourself no matter what anyone else says or anything your inner critic can think up to deter you from following your heart.

Please take a moment to leave a comment below and share your single biggest insight!

How to Create More Synchronicity, Miracles and, Honest to Goodness, “Luck” in Your Life

I’m surrounded by synchronicity.

What exactly is synchronicity?

syn·chro·nic·i·ty ›› The simultaneous occurrence of events that appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection.

It’s the simple mindset shift or decision that’s followed by an opportunity. A happy coincidence. The perfect person falling into your life. The necessary funding showing up. The first client. The big break.

My most recent experience with this amazing phenomenon goes as follows…

I make the decision to focus my business around my true passion, personal responsibility.

A good friend emails me with an opportunity to enter a guest blogger contest with Brian Tracy.

I leave for an entrepreneur mastermind retreat with some fabulous ladies in New York to discuss my new business focus… and upon landing find an email saying that I’m a finalist in the contest.

I’m pushed in new and necessary ways… I’m exposed to the right crowd… I’m reassured that this is my calling, this is my path… Things literally begin to fall into place in ways I could never have imagined.

I’m not lucky. I’m on the right path.

When you’re being true to yourself and your passions, you’re going to discover that synchronistic events become more and more frequent. They become a part of daily life. People literally SHOW UP. Money literally FLOWS IN. Opportunities, big and small, are ABUNDANT!

I remember the days when it seemed like absolutely nothing went my way.

I was unhappy, unfulfilled and totally lost. It was hit after hit, my stress levels were extremely unhealthy and I cried far more than I smiled.

Since those days, the only thing that’s changed has been my commitment to create a life built around who I am, what my purpose is in this world and what I’m TRULY, UNDENIABLY PASSIONATE ABOUT.

When you feel like these kind of things only happen to lucky people, it simply means you’re living off course. You’re not following your heart, living true to yourself or pursuing the things that mean the most to you. Maybe you’re settling for less than you deserve… or maybe you’re just afraid to embark on the road you feel called to travel. Whatever the reasons, they’re the very things that are blocking miracles in your life (or, if you like, “luck”).

How to Create More Synchronicity,
Miracles and REAL “Luck” in Your Life

Show up and be ready for the miracles that you’re handed!

When I was lost and depressed, life was scary. Now that I’m following my heart, living true to my passions and giving life my all… life is SCARY! It’s always going to be scary. ESPECIALLY when you wander away from the comfortable, settled life that you’re likely living.

But I promise you, it’s SO WORTH IT!

So SHOW UP and BE READY. Keep your eyes open and be ready to say YES the next time something seems to tug at your heart. When you’re given the tiniest of signs that you really should quit that job, go out with that guy, move across the country or do something else that seems terrifying and insane!

So long as you’re being honest and truthful with yourself, you’re going to find that the universe really does shift to support you. It’s not always easy… it takes faith and commitment, but if you want to live a life of abundance, happiness and fulfillment, it’s the only way!

Leave a comment below and share what synchronicity has appeared in your life!

Align Your Life Purpose with Your Business for Greater Impact, Profits and Fulfillment.

I believe in the power of branding on both a personal and professional level. When your life purpose and business focus are aligned, you can create an incredibly high-impact brand that changes the lives of others while bringing you unbelievable levels of fulfillment and happiness.

Sure, you can do good work in a business that isn’t perfectly aligned… but you’re always going to feel like something is missing. You’ll feel drained at the end of the day and you’ll find yourself on a roller coaster of ups and downs, with the downs becoming more prominent. You won’t feel motivated and you won’t feel fulfilled.

When you’re in alignment, not only will you begin to produce GREAT work, but you will find yourself buzzing with raw inspiration and energy around the clock! You will LOVE your clients, marketing your business, creating content and you’ll LOVE diving into each and EVERY work day. Monday will lose all meaning and you’ll find it hard to shut down and not work all day and all night.

How to determine your purpose in life.

1) Get Clear on Your Personal Values

Our personal values clearly define what we consider to be important, meaningful and essential in our lives. If you value integrity, then you don’t believe in telling a lie of any size, you never disregard the law and you believe in being a fair, honorable person. If you value innovation, then you believe in thinking outside of the box, constantly pushing limits and high-level, creative thinking.

You need to be 100% clear on your personal values if you’re going to discover your purpose and successfully align it with your business.

