Visibility in 2019

October 21, 2018

My word for 2019 is visibility.

I hate it. 😉

Despite how it may appear on social media, I’m much more content to exist behind the scenes, out of sight, and quietly in the background. But, that’s not what my work is asking of me. It’s asking me to show up and have very specific conversations in my relationships, my business, and the world. Really hard, challenging, important conversations. It’s asking me to go bigger… to show up and use my words on an entirely different stage.

If it’s true that “everything happens for a reason,” then the last 3-4 years of living, loving, and losing have prepared me for this next year… this next layer of my work. 2015, 2016, and 2017 stripped me of anything and everything that wouldn’t serve me as I began the painstaking process of really stepping into who I’m here to be and the work I’m here to do. They broke me down in ways I wasn’t sure I could survive, and they also built me up in ways I will forever be grateful for.

My word for 2018 was devotion. I thought it would be about producing very specific projects, but instead it was about doing the work to further untangle myself from all the relationships, ways of being, and baggage that was still keeping me small. I threw myself wholeheartedly into every challenging conversation and every painful piece of the healing process. I’m not where I want to be with some of my projects, but I see now that this was a necessary first step.

I learned several years back that I don’t actually have any say around what my guiding word will mean for me, my life, my work, or my relationships. None whatsoever. It chooses me and I’m just along for the wild and beautiful ride, so long as I’m willing to surrender in total faith. Turns out devotion meant a deeper commitment to creating an environment that is capable of cultivating what comes next.

That doesn’t stop me from doing the all-important work of getting clear on what I want. Which is what I’ve been doing this weekend. I moved to the mountains so that I could spend more time in nature… and so that I would have the time and space to create what I know I need to create next.