Why You Can’t Have Your Old Life Back after a Devastating Loss

January 24, 2020

In my deepest, darkest hours, I remember desperately wanting to have my old life back. The life that made sense, that I had worked so hard to create, and where I was beginning to see the kind of momentum and success I desired… even if I wasn’t always 100% happy or feeling fully aligned and expressed.

So why couldn’t things go back to the way they used to be?
Why couldn’t I have my old life back?

Well, once we experience certain things in life… grief, trauma, loss, heartbreak, big life transitions, and all the moments that shake us to our core and alter who we are… there’s no going back. There’s no “being who you were before” or “having your old life” just because you desire it. You’re not that person any more… and even if your life turns into something similar to what it was, it will never be the same path.

That’s why the fall’s not the hardest part – the journey back is. 

Trying to go back to your old life as it was no longer makes sense. It’s no longer possible. The only thing left to do is reorient to your life, work, and relationships from who you are now, as well as from who you are becoming in the aftermath of everything you’ve walked through.

That’s not always the easiest, most pleasant experience… but you owe it to yourself to lean into the work, the new path, the new way of being. It may not be what you hoped it would be before everything turned upside down, but it can become something wonderful if you’re willing to face forward fully and completely.

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