I’ve had the answers the whole time.
Throughout all the years I was struggling and seeking and trying to figure things out, the answers were always there, as they usually tend to be. I just had to slow down.
I had to go through a period where everything came to a halt so that I could pause and sit with the questions that had consumed me for so long. I had to stop everything else long enough for the answers to come through.
And the answers have come, one by one, over this past year.
Dropping in with the kind of weight only the deepest truths can have.
I’m grateful for this last season.
It’s been beautifully expansive and exhaustingly confusing in equal measure, filled with momentum and stagnate beyond belief. A whirlwind of change and duality and some of the most profound transformations of my life. Lessons that damn near broke me down completely yet have opened me to necessary awarenesses I couldn’t have otherwise.
There’s so much more work to do.
So much more growth and healing.
So many layers to continue peeling.
“Isn’t it wild?” a sweet, supportive soul asked me as I dug deeper into the areas I felt stuck around, “the level at which we do this work on ourselves is just crazy!”
And it’s true.
Not everyone does this work, and certainly not at this level.
It’s never-ending and challenging in ways that are impossible to describe… but I’ve never regretted it. I’ve never wished I hadn’t done the deeper work, excavating all the old wounding, beliefs, and traumas that have kept me small. And so I’m going even more deeply into this work, figuring out what else needs clearing, where I need to push my growth edges to keep expanding, and who I need to become to have the things my heart and soul desire.
It’s never easy, friends, and there are more layers than we realize when we begin.
But it’s always, always worth it.