Not Everyone Deserves Access to You or Your Life

June 16, 2021

Not everyone deserves access to you or your life.

Not everyone gets the privilege of hearing your stories or the honor of sharing your experiences. Not everyone is worthy of your time, energy, or attention.

But many people will think they’re deserving of access simply because they want it.

Simply because they like how you look or what it feels like to be in your energy.

Simply because they have a space in their life that they think you’d fit inside perfectly (without every truly considering you or your experience).

This life isn’t about getting other people to choose us; it’s about learning to choose ourselves fully. Learning to own our worth, know and love ourselves fully, raise our standards, and live our joy like it’s our job. That’s when you find resonance with your right people. Humans who take great care to love and support you in the ways you need because they’ve done the inner work on and for themselves. Because they can attune to situations and emotions, and they understand actual vulnerability and how to cultivate a more profound connection.

Be careful who you let into your space.

Just because they want to be there doesn’t mean they should be.

Just because they have good intentions doesn’t mean they’re deserving, especially when their unconscious actions and ways of being are hurtful to your heart.

What’s the price of admission for access to you?
What are you willing and unwilling to tolerate?
What do you want and need from other people?
And are those things genuinely being considered?


No one can answer these things but you.

Either way, center yourself in the conversation. Stop prioritizing people who can’t prioritize you and focus on what you want and need. Your feelings and experience matter too. Putting yourself first quickly deflects people who aren’t up to the task of fully meeting you the way you’re capable of meeting others.

And remember, not everyone is meant to walk this life with us forever.

With growth comes outgrowing. Not always, but often.

As you raise your worth and grow into who you’re here to be, you’ll start to see more clearly who no longer deserves access to you or your life. You’ll feel that tension, disconnect, and lack of support more acutely, and it will become impossible to ignore. I call this process reorienting, and it’s unavoidable in life.

If you need support, check out my book on Cultivating Confidence

In this book, you’ll be learning some of the most critical components for cultivating more confidence in your life. We all want higher levels of confidence, but many of us struggle to feel it consistently. We see confident people walking around with ease and loving life and think, “Wow, I wish I could be that confident!” They’re cool, comfortable in their skin, and everyone respects that about them. We set those confident people on a pedestal, believing they have something we don’t.

But the truth is, confidence has nothing to do with what we see on the surface or their circumstances and everything to do with what they’ve learned to focus on at a deeper, internal level. We don’t realize that anyone can quickly master confidence at any time—including you. You just need to understand the key elements outlined in this book and remove some very specific obstacles to begin experiencing more confidence in yourself.

And if it feels impossible to think about letting go of people in your life (or to start calling in a more aligned community), check out my free Make the Impossible Happen workbook below! Anything is possible if you understand this process.

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