I asked to be guided, and the universe led me straight into a wall.
A massive subconscious stopper and kill switch for my energy and inspiration, leaving me in a mess of tears and feeling an old frustration I couldn’t quiet.
But rather than tell stories and make it mean that something’s wrong, life doesn’t support me, or I’m incapable of having what I want, I press forward into that wall because I know it’s a gift. I know it’s simply an old stored trauma asking to be healed, a sore spot in my soul that wants to be soothed.
When triggers happen, it’s simply our nervous system letting us know what’s there that’s stored and ready to be healed.
But we can’t heal and grow how we need if we’re unwilling to feel and face into what’s hard and what hurts. If we’re unwilling to drop into the depths of ourselves to untangle what’s blocking our ability to move how we need to move to create what we desire.
Grief taught me to feel more fully.
It was this immense, unending wave of intense emotion that I truly thought would consume me. The rage was real, and the sadness would swallow me up, but I instinctually continued leaning in. I gave myself the gift of feeling fully and completely until every last drop of emotion had moved through and out of me. And because of this, not a single drop of grief from my loss got stored in my body. Not a single block was formed because I processed it all in real-time.
So when I’m guided straight into a wall, I know it’s a gift. I know that something old and heavy has been stored in my cells from a time I couldn’t feel or process fully. From beliefs that formed due to challenging chapters and all the traumas along the way.
I know the wall is there because something is ready to be cleared. And if the wall is on the path I’m led to walk, then I must work with it. I must summon the courage to press into it to dissolve it entirely so that I can be free to move how I need to move.
Stories don’t serve us unless it’s one that keeps us in motion. Next time you hit a wall, what story will you tell? And will it be one that names the wall as the gift it is, giving you the leverage to work with it to find true freedom?