Action Step ›› List out all of the words you feel best represent your personal values. Narrow down this list to 3 – 5 values that are absolutely indisputable and are, in your eyes, essential to the way you live your daily life. Some example words include integrity, timeliness, compassion, creativity, innovation, community, respect, honor, service, etc.

2) Listen to Your Inner Voice

While it does take practice, learning to listen to your inner voice and truth is not impossible. In my experience, your inner voice will speak to you about your purpose or passions in what I like to call simple truths. Simple truths are simple statements that pop into your head over and over, to which you don’t respond with rejection, disbelief or even acknowledgment.

Simple truths will start out as passing thoughts that will make you pause. The longer you ignore these truths, the more frequent they will become! They will begin to tug at your heart and cause you a great deal of distraction as they turn from small to LOUD and nagging.

If you want to find your true purpose in life, you have to learn to listen to those simple truths.

Action Step ›› Make note of the simple truths that have been popping into your head for some time. Remember that these will be things you don’t necessarily argue against or believe at the time they occur. The ones that pull at your heart are usually the most telling.

3) Get REAL and be HONEST!

For just a moment, stop worrying about what everyone else expects of you, what you think you should be doing or what makes the most sense. What do you really, REALLY want to do with your life? What do you feel CALLED to create in the world? When you envision your ideal life, what are you doing? Where are you and who are you with?

This isn’t as easy as it sounds… You may find that your answer continues to change the more you think about it. And that’s AWESOME because the more times you attempt to truthfully answer this question, the closer you’re getting to discovering your true purpose in life.

If the answer to this question doesn’t make every single cell in your body burst with excitement, emotion or intense flutters of fear and KNOWING, then you’re not there yet. And if you don’t REALLY know what it means to feel those things in every single cell of your body, then you most definitely aren’t there yet. Because when you know, YOU KNOW.

Action Step ›› Answer the question, “What do you really, REALLY want to do with your life?” until every cell in your body screams in excitement or you burst into tears of joy and relief (or fear :D). Go. And don’t wimp out on this one, it’s the most important part.

Leave a comment below and share your thoughts on this post!

Living a Healthy, Stress Filled Life

My little cuddlebug cat Max gets easily spooked when he’s sleeping or dozing off. About a week ago, I made the mistake of snuggling with him while we were both still waking up in the morning. He of course got spooked (I probably twitched or something) and he bit my hand pretty dang hard. This resulted in a visit to the doctor a couple days later for some much needed antibiotics.

After the usual “check in” routine of weight, temperature and blood pressure, I was left to stare at the posters on the wall until the Doctor made his way to my room. For the first time in my life, I noticed the blood pressure chart that tells you what’s healthy and what’s not. Having just received an “Oh wow” after taking mine, I was suddenly aware of how GREAT my blood pressure is. And while I hadn’t previously known what the numbers meant, I do know that my numbers have been very close for the last several years (also known as some seriously stressful years of my life).

I’ve always been worried about my stress levels and the damage I might be doing to my body. But the more I thought about my numbers and my stress, the more I realized that I manage it extremely well. Here’s a breakdown of how I keep my stress levels in check, despite having plenty of reasons to have a breakdown at times!

Don’t Let Things Fester

When I’m upset or stressed out about something, I can usually only sit with it for a short period of time. MAYBE a day max, but for the most part, I can’t go but a few hours before processing and extracting it from my body in some way. Here’s how I do that:

Write in My Journal: This is almost always where I start. If I even have a hint of a nagging feeling or frustration around something, I know I need to sit down with my journal and just write. I write what comes to mind and before I know it, clarity around what’s eating at me pours out. One thing I love about morning pages and journals is that everything you write down gets resolved or dealt with in some way during your day.

Email my Bestie: My best friend is the most awesome gal in the world. Almost every morning we write each other a pretty lengthy email about the happenings in our lives… and sometimes, those emails turn into much needed vent sessions. There’s nothing like spilling your feelings, fears, stresses and frustrations to someone you can trust with every word. Someone you can also trust to give you honest feedback about your situation.

Address the Problem Head On: Sometimes people stress me out and other times it’s situations. Once I take the time to process what I’m feeling on paper or with my Bestie, I move on to addressing the problem head on. I talk to the person who is frustrating me. I deal with the project or task that’s causing me stress. I take action towards resolving the situation. I never process these things and then leave it at at that. If you don’t deal with what’s stressing you out, it’s only going to happen again and again.

