I often get emails from wonderful people asking if I can help them figure out what they’re meant to do in this life. Each with a unique (yet similar) story about loss, life getting in the way, being stuck, or a hardship that’s taken them down the wrong path. I feel so much love for each of these individuals because I get it. I’ve been there.
I remember countless tears, nights spent questioning everything about my life, moments of panic as I realized how far off course I was, and moments of debilitating terror as I simultaneously realized I had no idea what “on course” actually was.
I just knew I was lost.
Doing the wrong work.
Lacking passion and purpose.
Living a life that wasn’t for me.
Swimming in fear, doubt and confusion.
All I knew was I wanted to make a difference in this world and that I was meant for something more. I tried to take the life I’d built and cram it into the few things I did know… I tried to make a design business that didn’t light me up have meaning and purpose. I tried to convince myself that I was doing work that made a difference. I tried so hard to avoid admitting that I was as far off course as I was.
But the fact remained, there’s only one way to find your purpose and passion, and only one way to build a life and career/business you love.
You have to get honest with yourself. Really, truly honest.
What I’ve learned in this life is that we always know who we’re here to be and the work we’re meant to do. We know what we’re passionate about and we know our purpose. It’s imprinted in the fibers of our being and written in our soul.
The problem isn’t “finding” our passion or purpose, it’s uncovering it. It’s digging deep below the have to dos, should dos, external expectations, pressures of society, limiting beliefs and getting really honest.
Getting honest isn’t as simple or easy as it sounds. In fact, it’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever do in this life. Because oftentimes getting honest means admitting that you’ve built a life, career, relationship or business that doesn’t really serve you. You’ve poured time and energy into something that doesn’t light you up and fulfill you on all levels. You’ve abandoned your truth, neglected to set boundaries, or followed a path someone else set for you despite the fact it wasn’t what you wanted.
None of this is easy to admit, even to ourselves. Even in the private pages of our journals or in the whispers of our soul. Even the idea of letting these truths surface is so terrifying that many of us work as hard as we can to avoid getting still. Because when we’re still, we’re quiet… and when we’re quiet, all there is to hear is our soul speak.
Our souls never lead us astray, ever.
Our souls are nothing but honest with us.
They tell us exactly what we don’t want to hear.
But they also tell us exactly what we need to hear.
They tell us to leave when a relationship is wrong. They tell us to shift when a job or business isn’t fulfilling. They tell us to explore and experiment with random things that will give us the lessons and experiences we need to grow. They tell us to leap when all rational signs say to stay put, and they tell us to change when all logic says things are perfectly fine. Our souls push us in ways we’re just not comfortable with.
So we bury our truth, fall in line, and continue building lives that we don’t love. Simply because we’re scared to admit that we might want something different.
My challenge to you is to get still and quiet. Meditate, pray, or go for a walk without your phone, music or any other distraction. Give yourself the time and space to be with your soul in silence. Allow your truth to start surfacing… because as much as you may wish there’s a magic pill, worksheet or finger snap that will make you suddenly love your life without having to get uncomfortable, it’s not going to happen.
I’ve had many uncomfortable and hard conversations since I started this journey. I’ve left jobs and relationships, learned to stand firm in my beliefs and boundaries, and had to voice my truth and desires in situations where it would’ve been easier to stay quiet. I’ve made massive changes to myself, my relationships, my business and my life… all because I got still, heard my soul speak, and honored it.