I played with some paints today for the first time in a long while.
I used to make stuff just to make stuff all the time.
Then I went to art school and studied design. Suddenly everything had to be “for a purpose.” It had to be marketable. It had to have an audience. It had to meet some arbitrary criteria to make the grade or be good enough.
I stopped creating just to create.
And even when I started finding my way back to it after several years, my designer boyfriend at the time always felt a need to critique and (literally) grade, further reinforcing the idea that I couldn’t just create and express how and why I wanted. It had to meet an external standard. It had to be palatable to someone else.
So, today it was fun just to play.
To not worry if it was good enough, if it became anything, if anyone liked it but me.