Cry if You Need to Cry: Sometimes I find myself so overwhelmed with stress that I burst into tears and cry my eyes out. I cry HARD. Deep sobbing, puffy eyes and sometimes I think I might hyperventilate. Just as quickly as it starts, it’s over. And suddenly, the very thing that pushed me over the edge (along with everything else) seems totally manageable. I feel refreshed and capable of moving on with my life.

Do What’s Good for the Soul

There are some days that I’m just too stressed out and overwhelmed to focus. This only causes more stress because I have so much to do and I can’t seem to get anything done. This is when I make it a point to walk away from my to do list and whatever it is I’m working on. I do something that’s good for my soul and will recharge and refresh me so that I’m able to tackle my workload. Some of my favorite things to do include:

Sitting on the Beach: I grab my latest book, my ipod, a snack, my gear and head on down to the nearest beach for some serious sittin’ time. I give myself AT LEAST an hour of just sitting there, soaking up the sun, swimming in the ocean or reading a good book with some great tunes. I don’t check my email and I DON’T think about the work that I bailed on. Taking this kind of break will help me be more productive and efficient when I return.

Thrifting at Goodwill: When your stress is caused by money, I can’t tell you how perfect of a solution Goodwill can be. I love to pick through the clothes rack looking for that OMG-Awesome-99-cent-piece or carefully reading every title on the shelves looking for a new and exciting book to add to my ridiculous collection. I love looking at the random trinkets and junk and letting my inspiration run wild with the fun crafty things I could create! I give myself a budget depending on finances. Sometimes I say $10, most times I say $5. Sometimes I buy nothing. It’s the act of zoning out, getting inspired and just looking at different, interesting things that soothes my soul.

Fresh Air and Sunshine: Whether it’s the beach, taking a hike or just going for a walk, fresh air and sunshine can make an enormous difference on how I’m feeling. When you’re working hard, overwhelmed and out of sorts, getting out into nature is refreshing on so many levels.

Get Over It

You heard me. GET. OVER. IT. I’ve had some pretty crappy things pulled on me in my life and I don’t have one tiny ounce of resentment towards those people. I don’t hold grudges and have no ill-will towards anyone in my life. I certainly don’t always forget, but I absolutely get over it and move on with my life. I can’t tell you what a powerful feeling it is to truly get over something. To not have any of your emotions or energy invested in someone or something negative. There’s no good that can come from grudges and resentment. And besides, these things are ALWAYS in the past and that’s where your associated emotions need to stay.

Move and Nourish Your Body

On top of managing your stress, you need to take great care of your body. For every six minutes you experience a high state of negative stress it takes your immune system six hours to recover. That’s not healthy.

Get in a Great Workout: Run, lift some weights, take a walk or hike, do some yoga. When you’re stress is so high that you can feel it running through your veins, burn it off with a blood pumping workout! Personally, I love to run as it’s the only workout that “clears the stress congestion” that I feel in my chest.

Get Enough Sleep: Stress wears you down and you need to make sure that you’re giving your body the proper amount of sleep that it needs. When I’m stressed, I’ve got to have at least 9 hours of sleep. You better believe that I take it, because if I don’t, I will end up sick and really exhausted.

Eat Healthy, Nourishing Foods: I like to snack when I’m stressed… particularly on chips. Things I can crunch, crunch, crunch! But those chips leave me feeling bleh, which never makes the situation better. When I eat clean and healthy foods, I have more energy, my mood improves and I don’t feel icky on top of feeling stressed.

None of this is to say that living a high-stress life is okay, but the fact is, we all experience stress from time to time. If you’re an entrepreneur, those times can be a lot more frequent and that’s just the nature of the beast. So take some time to think about the things that nourish your soul, relieve the tension and make your body feel it’s best. More importantly, USE THOSE THINGS when you find yourself stressed or overwhelmed.

How do you deal with your stress and overwhelm?

Be the Best, Healthiest and Happiest You™

Resentment = Stop Doing It

When I was in New York, a very wise women named Danielle LaPorte spoke about resentment. She was talking about the things that weaken us, drain us, make us feel less than or not good enough, and most importantly, the things that make us feel resentful. Resentment is toxic.

Last night I found myself in a fit of resentment. I could feel it in every cell of my body and that is a very toxic space to be in. When you can feel those negative thoughts and feelings vibrating through you, you know that’s doing some serious damage to your physical and emotional well being. That’s where illness and chronic disease manifest. Your immune system weakens and your body gets some serious wear and tear. Did you know that for every six minutes you experience a high state of negative stress it takes your immune system six hours to recover?

