Break Free From the Shackles of Fear and Shame

July 18, 2022

When I was writing Unravel, it was a genuinely tender and vulnerable time.

Pouring my heart onto the page, telling stories that few had ever heard, and knowing that certain people wouldn’t like the things I had to share to tell the story I needed to tell.

I chose three people to help edit the very first draft. People who knew me and my voice but would give honest feedback before rolling it out to a few different professional editors.

They all had thoughts and opinions.

They all had parts they felt didn’t make sense.

They all had questions they believed should be answered.

They all had sections they didn’t like or encouraged me to rewrite.

And some edited my grammar very, very heavily.

I listened to a good amount of the feedback and ignored quite a bit, especially grammar edits that would have formed more “proper” sentences but stripped my unique style, cadence, and voice.

I had intense discussions with one editor about my perspective, things I was choosing to dance around vs. outright share, and some of the lessons I’d included—things they felt triggered by or strongly disagreed with.

But I didn’t wobble or waiver at all.

Not once did I question the book, the way I’d written it, or what I’d chosen to share. Not once did I allow someone’s personal preference or opinion to influence what I believed needed to be a part of the book. Not once did my wound of feeling deeply misunderstood surface.

Not. