No One Gets to Tell You What’s True for You

February 8, 2018

No one gets to tell you what’s true for you. 
No one gets to name what’s good and what’s bad.
No one gets to say what’s whole and what’s broken.
No one gets to label you, or different parts of you.
No one gets to decide anything on your behalf.

They’ll try… oh how I know that they’ll try. 
And they’ll believe they’re right.

Especially if they have “experience” and “knowledge” in their back pocket. Especially when they’ve gone through something similar for themselves. Especially when they’re certain, even if they have no right to be.

Because they don’t.
Not when it comes to you.

No one gets to be certain about you and your life or work or healing. No one but you. It’s actually not possible. No one gets to act smarter or more knowledgeable about your situation. No one knows the full story, the actual experience, or the right process. No one but you.

You know what else they don’t get to do?
Tell you that you’re wrong or crazy or confused.


But some of them still will.

And sometimes they’ll be the people you love and trust with your whole heart. The people who know you better than anyone in the world.

So what do you do?

You root more deeply into yourself and your truth. You have your own back and begin trusting your own inner knowing, no matter what. You learn how to listen and discern between what’s a relevant reflection for you to look at more deeply, and what’s just projected bullshit.

You learn to let go of the hands that held you, when they’re no longer aligned or supportive. When they no longer allow space for who you are and who you’re becoming. You learn how to stand on your own two feet, even if you feel wobbly and uncertain. You keep coming back to what feels true and right and aligned in YOUR heart until you find your own certainty.

And you stop giving a shit.

You don’t become cold or closed, but you stop bending and folding and trying to fit for the sake of someone else’s comfort. You get louder and start taking up more space. You ignore the “rules” and expectations and do what you feel called to do. The things that feel right to you. Because you, my friend, are magic. And you have so much to give to this world.

No one gets to tell you what’s true for you.

I know it’s hard to walk away when that someone is a person you trust and love. I know. I know how hard it is to not listen to someone you respect. I know that so very well. I’ve done it more than once in this life, and the hardest is when you expect more or different or better from them.

And yes, expectation is an invitation for disappointment and resentment.

What I mean is that sometimes people surprise us in ways that are neither happy nor healthy. Sometimes people show us who they really are and what they’re really capable of (or not capable of). Sometimes their own stuff shows up in ways we didn’t see coming, in ways that change the dynamics of the relationship. And that sucks. It hurts. It’s hard.

Trust yourself, friend. 
And choose to have your own back.
Whatever that means for you.

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