When you find yourself in a situation or experience that fills you with resentment, you need to stop and ask yourself why. Why are you squirming with bitterness? What about the situation is really eating at you and causing your frustration? If you can really sit with your feelings and think about what triggered you, you’re going to find a reason. Maybe it’s a series of events, a situation, a person, a general attitude or tone… maybe it’s that you’re not passionate about what you’re doing or you don’t believe in it. Maybe you hate having to do things without all the details or you dislike the tasks that are required of you.

Whatever the reason, acknowledge it. Be very clear and specific about what makes you feel resentful. And stop doing it.

I realize that this is not always as simple as it sounds. Danielle suggests that you make a list of things to stop doing. Sometimes these things are easy enough… sometimes they’re not. Sometimes they’re tied to your financial stability, like a job or a client. But put things into perspective. Yes, right now, that job or client (or whatever it is for you) might be necessary and feel too important to let go. But in the long run, you’re going to severely deplete your immune system and essentially shorten your life. If that doesn’t bother you, then by all means, continue doing what you’re doing.

But it you’re like me and you recognize that you only get one body and one life that we know of… then you need to make that list and figure out a time frame for when you can stop doing those larger things. Commit to making those changes and just as with anything else, you’ll find that things really start to shift in ways that support that decision.

What is something that you feel resentful about in your life?
What are some things you need to stop doing?

Be the Best, Healthiest and Happiest You™

Commit 100% to Yourself and Your Purpose

A few months ago the financial strain began and I refused to let it shake me. I knew in my heart that I was on the right path and that if I could muster up the strength to push through, despite the stress and chaos around me, everything would fall into place.

And boy has it ever.

I’ve always liked the concept that if you put yourself and your dreams out there, and take consistent action towards them, the universe will shift to support you. Doors will open, answers will appear and your life will become amazing through a glorious stream of synchronistic events.

There will be many small gifts of support. Gifts such as finding the perfect apartment and office space to go with it. Connecting with the right people just as you realize that you need them. Job deposits and payments that begin to arrive as if the universe is rationing them out at just the right times.

But here’s the thing…

The most important gifts are the ones that seem just out of reach. For me, it was the free ticket to an amazing event on the other side of the country – with no airfare or lodging included. This came at a time when I simply had no money for it. But I told myself I had to go and I committed to finding a way. I recognized that this was an important next step on my journey.

Consider it a test. How committed are you to yourself and your purpose? Are you willing to leave your comfort zone, accept/ask for help and do whatever it takes to make the leap to the next level? If you are, I guarantee that what you find when you get there will absolutely blow you away.

Since returning from the event in New York, amazing things have fallen into place for me, especially in the past couple weeks. After being supported in small and meaningful ways, I suddenly found myself presented with the next important step. A huge commitment that will require me to reach further and work harder than I have before. I’ll share more about this another time, but the point of this post is that you have to commit. You have to clearly state what it is that you want to achieve and you have to take action.

Most importantly, you have to stay committed. 100% committed. If you find yourself presented with an opportunity that’s just out of reach, but you know in your heart is something that you have to do, then make it happen. Do whatever it takes, because I promise you the shifts that you will see in your life as a result are far more powerful and fulfilling than the comfort of settling with where you’re at.

Have you committed 100% to your goals and purpose?
What action can you take right now to prove your commitment to success?

Be the Best, Healthiest and Happiest You™

Running into the "Upper Limit"

This week started out amazingly well.

I learned that two of my three awesome tenants have decided to stay in my house for the next two years. We found an extremely eager to learn intern to help out with the load of two businesses and an upscale of our marketing. I got some very exciting news on Wednesday about an awesome opportunity. I talked with my bestie TWICE and had a chance to meet Chris Guillebeau for his Unconventional Book Tour!

And then I woke up Thursday morning to find that our business debit card number had been stolen… which caused a check going into my account to not process, putting it in the negative. A necessary payment for StartupCorner turned out to be a LOT more than expected and was declined due to the loveliness of being overdrawn. My computer is acting up and my car wouldn’t start.

At one point I remember joyfully wondering, what could possibly be next?

Yes, joyfully… because while everything above is stressful, bad timing and just plain frustrating, I immediately thought back to Marie Forleo’s post on having an “upper limit” problem. Basically, we all have an internal set point for how much wealth, success, happiness, etc that we are comfortable experiencing. When we surpass that set point, we begin to find ways and reasons to drop back to the familiar and comfortable life we were living before.

