It’s Hard to Begin Again

October 27, 2017

It’s hard to be a beginner again.

The last few years were a slow shedding of that which no longer serves me so I could begin stepping into what comes next. I started a new body of work where there’s still so much for me to learn. I’ve been stepping into entirely new ways of being and creating completely different relationships… so far from what I’ve ever experienced before. And I’ve been doing the work to let go of the deep rooted patterns and beliefs that have run me my entire life.

I’ve felt fumbly inside it all.
Confused and often uncertain.
So very far from graceful.
And, at times, even stagnant.

Everything took longer than I wanted it to. Things were hard and frustrating and inconsistent. There was a new, steep learning curve around every corner. There’s been so much surrender to the unknown. SO. MUCH. SURRENDER. And there’s been a lot of questions that still have no answers… at least not yet.

I was rocking my life and work before everything turned upside down. And the last year especially has felt like I’m starting over in so many ways… even if that’s not true. Even if much of what I did before carries forward.

Being a beginner isn’t fun.
But it’s necessary to becoming a master.
Of anything and everything.
And we ALL start somewhere.

So… I lean in.
I keep learning.
I keep showing up.
I keep doing the work.

And I let go of the belief that I need to know it all now. Life and purpose require a process of endlessly unfolding slowly over time. I’ve learned to trust more deeply in that process.


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