My worth, truth, and sense of self aren’t on the table for anyone else to define.
People have their experience of me, and they have every right to the story they tell or the way they decide to see me in their journey. Just like I have my experience of them and have every right to the story I tell too.
Experience is complex, which makes so much of what we consider truth subjective. That’s just the nature of being human.
(And friends, I’m talking about experience and perception here, not science.)
Someone recently reflected their perception of me, which would’ve thrown me for a loop in my earlier years. I would’ve felt a need to argue, prove them wrong, and do whatever it took to feel worthy of them.
I can see that their experience is what it is, based on their lens, beliefs, personality, and context. I can discern where there’s something for me to look at (even if I really don’t want to see it) while discarding the things that don’t feel aligned. I know it’s their truth, but it’s not The Truth about me, just like mine isn’t The Truth about them.
We’re all living in alternate realities while occupying the same space. Honor that, and don’t waste your time trying to get anyone to see you differently than they’ve decided to. Focus your time, attention, and energy on living aligned with what feels right for you. Be willing to take an honest look at other people’s reflections or feedback and do the work to heal and grow where needed, but never let anyone else define you.
Only you know for sure what’s true for you.
Stay focused on yourself and what you’re working to create. Let people have their stories and their truth, and keep focusing on who you’re becoming. No one said you had to be perfect; you just have to keep doing to work to heal and grow. Keep showing up, keep trying again, keep aligning yourself with what’s most important for you.
Let the rest fall away.