Trauma Shapes Us
Trauma shapes us.
I became a car girl for many reasons. Because I was “daddy’s little girl” and my daddy was very into classic cars. Because boys liked it and it made me different than the other girls. Because I liked them and was skilled at maneuvering.
But the truth is, trauma led me down the car girl path. I became daddy’s little girl to stay safe. I amplified the aspects of my personality that boys found interesting to feel lovable and worthy. And ultimately, loving classic cars, racing, and all things speed became a part of who I am.
I still love cars.
I’d make an excellent stunt driver.
And one day I’ll race on real courses.
Yet, in healing my relationship trauma, I’ve begun to see what’s inherent to who I am and where I’ve been shaped by experience.
Trauma shapes our preferences and personalities. There are things I don’t like because of traumatic experiences, and even as I’ve healed and grown, those preferences remain a part of who I am. It’s bittersweet at times. Having a love for things and knowing that it came from trying to stay safe. Disliking something and never knowing how you’d really feel if trauma never happened.
It’s a curious experience to be human because we all have trauma. And often we don’t even realize it, let alone how it shapes our preferences, personalities, and beliefs about the world.
Trauma shapes us.
And there’s a lot of freedom to be found in understand how.
