I Don’t Need You To Send Me Love I Need Your Practical Help

February 12, 2020

During the peak of my grief, a lot of people would “send love”. And while I understood the sentiment – after all, what do you say to someone who’s dealing with suicide loss around the holidays – and I understood the well-meaning behind those words… hearing them drove me crazy. Absolutely bonkers.  

I didn’t need the good vibes, I needed a shoulder to cry on. I didn’t need people to feel sorry for me, I needed help managing the day-to-day of my life. I didn’t need someone to tell me that time heals everything, I needed someone to force me to eat my breakfast and help me find a way to soothe the anxiety that was eating me alive.  

If a loved one of yours is going through a tough time, don’t just send them off with “some love” – find ways to help them get through the day. And if you are the one struggling, talk to people. Loudly and clearly. Say, “hey, I need to take care of xyz today, can you please help me?” I bet at least ONE person would come right away.

Communicate your needs… and even though life won’t get miraculously easy, it will get EASIER. And every small bit counts. 

My writing has moved to Substack!

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