Resentment = Stop Doing It

December 20, 2010

When I was in New York, a very wise women named Danielle LaPorte spoke about resentment. She was talking about the things that weaken us, drain us, make us feel less than or not good enough, and most importantly, the things that make us feel resentful. Resentment is toxic.

Last night I found myself in a fit of resentment. I could feel it in every cell of my body and that is a very toxic space to be in. When you can feel those negative thoughts and feelings vibrating through you, you know that’s doing some serious damage to your physical and emotional well being. That’s where illness and chronic disease manifest. Your immune system weakens and your body gets some serious wear and tear. Did you know that for every six minutes you experience a high state of negative stress it takes your immune system six hours to recover?

When you find yourself in a situation or experience that fills you with resentment, you need to stop and ask yourself why. Why are you squirming with bitterness? What about the situation is really eating at you and causing your frustration? If you can really sit with your feelings and think about what triggered you, you’re going to find a reason. Maybe it’s a series of events, a situation, a person, a general attitude or tone… maybe it’s that you’re not passionate about what you’re doing or you don’t believe in it. Maybe you hate having to do things without all the details or you dislike the tasks that are required of you.

Whatever the reason, acknowledge it. Be very clear and specific about what makes you feel resentful. And stop doing it.

I realize that this is not always as simple as it sounds. Danielle suggests that you make a list of things to stop doing. Sometimes these things are easy enough… sometimes they’re not. Sometimes they’re tied to your financial stability, like a job or a client. But put things into perspective. Yes, right now, that job or client (or whatever it is for you) might be necessary and feel too important to let go. But in the long run, you’re going to severely deplete your immune system and essentially shorten your life. If that doesn’t bother you, then by all means, continue doing what you’re doing.

But it you’re like me and you recognize that you only get one body and one life that we know of… then you need to make that list and figure out a time frame for when you can stop doing those larger things. Commit to making those changes and just as with anything else, you’ll find that things really start to shift in ways that support that decision.

What is something that you feel resentful about in your life?
What are some things you need to stop doing?

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