I Don’t Care Why; I Care THAT

May 3, 2021

I don’t care why; I care THAT.

Giving up the habitual response of making excuses for others has been so freeing. It’s also been so incredibly loving to me.

I know there’s a reason people hurt me, behave poorly, don’t show up, and do awful things. Some of those reasons may be perfectly valid and reasonable, while some are malicious, unkind, or unconscious.

But I don’t care why it happened.

I care THAT it happened and that it’s a no for me.


To many, it seems harsh, and I get that. I would have felt the same way until it really clicked for me: making excuses for other people is so unloving. It’s unloving to them, and especially to myself.

It enables others to stay in ways of being that aren’t serving them or the people around them. And it’s dripping in a low sense of self-worth in myself.

We can understand there are reasons at play and even feel compassion for the person, but that doesn’t mean we have to tolerate anything that’s a no for us. Not now, not ever, no matter who did it.

I don’t care why; I care THAT.

And it’s the most loving thing I can do.

My writing has moved to Substack!

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