After a significant life event like a trauma, a loss, or something that affects you deeply, you may notice that you’re always feeling on edge.
Even after the storm has passed and the clouds have lifted, it’s always there. A nagging feeling that doesn’t allow you to settle. It’s as if you’re waiting and waiting for the storm to strike again. Always on high-alert no matter where you are.
Learning to override and release that feeling is a huge part of healing, but it doesn’t happen easily or overnight. Trauma isn’t mind over matter, it’s matter over mind until we learn the skills and tools to ground ourselves in the present. Until we teach our brains, bodies, and nervous systems that we’re safe in the here and now.
I can’t tell you exactly how you’ll do that, as every healing journey is as unique as you are. But I can tell you this:
When it feels like “the calm before the storm,” ground into your body through your breath and senses. Breathe and breathe and breathe some more. Feel your body where you are, listen to the sounds around you, and take in every detail that your eyes can register.
Then tell yourself, “I’m safe, and I can relax now.”
As many times as it takes as you settle into this moment. Drawing a firm line between what happened in the past and where you are now. Allowing your brain and body to learn that the pain and hurt have passed.
Give yourself grace in this practice.
It takes time to rewire ourselves in the aftermath.