I’ve Been Learning to Ask For Help

April 12, 2022

I’ve been learning to ask for help.

Deeper levels of support, guidance, and care.

A lifelong lesson, to be sure.

While some will argue with me, moving to the mountains four years ago was one of the best decisions of my life. I needed to be alone to learn to hear myself again. I needed less convenience so I could discover just how capable I am. I needed time away to uncover and integrate some of my most crucial lessons.

I got what I wanted.

I was alone, even inside my relationship. I navigated down dusty back roads and through challenges that taught me just how strong I am. I learned lessons and experienced growth that completely rerouted my life and work.

“I can take care of myself,” I said to a friend recently, “but I don’t want to anymore.”

I want to be in the care of others.

I want to build a support system.

I want to feel like I’m part of a family.

I want a partner to have in my corner.

I want to have helping hands all around.

I can do things alone, and I’ve spent most of my life proving that I’m a strong, independent woman. And while I may have given a plethora of justifiable reasons for this, the truth is that I chose a path of independence to stay safe. That way I wouldn’t owe anyone anything, have it held over my head, or “pay for it” in ways that beat me down and broke my spirit.

Trauma taught me independence, a lesson that’s served me at different points.

Healing continues to teach me that support, care, love, and connection are crucial to living the life I desire to live.

To have it, I have to look at my own way of being, loving, caring, and showing up. I have to become the person who aligns with those support systems and communities. I have to deepen my healing and accelerate my growth. And that, of course, requires asking for help, leaning on the wisdom and guidance of trusted friends, family, mentors, and more.