“I don’t care,” he said, shrugging. “It’s whatever.”
“You do care,” I replied. “It’s dripping off of you.”
But he couldn’t see that. He was too busy being “happy” and “good vibes only” to realize he wasn’t actually happy. He was hurt and pissed, but instead of feeling that… he made me wrong. He made my desire to feel and connect inconvenient and problematic.
But here’s the thing…
I’m not afraid of being “too much” anymore. I’m afraid of being anything but. I’m not afraid of being “too feeling” in a world that is so terrified of feeling anything but “happy” and “positive” and “good vibes only” that it’s literally killing us all slowly. You can stuff and avoid all you want, but those emotions are wrecking havoc on your body in ways you don’t always see until it’s too late.
Being “strong,” stuffing my emotions down, dismissing my experience, and compromising myself for the sake of someone else’s comfort nearly killed me. Literally. Feeling my feelings fully is what’s made me so happy and in love with this sometimes awful, often tragic, beautiful mess of a life.
I watch people take pride in being strong… in smiling and “staying positive” no matter what happens. As if being sad, frustrated, or downright angry is bad or wrong. Those feelings are healthy and normal and all things good—WHEN WE FEEL THEM ALL THE WAY THROUGH. When we fully experience and express them in healthy ways. When we release them.
If you’re afraid to feel your feelings and talk about what’s hard and challenging… we’re not going to get along. Because this is a huge part of my life, work, and way of being in the world, and I plan on getting far more vocal about it. If you think this has no relevance to the work you do, you’re wrong. If you can’t feel your feelings, you can’t show up fully. You will always be stifled and stiff, and you certainly won’t be able to meet your people where they’re at and truly serve them. It impacts every area of your life, especially your health.
Feelings are life.
Feel them all the way through.