I remember my most recent upper limit experience. I had been very depressed and unhappy with my life and career/business for some time. While working at my “cover the bills” part time job, I began to listen to Jack Canfield, Tony Robbins and read through some very inspiring quotes, articles and books. Through practicing positivity, gratitude and pushing through negative feelings, I found myself bubbling over with happiness. I felt so much love and gratitude in my heart that I wanted to hug others to pass it on… and then one evening my computer didn’t fire up. With my new found positivity in place, it didn’t phase me. But as the days passed, it was clear that the computer was most definitely dead and walking into the Apple store to buy a brand new machine was just not an option. At this point, I allowed myself to fall back into the negative, victim based thoughts that my life sucked and would never get better.

Not this time. I’ve stayed positive and grateful through the past few months of extreme financial strain and I refuse to allow these setbacks to stop me from pushing forward. Instead of frazzling myself further or over thinking the many negative aspects of the day, I shut down my computer and put on my PJs. A few episodes of my favorite shows, a nice nap with the cat and some snuggling on the couch with my love were exactly what the doctor ordered. Treating yourself well and with compassion, while refusing to entertain or succumb to negative thinking, are the most important parts of pushing through an upper limit problem.

Today is a new day and I’m ready to press on!

Have you ever experienced and “upper limit” problem?

Be the Best, Happiest and Healthiest You™

Thoughts on Food and Eating Local

This past Saturday I volunteered with Hands In Helping Out (HIHO) and Ho’oulu ‘Aina.

I learned how taro is harvested… what parts you eat, discard and replant.
I picked wing beans straight off the vines they grow from.
I pulled small carrots from the dirt with my hands.
I cut a big, beautiful squash right off the vine.
I learned about harvesting mint and how to grow your own.
I enjoyed a baby asparagus straight from the plant.
I ate delicious vegan sandwiches and chocolate cupcakes with new friends.

And I had a short discussion about our disconnect from the foods that we eat.

While munching, I talked with a sweet gal who had recently gone vegetarian… being new to the vegan world myself, I asked her what her motivation was for changing how she eats. She said something along the lines of, “Going to the store and buying packaged flesh bothers me. There’s a real disconnect from the animal that I’m eating. If I were to raise my own chickens or catch my own fish, I would feel more comfortable eating it.”

Most of us don’t even think about where our food comes from or how far it had to travel. We don’t think about the actual animal, what that animal was fed (or injected with), where it was kept and what effect it’s life and death has on the pieces of meat that we are putting in our bodies. It’s just bacon… Sausage… Hamburger patties. Just the same as when we see produce in the store… big, brightly colored, genetically-enhanced fruits and vegetables. Where was it grown, what was it enhanced with and how nutritious is it really by the time it reaches your mouth?

I’ve always thought it would be really great to grow my own food since I’m passionate about self sustainability and reducing my carbon footprint. I’ve also been wanting to find a great local farmer’s market that sells all local foods (because yes, I’ve seen non-local fruits and vegetables from the grocery store… marked up). But after seeing the Ho’oulu ‘Aina garden and learning more about the food that I was pulling form the earth with my own two hands, I am even more passionate about gardening, eating locally and supporting the organizations and people that work to create native, sustainable gardens within their communities.

How amazing would it be if every community learned more about native foods, community gardens, self sustainability and the powerful impact of eating local?

Be the Best, Healthiest and Happiest You™

What defines you?

There are so many times that I see people defining their worth as a person based on the things that they own or the titles they hold.

Where you grew up, being a top player in your sport, wearing the latest fashion trend in a size 6, lifting the heaviest weights or having a stylish haircut… these things, and things like them, do not define you. What defines you is who you are and what you stand for.

I used to make a lot of money and have fancy titles such as “Senior Graphic Designer” at established design firms. I drove a brand new car and lived in a new townhouse on the outskirts of Denver. Presently, I do not make very much money and I live in an area which some consider to be the “armpit” of Oahu. But who I am and what I stand for today is far more substantial and meaningful than anything I ever have (or had) before. And even better, I feel far more fulfilled.

There’s nothing wrong with titles or material items as a part of your image, but if you don’t back those with a life of substance, you’re nothing more than a hollow shell. If you remove those things as a part of your self definition, what’s left? You have to be able to define yourself as a person whether you’re a high-level something at a top-place-of-business, a stay at home mom or someone who’s been laid off and has to change careers. Whether you’re a Porsche owner or drive a Geo. Whether you buy from designer labels or from outlets and garage sales. Who are you as a person? What do you believe in and what do you stand for?

