What if It’s Not Your Trauma?

July 22, 2021

Maybe it’s not that you have trauma getting in the way; it’s just that they’re not the right person for you to go there with.

Maybe it’s not that you don’t want to do fun things or never have the energy; it’s just the wrong situation or relationship.

Maybe it’s not that you’re overwhelmed or overstimulated; it’s just not a place you’re comfortable or want to be.

It’s easy to blame our stuff (and even easier for other people to blame it too).

Sometimes it’s true, yes.

But that’s not always the case.

Not long ago, I realized that I always thought I was too tired or stressed to do things with a particular person, but that was never true. It was actually my body and nervous system saying, “this isn’t someone we can feel relaxed with, and it’ll just feel hard and heavy.”

There was also a time when I believed I couldn’t do certain things because of my trauma, but that was also never true. It was just that I didn’t feel entirely safe and connected, or the situation never felt natural and easy.

Sometimes it’s our stuff.

Sometimes it’s the wrong situation or person.

Sometimes we just don’t want something.

Discernment and self-awareness are the only way to know for sure, and there’s no one outside of us that ever gets the final say.

Tune in and honor your truth.

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