There’s a huge myth around fear that I want to dispel today and it’s that certain people are more fearless than others. I’m sure there are exceptions to this, but for the majority of seemingly fearless people, the correct term would be more like fear-filled.
I’ve done a lot of big things in my life and business lately, as well as in my relationship, finances and everything in between, but I’m not fearless.
The truth is, I’m riddled with fear more often than not.
Creating a life and business around your passion, going deeper into intimacy and connection in relationships, putting yourself out there, trying new things, expressing yourself in whatever way you do… it’s all scary as hell. It’s uncomfortable, challenging, terrifying and hard. But when you commit to creating an amazing life, fear’s just part of the process. People who appear fearless are the ones who understand this.
It’s not at all about an absence of fear… it’s about knowing that fear will always be there, even more so the deeper you descend on the journey, and letting it guide you rather than deter you from moving forward. I live a fear-filled life because that’s what it takes to create amazing things and attract amazing people, experiences and opportunities.
Four things you need to know to become “fearless” in your life:
1) Fear will never go away unless you settle into a rut.
Really sit with that for a moment… if you’re not experiencing fear in your life right now, chances are you’re sticking to what you know, settling for less than you deserve, and you likely aren’t doing much growing either. If you’re doing the work, building amazing things, and diving deeper into your truth, you’re experiencing fear and discomfort. It comes with the territory and there’s no way around it. So if you’re not, take an honest look at your life and see if you’ve settled or fallen into a comfortable rut to avoid the discomfort.
2) It gets easier with time.
At this point in my journey, I’m pretty comfortable with fear. I’m launching a newish website and offerings, putting out my first book, diving deep and dark in my personal development and relationships, letting go of things, shifting my life and business, and generally doing more and more of the work it takes to create an amazing life. It’s scary, hard and uncomfortable. I’m terrified every time I send out a vulnerable blog post, release a new module for my program (despite doing this work for almost a decade), and step further into my truth.
3) Fear can be the best fuel if you let it.
I’ve talked and written about this many times as one of my favorite quotes from Robert Heller, “fear is excitement without the breath.” Fear is an awesome kind of energy that can be easily shifted into energy, excitement, enthusiasm, and fuel if you stop fighting it. Rather than running away or retreating, or avoiding it all together, feel the fear and breathe into it deeply. Let it turn into the nervous, excited, and jittery energy it can be and then move forward. I do this often and it always helps me tackle the scary things in my life and businesses with more ease than tension.
4) Bravery comes from vulnerability, not fearlessness.
Something Brené Brown says that I love is, “vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage.” If you want to be brave, “fearless” and courageous, you have to be vulnerable, there’s no way around it. Creating amazing things in your life and business requires depth, connection, expression, and truth. It requires you to put yourself out there in more ways than one and that’s not easy, but it’s so worth it. The more vulnerable I get, the deeper my personal relationships and connection to my clients and audience have become. I can’t count the number of blog posts or social media updates I’ve hesitated to hit send on, and then had to walk away from the computer so I couldn’t quickly “undo” them. Those are the times I’ve most deeply connected with you. And it wasn’t until I started getting more vulnerable that my business really began to blossom.
Take action now!
Where do you want to be “fearless” in your life, work, or relationships? Where are you stuck in a comfortable rut? Choose one thing you’ll do right now to be fear-filled and vulnerable and go do it. Breathe into the fear that comes up and trust in the journey. Fear is a guide as much as it is fuel, so whatever you need next, you’ll likely feel the most fear around. Let me know what you chose and how you executed and we’ll celebrate together!