For myself, if you remove the car I drive, the place I live or the titles I hold, I will still be a person driven by my passion to make a positive impact in this world. I am not defined by my skills, titles or intelligence, I am defined by what I do with those tools and how I serve the world.

What defines you?

Be the Best, Healthiest and Happiest You™

Making a Positive Impact

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about impact. Making a difference in the lives of others and around the world. If there is only one thing I do in this life, I want to be sure that I impact the world in a positive manner and create a lasting impression on others to do the same.

Between a conversation with another passionate and inspired woman, volunteering this past weekend with our client KAUPA and watching the horrific treatment of dolphins in The Cove documentary, my mind can’t seem to leave this place of wondering where do I start? How do I, one single person, make a difference in all of these areas? Being green, cruelty to animals, pollution of our land and water, homelessness…? The list can go on and on!

I understand the concept of start small. Start with yourself and work outwards, effecting your family, community and country. Vote. Volunteer. Give. I get it… I really do, but I am simply not built for small changes alone. I truly believe that change starts at home and that making these shifts within myself is the most important first step. But then what? Yes, I can go down and clean the streams and streets. I can deliver food to the homeless and read to school kids. I can give my time to coach foster students in college and I can donate money when I’m able. These are good things that I will always do and they do make a difference. But based on who I am and what I wish to create in the world, it’s simply not enough.

My mom once told me a story involving her good friend and fellow nurse. This friend was teaching other nurses that art of caring for people at their bedsides through educational classes. Her mother told her that she needed to be the one at their bedside making the difference, not teaching some class. Her response was something along the lines of, “if I teach 20 nurses how to care for these individuals, I’ve made a much larger impact than I could one bedside at a time.”

Totally my point of view.

I’m too “high level” passionate about making a difference in the world to ever be effective in just one area. There are too many things that I wish to focus on and that makes me unable to commit myself entirely to one cause. Instead, I would prefer to build, or help build, opportunities for others to make a difference through organizations, businesses and programs. I want to create the opportunities to volunteer or donate. This is the direction in which StartupCorner is growing. It will be a way to positively impact the world through supporting, funding and partnering with those people who are actively working to make a difference.

As a designer, I also choose not to use my talents to sell products or services for the sake of making money. I am working to start either another company or a freelance venture that works exclusively with positive cause clients and with environmentally conscious vendors.

As for everything else… well, there’s just too much I have planned to share in one post. :)

Where are you passionate about making a difference?
What are you doing to support those causes?

Be the Best, Healthiest and Happiest You™

Write Green: DBA 98% Biodegradable Pen

I can’t believe I came across this company… well I can, because I believe in synchronicity. Just a few days ago as I ran my pen dry, I was wondering to myself if there are pens out there that are refillable. Yes, pens are small… but at this point, every little bit of waste really does make a difference. While working on a design project and searching TheBestDesigns.com for inspiration and I came across DBA. Instant love. Not only do they offer these pens, but they also offer 100% recycled paper notebooks *AND* the option to purchase carbon offset credits at check out!

Learn more about carbon offset credits at CarbonFund.org!

I personally plan on ordering some of these pens as well as the notebooks and will share my thoughts as soon as I have them!

What are your favorite green products?

Be the Best, Healthiest and Happiest You™

The Importance of Keeping a Journal

I really feel for the person who goes through their entire life without ever keeping a record of who they really are. I understand the fear of being “found out.” But I also understand the freedom and the joy of being unabashedly WHO YOU ARE.

There used to be times when I would think about how awful it might be for someone to find and read one of my journals. There are no dark and dirty secrets, no skeletons in my closet… yet I still feared someone reading my words. Now, when I think about my boyfriend reading my journal, I think to myself, “well, that’s who I am.” Since becoming more open and accepting of myself, I’ve seen a connection between what I write each morning and what I end up saying or doing that very same day. The thoughts, feelings and opinions I have on paper are the same as the thoughts, feelings and opinions I will later voice, albeit, they are far more disjointed and underdeveloped on the page.

Instead of spending my days scatterbrained and uncomfortable from the endless spinning and drifting of my mind, I capture those loose words on the page. By capturing them, I expose them to the light of day. I make them real and concrete, which automatically allows them to expand. Those little bits, the thoughts, fears, joyful mementos and opinions are mine. They represent me in the rawest and purest form.

