Pushing My Edges

October 11, 2017

I’ve been bumping up against a lot of my edges the last few months. Leaning in when I’d rather pull back. Facing forward when I’d rather turn away. Learning new ways of being when I’d rather stay in a familiar groove.

I’m far from graceful in this process.
So very, very far from it.

But I keep showing up. I keep learning new things, all while leaning on my friends and healing team for support. I’m asking the hard questions and cultivating a willingness to sit inside the unknown for waaaaay longer than is comfortable. I’m doing the work, day in and day out.

All because I refuse to settle for a life that’s less than I know I’m capable of living, that’s not fully aligned with what I desire to create. There’s a powerhouse inside me who’s been blocked by trauma and PTSD. While there’s wisdom in waiting for things to unfold as they’re meant to—in allowing the time and space for healing—there’s also power in saying enough is enough and doing the work to create something new, something different, something better.

So, I keep showing up.
I keep pushing my edges.
I keep doing the work.

Hannah Brencher says it beautifully: “The resistance has been there consistently each day. The liars still show up at the door. The thoughts of ‘I can’t do this’ rattle in my brain. But I am doing it. I am walking towards what scares me. I am putting something I love first because I am afraid to wake up one day and realize I only watched but never participated.”

Onward. 💕

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