We Can Still Be Missing and Grieving What Was Left Behind

June 10, 2021

When we grow, heal and let things go, it doesn’t mean we don’t still miss and grieve what was left behind even as we begin to reclaim ourselves and find our joy again.

There’s room for both.

The relief, expansion, and magic we experience doesn’t negate any sadness or hurt. It doesn’t always mean we’ve moved on completely. Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no. It’s different for each person and situation.


Just because to you it looks one way and means one thing based on your own past experiences, interpretations, and beliefs doesn’t make it true.

We live in a world filled with narrowly focused humans. Everyone making assumptions and projecting beliefs and irrelevant information onto one another. It’s our nature because we’re never taught context. We’re never taught to consider personality type, past experiences we know nothing about, different values and beliefs, or the culture and communities that raised them.

We assume.
Make snap judgments.
Only consider our lens and frame.

Then we react and respond to something that may not even be happening.

This is damaging to ourselves and those around us. Context is everything. It doesn’t matter if another person is the same age having the same experience as you did with the same people or situations—they’re not you. Their experience, responses, thoughts, beliefs, wants, and needs are different.

Just like it doesn’t matter if you’re confused by the idea of holding and feeling two contradicting experiences at once.

Grief and joy.
Anger and peace.
Care and detachment.
Hope and deflation.

Building the capacity for more than one experience or emotion is one of the most powerful, healing, and expansive skills we can cultivate.

And it’s confusing to others, especially those with no context for its possibility, but that doesn’t make it any less real.

Stop assuming.
Quit projecting your context and beliefs.
Get to know what others are experiencing.
Use your words and have a conversation.
Stay open to things you’ve never experienced.

There’s so much more to the world and other people than your assumptions and limited lens. Take the time to explore other people’s context. You’ll learn so much about yourself and this life.

My writing has moved to Substack!

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