More often than not, what I put on the page will become clear or complete either in the moment or later in my day. I struggled for several days over how to launch my new business project, StartupCorner, but when I sat down to journal what was on my mind one morning, I realized I was suddenly creating a clear plan. Sometimes when I journal I am also able to put a name to whatever I am feeling, while beginning to sort through it. If I don’t come to any conclusions while writing, later in the day I will be hit with solutions or a rush of clarity.

If you ever find yourself in a funk or without the ability to make sense of your thoughts or feelings, sit down and write three pages longhand in a notebook or on printer paper. If you can force yourself to write whatever is on your mind, truthfully and completely, by the end of those pages you will find clarity, or at the very least, feel a sense of relief. When you journal regularly you will begin to notice trends as you read back through your pages. You will see where you struggle, what upsets you most and what things make you happy. Through journaling, you will get to know yourself better and begin to live a happier and healthy life.

Do you keep a journal? If so, why or why not?

Be the Best, Healthiest and Happiest You™

Personal Branding: Consistency is Key

Having a solid personal brand has a lot to do with knowing where you’re coming from in life.

Not what part of the country you’re from, how you were raised or where you went to college. The place “where you come from” has more to do with what you value and believe as well as your mission in life and what you wish to achieve. Really understanding those things will help you act from of a place of certainty and direction in all facets of your life.

Having a natural knack for noticing inconsistencies, I feel constantly aware of how often people contradict themselves. You’ll run a red arrow but not make an illegal U-Turn. You stress working out and eating clean, yet you smoke cigarettes every day. You attend church on a regular basis, yet you download illegally and burn copies of things you didn’t pay for. Do you see where I’m going with this? You pick and choose when to be consistent with what you claim to be your own values.

The personal brand that I am currently working to build for myself is one that follows the mantra of “be the best, healthiest and happiest you™.” As I’ve said before, to me this means that I am as green as I can possibly be, I am positively contributing to others and the world through everything that I do, I am healthy and fit both mentally and physically and I am working to live true to my mission statement.

When I made the decision that this would be my personal brand, I discovered a lot of projects and life practices that were inconsistent with the message I wished to send. This disheartened me a bit because they are things that I love… things that include a classic car that probably doesn’t get more than 15 mpg (though once it did get in the 20s on a road trip), an arts and craft project that was being made from non-recycled materials and really just creating more junk in the world, a business that simply focused on using design as a means to make money and a project dear to my heart (soon to be announced!) that I couldn’t really figure out how it fit within my mission.

I’m happy to report that I’ve since discovered ways that not only allow me to keep these things as a part of my life and my personal brand, but I am more excited about them than I was before! I want to share these in the near future as examples of what I intend to do as I grow my brand. My goal with this is to help others realize that you can keep doing what you’re doing in life while, with a few tweaks, making it consistent with being the best, healthiest and happiest person that you can possibly be.

Do you know where you’re coming from in life?
Can you admit to an area that you’re inconsistent in?

Be the Best, Healthiest and Happiest You™

Personal Branding and Mission Statements: Why Everyone Should Have One

Personal branding is essential for any individual
that wants to build a consistent and focused life.

Before this past year or so of serious soul searching and personal growth, I would have believed that things like mission statements and personal branding should be limited to companies and public figures. Now, I realize that it’s essential for building a consistent and focused life.

By creating a mission statement you learn how to hone in on your passions and purpose while setting a clear, overall goal for your life. A driving force for everything that you do. I believe it is the most important step in building your personal brand and building the life that you want to live. If you want to be the Best, Healthiest and Happiest You™, you have to understand what that means to you.

“My mission is to use my mind and creativity, through businesses, art, writing and leading by example, to teach and inspire personal responsibility and gratitude in others, along with the goal of becoming the best, healthiest and happiest person they can possibly be.” Stephenie Zamora

My mission statement defines the person that I want to be, what I want to accomplish and through what methods I plan to do that. By understanding these things, I am able to build my life accordingly. If being the best, happiest and healthiest me means I am as green as I can be, I am giving back to the world, I am fit, healthy, active and I am working to inspire others towards these same goals–that means that my companies and projects, my actions and my words reflect this.

I am currently working on building my personal brand and extending my core values into all facets of my life while working to live my mission statement. It is a concept that I wish to share further with you as I believe it’s essential. Please be sure to keep an eye out for upcoming posts around personal branding and creating your mission statement!

Please, share your thoughts on the subject in the comments section.

Do you have a mission statement? What does personal branding mean to you?

