I’ve Been Hiding

November 9, 2017

Today’s my 33rd birthday…
And I’m done hiding.

That probably seems like a strange thing to hear from someone who regularly bears her life and soul on the internet for other people to read about.

But yes… I’ve been hiding.

Since summer. 
Since travel and nonstop adventures. 
Since things were said that couldn’t be unsaid. 
Since relationships transitioned and new experiences emerged. 
Since old, deep, hard traumas began to surface for healing. 
Since I cracked both cameras on my phone (oops). 
Since the work asked me to really pause and be still.

The truth is, I haven’t wanted to talk about what I’ve been experiencing in my life, relationships, health, business, and healing since early July.

The first part is, I wasn’t always doing the work. I wasn’t always facing into what wanted to be looked at, talked about, worked through, and cleared. I wasn’t ready to step into new ways of being, nor was I ready for the relationships that were stretching my heart and soul. And if I wasn’t doing the work, I couldn’t be talking about how important doing the work is, now could I? Congruency is everything… and until I was willing to really show up for what was being asked of me, my writing and creating slowed tremendously.

The second part is, sometimes sitting still is the most productive thing you can do. Over the summer I started listening for answers to questions I didn’t even realize I was asking. For almost a year I heard a clear call to be still. To pause. To not do more than was necessary. And this summer, I really started listening to that call. I didn’t market myself. I didn’t create. I didn’t look for work. And I was willing to run out of money if that’s what it took.

I made less the first three quarters of this year than I have in a long time… but I refused to make any moves. I knew in my bones that I had to see this through. I didn’t know what “this” was, but I knew that if I did anything other than be still, all the painful things I walked through the last three years would be for not.

So, I was still. I didn’t create as much. I didn’t share as much.

And now, I’m ready.

I’m ready to talk about summer and fall and all the magic they were made of. About the healing and heartache and endless learning experiences from this three year chapter of my life that has finally come to a close. About the new relationships and all the new ways of being. About the way my work clicked back into place with such clarity, inspiration, and vision.

About all of it.
The hard, the beautiful, the challenging.
I’m ready.

But, today what I really want to know is:

What’s the journey you’re walking right now? 
Where are you feeling stuck or frustrated or a little lost? 
And what would you really, truly like me to talk about and share? 
What burning questions would you like me to answer? 
Or what would be most helpful for me to create?

New things are coming. And now is the time to let me know how I can shape them in a way that is most supportive of YOU and YOUR journey.

Consider it your birthday gift to me, so that I can give more to you. Comment below or click this link to fill out an anonymous questionnaire:

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