I want to be bolder and braver with this one life of mine.
I want to be able to say that I told the people I love, just how much I love them. And that I loved them with the fullness and enormous capacity my heart has always had. With no conditions, no attachments, and no boundaries. I want to be able to say I was brave enough to put it all on the line, and I risked being cracked open again and again. To say I was brave enough to have the conversations that made me uncomfortable, so I can say I truly put myself out there, with every single soul who graced my life with their presence. Despite hurt, heartache, and loss.
I want to be able to say that I wrote all the stories that have been swirling around inside of me these past several months. These past several years. The stories that are raw and challenging and expose me and my soul in a whole new way. Mostly, I want to be able to say that I shared them. With you, with the ones I love, and with the ones who desperately need to hear them. I want to be able to say I was brave enough to step into the next level of my work, time and time again.
I want to be able to say I was seen, wholly and completely. That I was able to give myself fully to someone I love, and that I didn’t hold anything back. That, even when it was most uncomfortable, I chose to show up fully. I chose to speak my truth, especially during the hard moments.
I want to be able to say that I stood my ground for the things I believe in. That I didn’t worry about what others thought, and I stopped worrying about being “too much”. I want to be able to say that I let my voice be heard, and that I lived a life that woke others up to the ways they’re not living and loving and existing fully in theirs. That I was passionate and opinionated around what matters to me.
I want to be able to say that I never let another soul dictate how I lived my life, how I showed up, or how I expressed my truth to the world. That I was brave enough to go up against what others expected of me, and what is considered “right” and “proper”, and instead I did what was best for me. That I never let fear of judgement or ridicule decide how I stepped forward.
I want to be able to say that I never stopped learning or being a student. That I never stopped being insatiably curious about this one amazing life, and all that exists within it. That I continued to allow life and love and loss to be my muses, and I continued to express what I learned in new ways. I want to be able to say that I continued saying yes, and allowed new and amazing experiences to guide me.
I want to be able to say that I never stopped striving for full alignment in myself and my life and my work. That I never settled for anything less than what I desire and deserve. That I walked away from those and that which no longer serve me. That I trusted my intuition completely, especially when it made no sense. That I had trust and faith, and settled deeply into surrender.
I want to be able to say that I stopped simply teaching, and I showed up to lead. And that I lead with my life and my actions and my choices. I lead by showing up bolder and braver than I ever had before… shaking in my boots, struggling to speak through the knot in my throat, and certain I was going to pass out. I want to be able to say that I showed up and I did the work I’m here to do.
This one life we have.
It’s short, and oftentimes it’s hard. It’s full of laughter and love, and tears. People come and go, and sometimes they leave with such force that we’re left in pieces. Sometimes they stay, and we learn what’s it’s like to have people who were meant to walk beside us. This life is challenging, and it’s beautiful. It’s filled with amazing opportunities and experiences, often disguised as obstacles.
We often think about legacy as if it’s something to come…as something that becomes relevant after we’re gone. And while that’s true, every single day that we’re alive in this one life we have, we’re writing our legacy. We’re deciding what will be said about us when we’re gone, and what we’ll be able to say on our death bed. We’re deciding how our life will or won’t inspire others. How we’ll be remembered, and what impact we’ll have had during our short days.
And me? Well, I want to be bolder and braver with this one life of mine.
I’ve been bold and brave in many ways, but I want to take it to a whole new level. Because what’s next for me requires that I step it up, and that I’m willing to get really, really uncomfortable. That I share myself and my work in a whole new way. But I’m ready to rise to the challenge. Ready to be able to say that I was bolder and braver, and that I lived and loved and lead as fully as I could.
“Today I try my hardest to live a life that might proclaim something loudly after I am gone.” Hannah Brencher