Be the Best, Healthiest and Happiest You™

Making Changes

“Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened
about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.”

Making changes can be hard… because they push us to do new things, change old habits and patterns and sometimes even require us to blaze a new path alone.

Being the best, happiest and healthiest person I can be is extremely important to me. It’s extremely important, not because it means being physically fit, financially secure or happily married, but because it means that I am making a positive impact and massive contribution to the world. I am as green as I can possibly be, as cruelty free, environmentally and social conscious as I can be. It means I’m making a difference in the lives of others and the health of our world.

Today when mentioning some of the changes I wanted to make to my company, including printing exclusively with green, environmentally friendly printers and hosting exclusively with solar and wind powered hosting companies (among other things), I was given the response, “Well, that’s going to be hard to do.”

“Well, that’s what I want to do.” And that is what I WILL do.

I am not interested in waiting for “the right time” to make these changes with my company and my life. “Paying my dues” by first doing work that doesn’t really matter and hoping that one day soon I’ll earn the right to realize my potential and really make a difference. By being me, I have earned that right. It’s who I am and positively impacting the world is what I intend to do.

My mission still rings true and still infuses me with passion. The more soul searching and journaling that I do, the clearer my purpose becomes to me. I understand that the negative responses I’m receiving come from a place of fear. Fear of change and the unknown. Possibly fear of a little hard work? Getting uncomfortable?

“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” Brian Tracy

In order to become the best, healthiest and happiest person you can possibly be, you’re going to have to get uncomfortable. It may mean working out when you’d rather be sedentary. Eating a bowl of steamed broccoli instead of potato chips. Telling your friends you don’t want to participate in gossip anymore. Recycling when it’s easier to throw it away and not think about it. Questioning your tried and true products, their ingredients and packaging.

It’s all about the small shifts. These shifts lead to better habits, better health and a better world.

What are you holding back from doing because of fear or disapproval?
What is a small shift that you could make today?

Be the Best, Healthiest and Happiest You™

When Someone You Love is Hurting Themselves

It’s important to realize that when someone you love is hurting themselves, they’re doing just that. They are not hurting you. They are not tearing your world apart, pissing you off, causing you to lose sleep or causing you deep sadness… you are.

Closeup of young… from Yuri Arcurs Website

If I’ve learned anything from my initial Buddhism “wetting of the toes,” it’s that the cause of all suffering is our resistance to accepting things as they are. Accepting that we all die. We all grow old, relationships end and the people that we love and care for may not end up living up to our hopes and expectations for them. Perfectly talented and brilliant individuals whose futures seem incredibly bright, will throw that all away. They may get pregnant underage, drop out of high school, steal… they may do drugs and eventually find themselves hooked on the mother of all drugs, heroin.

When these things happen, our reactions vary. Some of us get angry… how can they be so selfish? How can they do this to me? After all I’ve done for them? Some of us get incredibly sad… how can someone that I love, with such a bright future end up on this path? We blame ourselves… What did I do, what could I have done different? And we fight like hell to change it.

While it may be difficult, it’s extremely important that we realize in these situations we are the only ones hurting ourselves. By expecting them to be someone and something they are not. By resisting the truth of who they are and what they’ve done, we find ourselves stuck in a painful cycle… we torture ourselves further and further until we wear ourselves thin.

I’m not suggesting that you stop caring and I’m not speaking out of place. What I’ve come to realize over the past several days is that we are the only ones in control of whether or not we stay strong, sane and healthy or completely fall to pieces over what someone else is doing to themselves. All that we can do is offer our love and support and understand that it may not be taken. That person may choose not to change, by their own power or the power of something that has full control over them.

By making this realization, we free ourselves from the cycle. Some people may choose to continue offering their support to this person for days, months, years… it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you realize it’s on you to cut this person and their problems from your life when they become toxic. When you’ve done all that you feel you can, it’s time to let go.

Note: I also wanted to add some information on the power of mindfulness. When terrible things happen to someone that you love it is absolutely natural to feel sad or angry. The practice of mindfulness means simply being aware of those thoughts or feelings, but not acting on or reacting to them. Simply treat them as a passing cloud in the sky. Acknowledge their presence and allow yourself to feel them. Then continue on with your life. Do not engage in a downward spiral of thoughts or make yourself wrong for feeling them. Just let them be.

Be the Best, Healthiest and Happiest You™

Fabulous Video

I came across this ad today on Twitter. I love it so much and I wanted to share!