Finding Freedom From Old Ways of Being

August 4, 2021

Finding freedom is a focus of the work I do—for myself and with my clients.

Freedom from old ways of being that aren’t serving us anymore, freedom from subconscious patterns that keep us in a space of perpetual self-sabotage and smallness, and freedom from experiences that aren’t aligned.

Recently I did some process work that made me realize how much I wanted freedom from a particular connection and relationship that, while good and beautiful in many ways, caused a lot of hurt to my heart for far too long.

I resisted the idea of releasing it at first because the love and connection between us had always run deep. But as the process continued, I realized that it was an enmeshment I didn’t want anything to do with anymore. It continued to hold me back even with space and distance, and I wanted freedom for us both.

So, I surrendered.

I rooted into the desire to let go and find freedom.
I apologized for my role and set the firmest of boundaries.
I closed the door and cut off any remaining connection.
And I let go of any intention to circle back in the future.

I set myself and the other person free.

It was heartbreaking at first because unhealthy enmeshments are often rooted in our core wounds and winning strategies. Which means it’s not just about consciously choosing something different and learning new ways of being in the world; it’s about actively going against our subconscious patterns and programming.

And that old, deep part of us will fight with everything it has to keep things “known and familiar” no matter how damaging it is.

My core wound tried putting up a heck of a fight.

This showed up as stories that stoked fear and grief in my heart. It felt like a deep craving and ache for what I’d left behind. My mind churned out lies rooted in doubt that said I should go back, make amends, and keep the enmeshment alive. It’s a massive detoxing that happens, and it can be wildly unnerving at times.

But I’m well-resourced.

I have tons of tools and support.
I understand what’s happening internally.
I know my winning strategy and how it hooks me.
I don’t buy into the lies of my core wounding anymore.
I have the skill to navigate the detox period with more ease.

Having this deeper understanding and awareness of how I’m wired and how to step outside those habitual and fearful responses made a world of difference.

I began to feel so free from what and who I released within days, and weeks later, I couldn’t even remember much what I’d felt resistant about. I moved through the waves of grief with grace, and I was able to step forward into new and beautiful things without fear slowing me down. I found true freedom, something that felt impossible with how deeply hooked I’d become.

This work is everything, and I want more people to experience it.

This is just one example of how I’ve created freedom for myself, and there are so many from over the last several years. I’ve completely transformed my life, 5x my income in one year, manifested the perfect Rig, moved myself to the mountains, and healed from a tremendous amount of grief and trauma.

I feel wholly equipped to navigate anything life throws at me.

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