In December of 2014, I knew in my bones that I was approaching what I’d dubbed in my journal, “a great awakening.”
I didn’t have any idea what it meant, but I could hear the invitation of my soul: expand, more than you’ve ever expanded before. I could feel big shifts in my business brewing… a pull to show up and step out into the world in a bigger way… and I was desiring things I’d never allowed myself to desire.
But I wasn’t ready to claim any of it fully. In fact, for my entire life, my pattern was always to approach any change or growth cautiously. Slowly, internally, quietly. I hid things from the outside world until I was certain of what I was doing and solid in my why, because putting it out there wasn’t safe.
There were severe consequences for going against the grain, having needs and desires, and speaking my truth. So much so, I used to write in secret. I’d journal at school or while my college boyfriend was showering or at work. I blogged anonymously for several years in my 20s, and continued to keep my journals safely tucked away. I didn’t share myself, my thoughts, or my big “aha” moments because it wasn’t safe to show up. Literally, physically, and emotionally unsafe.
In Journey Mapping™, there are two major choice points we bump up against on our paths… and refusing the invitation of our souls—our “call to adventure” as Joseph Campbell calls it—is the most common place we get stuck.
Because we’re refusing to even lean in at the very beginning.
We say no.
We avoid it altogether.
We don’t acknowledge the tiny whispers.
We decide it’s not practical or realistic.
We pass up the opportunity.
We don’t say yes to the invitation.
We pretend it’s not important to us.
We go back to what’s safe and familiar.
Or, like me…
We resist and slow the process down.
Little did I know, I really didn’t have a say in the matter. Life was going to do what life was going to do, and someone I loved was about to turn my whole world inside out… whether I was ready or not.
When it comes to this first choice point, the reason we stop is always fear.
We hear the call, feel the tug, acknowledge the desire… and we shut it down. I can list a thousand wonderful, well-thought out, and highly justifiable reasons why myself, my friends, and my clients have said no to the invitations of our souls… and every single one is rooted in fear.
What I know to be true is that when you hear a call, feel a tug, or acknowledge a deep desire, what you want or what is being asked of you is already possible…it already exists. But possibility is not a promise, it’s a call to action. You have to trust yourself enough to take the next step towards calling it into reality right now… and doing so requires a level of trust and faith that we’re never taught.
It requires a willingness to walk away from the ways of being, relationships, and communities that are comfortable and known… and to wander, somewhat aimlessly, in the opposite direction with total faith that something better exists… something we’ve never seen or experienced before.
We have to trust ourselves to make it happen.
Again, this isn’t something we’re taught. Even if you grew up in a religion that preached faith (like I did), you’re never actually shown HOW to cultivate faith for yourself… let alone in a way that feels aligned and true for YOU.
The more I’ve developed my own sense of trust and faith, the more able I am to lean wholeheartedly into the unknown. To throw myself fully into creating what I desire, without any proof that I’m going to make it happen. And I keep leaning in with that sense of blind trust and faith, no matter how many times I fall flat on my face or how spectacularly I fail, until what I desire is a reality.
I trust myself and my desires enough to never give up.
What does faith mean to you? And what’s the current invitation of your soul? Do you trust yourself enough to say yes and start leaning in?