The Not Knowing Is the Hardest Part

August 25, 2017

The not knowing is the hardest part.

Being surrounded by so many pretty, polished sound bites… ringing loudly with the kind of truth that never quite lands for you and your life. The favorite sayings that hang so beautifully in the air, yet feel so empty and irrelevant. Spilling from the mouths of people you may love and respect, yet there’s no resonance whatsoever. It can be maddening, really. Because despite all the wisdom bombs exploding around you, you still have no idea what to do.

The not knowing comes from not trusting yourself fully.

Sometimes that means you’re ignoring that tiny intuitive whisper you already know is there… and sometimes it means you’ve broken that trust with yourself so deeply that you’re no longer able to feel into what comes next. What’s right and what’s wrong. What’s true and what’s not.

I get it, because I’m learning to truly trust in areas where I’ve betrayed and abandoned myself in the past. And inside of that learning I’m having to ask MYSELF the hard questions… no one else. Questions that require me to see where I may be choosing the kind of bliss that’s born from ignorance, because I’d rather not look deeper and see what’s sitting just below the surface. To see where I may be choosing “ease” rather than choosing to see and do the real work, because that work may be challenging and uncomfortable… even gut wrenchingly painful. And also to see where I may be barreling forward when what I really need is to pause and take space.

There’s only one way to know:
Rebuild and strengthen that trust with YOURSELF.
Day by day, choice by choice.

As Danielle LaPorte writes, “take what you want and leave the rest. There is no ideology or teacher who is one hundred percent right. Even though they may be vastly, deeply experienced, experience is based on the past. We can’t always look for precedent to inform our future. How they did it, what worked then… that was them then, this is you in the now.”

This is YOUR journey to navigate, no one else’s.


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