“You have to…” they said, shocked that I had no interest in doing the thing most people do. As innocent as it was, it was also laced with shame and judgement around what is and is not acceptable while being a human in the world. But this time was different. This time the words didn’t land heavy on my heart, they didn’t trigger me to shut down, and they didn’t cause me to alter my state.
“I actually don’t have to do anything,” I shrugged in reply.
The moment itself was insignificant. It passed so quickly I don’t even think they heard what I said. But that moment was also everything important… to me, my healing, my growth. It was another one of those tiny, impactful moments in time where I reclaimed my voice. My right to have desires and needs. My right to do or not do based on what felt true and aligned for me.
I actually don’t have to do anything.
I don’t have to call you back if I don’t want to.
I don’t have to run my business the way others do.
I don’t have to say yes to that “opportunity.”
I don’t have to want what you want.
I don’t have to be in relationships that don’t feel good.
I don’t have to explain or defend myself.
I don’t have to caretake someone’s ego.
I don’t have to bend or fold or try to fit.
Everything changed in that moment. The whole world shifted beneath me and everything became clear. Having what we desire… bringing our big visions to life… making all the money and having all the impact… being in relationship with the right person… having that soul family of friends who get us…
It’s simple. It’s easy. It’s right in front of us ALL THE TIME.
But we overcomplicate it.
We go into stories based on past experiences. We spiral out from fears that are rooted in old wounds and traumas. We stop short because we don’t want to be judged based on shame and rejections that broke us years ago. We alter our states because we were punished or abandoned once before.
We get in the way.
Life happens. It’s literally always happening as long as our eyes are open and our hearts are beating. It’s happening right now. Life happens and then we give it meaning. Those meanings and interpretations are based on the past.
We define our lives and limitations based on things that have no relevance to the moment in front of us other than the relevance we CHOOSE to give them.
Everything that happens is just information… that’s it.
And while we’re busy giving everything outdated meaning, everything we desire is right in front of us. We just have to claim it and take the next step.
No limiting beliefs.
No interpretations from the past.
You decide what you want or don’t want… then you either do things or you don’t. That’s it. That’s literally all there is to creating what you desire.
If you’re stuck, stalled out, blocked, or afraid, you’re not in this moment, because it’s only by being in the moment that you can KNOW what to do next. It’s only by being present in your body that you can act in alignment with what you want, because when you’re present in your body you can’t possibly be in the past.
I know it doesn’t always feel that simple.
Believe me, I know… especially with trauma.
That said, this is also true of trauma. Trauma by definition is rooted in the past. Trauma overrides the nervous system and causes our brain to actually blend past and present experiences—which is why we freeze and panic and respond as if it’s happening now. But even trauma is just information. I healed my brain from PTSD by acknowledging that it didn’t work anymore. I couldn’t remember anything. I couldn’t work or function. When I stepped out of the story that “omg, I’ll never be the same again,” that information told me I needed to learn something… I needed to take the necessary steps to heal. So I did. And I kept taking those next steps until my brain started working again. I still take them.
What we want is always right in front of us. Our next step is always clear, even if it’s just “get clarity on x, y, z.” We literally just have to do or not do things based on what we want.
So, what’s the story that’s coming up right now?
What’s the insight and information that story is giving you?
More importantly, what are you going to do about it now?
Remember, it’s a choice.
It always is, it always has been.