Freedom is my highest value, but lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what comes after that: truth.
Honesty. Transparency. Authenticity. Integrity.
Learning how to step into a deeper level of truth-telling in 2014 (the year I chose ‘truth’ as my guiding word) changed everything about my life and my work. It shifted my relationships in ways good and hard. It revealed what was already broken, released all that needed to be let go, and catapulted me into a kind of expansion I will never forget.
It was painfully hard.
Exhausting and terrifying.
I would repeat, “truth, truth, truth” to myself over and over as I threw myself head first into the most uncomfortable conversations. As I made bold requests and demands of the people around me, as well as in my work. As I started untangling myself from the age-old habit of bending and folding for the sake of other people’s comfort.
I’ve had some of the most gut-wrenchingly honest conversations since then… about grief and loss, trauma and abuse, love and relationships, fear and desire, heartbreak and fulfillment. I’ve shared more and more of myself with my clients, through my words and in my work.
I value truth so much.
Yet I’m reminded lately how terrifying truth still is to so many people. Because sometimes telling the truth leads to loss. And when that’s the case, more often than not, many will choose to withhold, tell white lies, or flat out manipulate the truth in order to keep from experiencing the pain and heartache of that loss.
They’ll even go so far as to lie to themselves.
I don’t want this for my life and relationships, and I don’t want it for you. Telling the truth is hard, yes. It leads to loss at times, for sure. It can feel like more pain and work that it’s worth, I get it. But truth is freedom. It’s freedom of knowing what’s real, where you stand, what’s going on, and what comes next.
Tell the truth, friends.
Even when it’s painful.
Especially when it’s hard.