Reclaiming Parts We Lost Along the Way

October 5, 2021

Reclaiming parts is powerful work.

This is something I’ve been doing slowly over the last six years since loss and trauma turned my world upside down.

It’s not something we can force, though, and that took me time to learn.

Early in my healing, I wanted to reclaim everything about who I was and what my life and work looked like before. I just wanted to go back to how things were. I would have given anything to do this, and that’s precisely why I couldn’t.

The thing about the seasons that shape us so significantly is that it takes time to understand just how much we’ve shifted and changed.

And not only in those moments immediately following challenges and big life transitions, but in the weeks, months, and years to come. It’s frustrating that it takes this long; nobody knows that more than me. But I’m learning that it’s worth the patience (not that I’ve always been the most patient in this process!)

The process of becoming is a long one.

Truthfully, it’s never-ending and continues our entire life.

But in the aftermath of these seasons that shape us, it takes time for many parts of us to reconfigure and settle into their proper place. Some parts are lost for good, as they should be. There are aspects of my old self I doubt I’ll ever see again, which is fine and good now that I’ve revealed more of my truth and purpose and what matters most to me. Those parts are no longer needed, so I don’t hunt them down or waste time trying to fit them back into the puzzle that is who I’ve become.

But some parts are meant to be reclaimed—after enough time has passed and the deeper healing is done.

And sometimes it’s not just reclaiming the parts we lost in certain seasons of living, but aspects of ourselves we forgot as we went to school, grew up, got jobs, and fell into certain relationships. Parts we didn’t feel safe to share and parts that got buried beneath the day-to-day. Parts that never had a chance to fully blossom or develop and parts we hid away and turned into shadow elements.

So how do we reclaim these parts?

It’s not as simple as just “being that way again.”

As much as I’ve sometimes wished it could be. 😅

First, figure out what parts are meant to be reclaimed.

This requires a tremendous amount of self-awareness and discernment because, as I shared above, it’s easy to want to reclaim all the things from who we were before.

But the truth is, some things are meant to fall away. We’re wired for continuous growth, and for that to happen, we have to be willing to let go of what no longer serves us—including parts of ourselves and aspects of personality.

It’s not easy work, I know. But it’s necessary.

So, what genuinely needs to be reclaimed for you to feel fully expressed?

What aspects of your life and self have been on the sidelines for long enough?

What parts do you truly need and desire to step into what’s next?

Second, determine if it’s time to reclaim those parts.

Again, this requires discernment! I’ve known for a while that certain parts I lost need to be reclaimed, but it just hadn’t been time until now. I had to go through some deeper healing work before I could really begin the work of reclaiming.

Sometimes we get the hit to reclaim before we’re ready.

If that feels true for you, just keep holding it in your heart. Keep it in the back of your mind as you continue on your path, beginning to consciously consider how it will look and what it will take to reclaim, as well as why it feels essential. Sometimes we need more awareness and understanding first. Trust your timing.

Third, think about how to integrate rather than “going back.”

If you’re doing the work to reclaim, you’ve changed somewhere along the way. You’ve gone through something, healed old wounds and traumas, or learned and became a new iteration of yourself. There’s no going back to who you were before, so you have to integrate what was with who you’ve become (or are becoming).

You have to find a balance between the old and the new.

What aspects of this old part feel like they should stay the same?

What feels outdated or not quite right, and what would be aligned instead?

How can this old part play nicely with new parts?

What does that look like specifically?

Just remember, reclaiming takes time.

It doesn’t happen all at once because it’s like hopping on a bicycle after years of being away and learning to surf big waves instead. You have a whole new way of being and moving through the world, and it takes some time to find your bearings with the old while figuring out how the new fits into the mix.

Give yourself grace and be patient with the process.

If you need help, book a consultation with me!

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