If I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to.
These lyrics from the song Breathe (2AM) by Anna Nalick couldn’t ring truer to what I experienced recently. On a recent Friday, I began wrestling with feelings of depression and frustration. Depression mainly because of the oil spill and feeling as if I’m wasting time working on projects that don’t matter. Frustration from caring so deeply, yet feeling so far off course.
By that following Sunday I was a big heap of stress. I was tense, physically feeling the symptoms of a heavy heart and awfully quiet. I was “inside myself” sorting through things. Well, less sorting and more trying to make sense out of the cluttered thoughts…
What can be most troublesome to me is knowing that I have within me the power to make an enormous impact on the world yet feeling as if I’m unable to move forward on the projects and ideas for how to do that. I’m blocked creatively, and for me, being creative means creating art, writing, businesses and design. That’s a big chunk of blocked outlets.
So I wrote. Inspired from reading Julia Cameron’s book Floor Sample: A Creative Memoir, I sat down and wrote three pages in addition to my Morning Pages.
Thanks to these Morning Pages (one of two basic tools from The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity program that I’m working through), I was able to write about much more than the happenings of my day or the petty thoughts that we all have… I was able to tap that deeper source within me, and while what came out was by no means great, or even rough draft worthy, they were words that needed to come out. Ideas that needed to be expanded upon. By putting my words to paper, I allowed those ideas to grow and more words began to flow.
I woke up that next Monday morning in a brighter place. I felt light and as if I had done some healing. The day seemed glorious and I was bubbly and energetic. I continued writing for the next few days and continued to feel a sense of inner peace and being content.
Just like the lyrics say, if I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to. The next time that you’re feeling frustration or finding yourself blocked, give writing a try. Just sit down and write what comes to you. If you’re like me, you may need to do morning pages each day to put aside the insignificant thoughts and ramblings so that you can get to what’s really eating at you.