“Use me up and spit me out” was a prayer I released to the universe repeatedly in those early months after my loss.
If I was going to walk through hell on earth, I wanted it to be for some greater good beyond me and my little life. If this loss and trauma were going to crack me clean in two until every last bit of my heart was in pieces on the floor, I wanted it to be of use to someone else.
Living my lessons out loud has long been a calling and commitment of mine, which is why I wrote Unravel. It’s why I shared the hardest, most gut-wrenching moments of my journey for others to consume, judge, and do with them what they will.
This book baby—this collection of stories that tell the tale of the most challenging season of my life—has been out in the world for three years this month. It wasn’t my first book, but it was my first memoir. It was the first time I stretched myself to write beyond blog posts and Instagram captions. The first time I shared the many details that were deeply vulnerable, revealing, and even (at times) highly questionable and downright illegal.
But the journey could only be what it could be, and I’m the person I am today because of each and every choice along the way. Because I made the decision to rise up and come back after a season of living that damn near killed me, a season that asked more from me than I knew I had to give.
Healing isn’t linear, and sometimes it gets worse before it gets better. Sometimes you have to break what hasn’t broken all the way through so that you can begin to mend, and Unravel is a testimony of these truths.
I’ll never be grateful for this loss or the traumas that followed, but I’ll always be thankful for how I chose to let them shape me. For who I chose to become in the aftermath and everything I rebuilt in my life, my business, and myself.
Healing is always possible, friend.
And we’re never alone in how messy, disorienting, and challenging it is. We’re never the only ones going through, facing, or feeling something that seems so impossible and overwhelming we’re certain it’ll consume us.
If you’re in the messy middle of your journey, you can grab a copy of Unravel here. It’s supported so many sweet souls worldwide while navigating their own healing. It’s not a light or easy read, but it’s an honest one. And I continue to live my lessons out loud and share my process to show that not only is healing possible, but you can be infinitely happier, healthier, and more aligned for having done it.
There are still so many stories I have to tell you from this season and the ones before, but those will live in my next book. A book I’m writing while still living out the ending to. But believe me when I tell you… the ending is truly spectacular, and I’m so grateful to every younger version of me who did the deeper work to align me with this storyline I get to experience now. It’s something special.
PS—if you’ve read Unravel, it would mean the world to me if you left a review on Amazon so that it can reach more people who need it!