It’s Not the Answer

April 25, 2017

“He will always be a part of my story,” I said as we stared out over the city from our mountaintop perch. “He brought my entire world to a halt and completely altered the course of my life. And while I may be able to remember everything from a distance now, I will never forget any it.”

We were talking about the people and things we wish we could forget. The moments in time that would be easier to erase than carry with us. We all have them… the gut wrenching memories, toxic relationships, or giant missteps and failures that linger in our heart and weigh heavy on our soul.

I don’t believe forgetting is the answer.
Because some things aren’t meant to be forgotten.

There are moments from my loss that have burned themselves into my brain. Memories I can drop into and relive as if they’re happening right now. A smattering of sights and sounds that no one ever needs to see, and certainly not things anyone should have to remember. But I remember them clearly, and I could paint you the most vivid, detailed image of those experiences.

Because they’re not meant to be forgotten.
They’re a part of my story, a piece of who I am.

These moments are meant to catalyze something inside us. To bring us deeper healing, purpose, connection, love, and truth. To show us who our people are, as well as what we’re truly made of.

These moments remind me that life is short and unpredictable, and that we should always fight like hell for what we truly desire. That things are never as simple as they seem on the surface, and that we can never truly understand another person’s path. They taught me to trust myself and my intuition more deeply. And they forced me to learn how to receive support. More than anything though, they taught me what it truly means to be broken, how to rise up stronger than ever before, and that I can survive anything.

To forget these moments wouldn’t serve me.
It certainly wouldn’t serve you either.

Sometimes these moments are meant to make us think or change or learn a lesson, and sometimes they’re designed to break us. Because it’s only by breaking down completely—cracking clean in two—that we’re able to break open to more beauty, passion, and connection. There’s wisdom in our wounds and purpose in our pain. And yeah, sometimes it’s not fun at all.

But those moments I will never forget? They’re the reason I stand here today happier than I’ve ever been in my entire life. More grounded, more peaceful, more open, and more myself. I’ve never felt more free, on purpose, and in love with this beautiful disaster called life.

I don’t ever want to forget.
Not one single moment.

This journey shaped me in ways I will always be grateful for, it shook loose all the people and things that were no longer aligned, and it brought me home to myself, my truth, my calling.

Your journey will too.

But only if you promise to stay the course.
Not to bypass by trying to forget, numb out, or erase it all.

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