I’m “Dark and Twisty” to My Core

February 14, 2023

People often tell me that they see and appreciate how bright and joyful I am.

Truth be told, it always gives me pause because it’s not how I experience myself or this life. I’m “dark and twisty” to my core, frequently immersed in what’s hard and what hurts.

To be inside my mind and heart is to know that I’m almost always holding the heaviness of this human existence: loss and trauma, systems and the harm they cause, depression and suicide rates, and the endless horrors that make our world a terrifying space to occupy.

Almost. Always.

I come from darkness—first and foremost.

I just transmute it rapidly into beautiful things.

I take what’s hard and what hurts, and I create meaning that propels me forward in fulfilling ways. I let it fuel a divine rage and fury in my heart, and that allows me to stay focused on what and who is most important.

I’m not afraid of what’s heavy because my joy and light are birthed directly from it. What makes me bright and shiny is actually all that’s dark, messy, hard, and intense.

Because I know how to transmute it.

I know how to change it from one form to another and to use it in such a way that it elevates and enhances my experience (and the experiences of others).

Transmutation is something I’ve felt called to teach these past several months. It’s a topic we touched on in Actualize, but the process itself is far bigger than a single conversation. It’s an art, a way of being, and a muscle that must be developed with intention. One that requires the capacity to feel our feelings fully, especially those that are confronting and contractive. It’s a skill that anyone can develop and put into practice when they’re willing to face what feels most uncomfortable.

It’s not something everyone will choose to do, but in avoiding it, they don’t actually experience more of what they seek. Instead, they actively limit their capacity for all that’s expansive, beautiful, and good.

A new masterclass is coming.

Hop on my list below so you get first dibs and special pricing!

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