Stop Looking for a Guru

December 13, 2016

“According to that book,” he started, “I need to feel…”

“Don’t say it that way,” I responded. “Read the book, hear the words, and then decide what feels right for YOU from there. Don’t just say that you need something because a book said you do.”

As I’m writing these words to you, I’m frustrated.
Deeply, deeply frustrated.

I’m frustrated as I watch people blindly latch onto “truths” and “wisdom” because someone wrote a book, or they just like and respect them. I’m frustrated as I watch “experts” take their own fears and beliefs and project them onto someone else, all in the name of “teaching.” I’m frustrated by the empty, polished “insights” get recited and recycled to the masses, without any awareness of how it may land.

Please hear me when I say this:
You don’t need a guru outside yourself.

You don’t need someone or something to give you the answers. To tell you what’s right and wrong, what you need and don’t. You don’t need a book, a podcast, a wise man, or a religious tradition.

Do these people and frameworks provide opportunities to learn and grow? Yes. Do they provide wisdom and insight and information that’s helpful and soulful and filled with guidance? Absolutely.


Anyone — mentor, coach, teacher, leader, priest, author, or guru — who isn’t teaching you to trust yourself and your intuition first and foremost is doing you an incredible disservice. Period.

If you’re a mentor, coach, teacher, leader, priest, author, or self-proclaimed guru and you’re not teaching people to trust themselves and their intuition first and foremost, you’re doing an incredible disservice.


I stand firmly rooted in this position. Because there’s no “one size fits all” to building loving relationships, healing from loss, uncovering your passions, cultivating spirituality, building a business, or anything else. There’s just not. This world is made up of far too many beautifully unique individuals having a complete different experience, with a compeltely different set of beliefs, values, and vision.

I start every single workshop with the same introduction:

“You might be wondering, ‘who is this woman and why should I listen to her,’ and the answer is that you shouldn’t. What I teach is how to trust yourself and your intuition above all else, and while I’ll be giving you tools and resources and frameworks for growth, you should take only what resonates for YOU.”

I believe in this with my whole heart and soul.
Take only what resonates for you.

Learn to discern between what’s aligned and true for you and what’s not. Learn to filter what resonates with your heart and what doesn’t. Learn to absorb only the information that considers where you’re at, who you are, and what you’re working to create.

This doesn’t mean “ignore things that you don’t want to hear because they’re hard or uncomfortable or not something you want to do.”

No, not at all.

It simply means:
Trust yourself first.
Hone your intuition.
Know yourself fully.

And don’t listen to anyone imparting “wisdom” at you that isn’t considering these aspects too.

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