What do you do when you realize that something you want is impossible?
Truthfully, the answer depends on context.
Some things feel impossible because we’re not the person we need to be to have what we want. We haven’t learned how to adjust our way of being in the world, shifting the odds in our favor. We haven’t built up our trust muscle with ourselves and the universe or learned how to move through the subconscious storm that arrives when we move away from the known and familiar. Sometimes things only seem impossible because of our limited thinking, not because they actually are.
Some things feel impossible because they are, at least in the form we wanted. This can happen when circumstances change, people leave our life in one way or another, or doors close for good. Businesses shut down, money runs out, natural disasters wipe out entire cities, and the economy tanks. Maybe the relationship you wanted with that one person is now impossible, or becoming the CEO is no longer an option because you got laid off. Sometimes things are impossible, but only because of our attachment to how we believe things should look.
If something is impossible based on your attachment, you have a choice: decide that you’re done, or get clear on what you really want.
When the relationship ends with the person you wanted, get clear why you wanted them. What were the traits or characteristics you loved? What felt really good and aligned to you? What were your shared goals or vision? What do you want in a relationship without hinging it on this specific person?
When the position is no longer available because they hired someone else or the company shut down, get clear on why you wanted it. What were the benefits of getting that position? What influence did you want to have, and why is that important to you? What did you believe you’d gain from having that role, personally and professionally? What do you want from your work without hinging it on this specific company or the position that’s no longer an option?
Our attachment to how we think things should look is what trips us up.
Making the impossible happen requires an understanding that we don’t know what all it’s going to take. It requires an openness to the natural unfolding as we move towards it. That means surrendering to the process. We might think it’s that one person, position, opportunity, option, or place… but what if it’s not?
What if that thing we got attached to only came into our field to help expand our subconscious beliefs around what’s possible? What if it was simply meant to teach us something important or help us further clarify our desires?
Realizing that something specific we want is impossible can be hard, and it hurts our hearts at times, I know.
Believe me, I know.
I’ve lost really good people, relationships, and situations I never wanted to lose.
I’ve lost clients, places I loved living, and opportunities that felt super aligned.
I’ve struggled to release my attachment to who and what I want.
I’ve been absolutely rocked by having to figure out new ways forward.
Yet, I’ve learned a crucial lesson in making the impossible happen:
Don’t give up on what you want; tap back into why you want it and open yourself to new possibilities and pathways for making it happen.
Your subconscious wants you to believe that this specific person or thing you got attached to was your only chance at having what you want, and now it’s impossible. But that’s only because it wants you to go back to the known and familiar where it believes you’re safest. It’s wired to keep you exactly where you are, and it will work to do that by any means necessary, including hooking you into despair.
Feel your feelings and grieve your attachment, but don’t stop.
Don’t buy into the despair or the stories your subconscious spools up.
Tap back into what you want and why, and find a new way forward.