When Other People Project Their Fears Onto You

November 11, 2021

I’ve become far more guarded this year in the most necessary of ways.

With people who love to project their fears and constraints or who believe they know everything “from experience.”

Don’t get me wrong; experience has its place.

But most people live “from experience” in a way that’s limiting and irrelevant.

They take what they know and apply it without presence or context. They don’t consider all the factors at play, and they assume that anything not experienced or documented must not be possible. And when people try to explain to me why things are impossible based on what they’ve known to be possible in the past, I honestly don’t even listen anymore because things are always impossible until they’re not.

We used to believe a human couldn’t run a sub-4-minute mile.

Until Roger Bannister did it.

Within three years, 16 more runners broke the same barrier. In fact, it only took a month and a half for John Landry to break Roger Bannister’s record.

So, no. I’m not interested in other people’s experience when it’s used to try and limit what’s possible for me.

I’m also not all that interested in most people’s knowledge.

Again, knowledge has its place, but so many people like to box in others based on the books they’ve read, topics they’ve studied, or information they’ve consumed. Knowledge can inform approaches and help shape new ideas, but far too many people like to limit what’s possible based on what’s known so far.

All of this is to say…

Be careful who you share your dreams and desires with.

Very few people can hold space for possibility if someone else hasn’t done it already. But just because it hasn’t been done, doesn’t mean it’s not possible.

In fact, you can’t desire something that isn’t possible.

If you desire it, it’s possible. But possibility isn’t a promise; it’s a call to action. And that means that you can’t just sit around and desire it. You have to take action.

Taking action doesn’t mean thinking positive thoughts and creating a pretty vision board. Those things can be tools to help us in small ways, but they’re not actually taking action toward what we want. They’re not creating a channel for what we want to come through; they’re simply reinforcing the desire in our system.

The action we have to take is:

Changing our way of being, so the world reconfigures around us.

Raising our self-worth and sense of deservingness.

Releasing our winning strategies and subconscious patterns of self-sabotage.

Healing our traumas and core wounding, so we’re free to make conscious choices.

Building our trust muscle—in ourselves and in that greater energy at play.

Having very specific conversations that move us forward rapidly.

Pushing our edges and learning new skills to navigate the challenges that crop up.

This is the work to make impossible things possible and move them into a reality.

I’ve spent the last several years testing and experimenting with my own desires and helping my clients do the same.

If we want it, it’s possible. Period. We just have to learn to engage with the world in a whole new way… a way that most people with “knowledge” and “experience” don’t understand and have never tested for themselves, so it’s easier for them to hinge on what’s already been proven as possible.

But you don’t have to do that.

Opt-in for my free workbook below, or check out my 90-minute workshop.

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