Staying open, loving, and boundaried has been my practice and intention since last summer.
A challenging and disorienting balance more often than not, but one I keep deepening into all the time.
It’s broken my heart, and it’s pieced me back together. It’s pushed me into wildly uncomfortable and uncharted territory, and it’s made my experiences far richer. It’s caused conflict and confusion, but it’s mostly created more depth of connection.
Have I closed at times?
Shut down and stepped away?
Yes, of course.
This practice is undoing a lifetime habit of putting up walls to keep me safe.
It hasn’t been easy at all, and it will only get harder in some areas, but it’s been a hugely nourishing and expansive experience.
I want to be open and loving.
And I want to continue learning how to do that in a way that doesn’t cost me pieces of myself or important aspects of my life. I want to continue learning the difference between boundaries and walls so I can continue opening even if some distance or limitations are needed and necessary.
So I keep practicing.
Deepening into my intention.
And opening when I want to close.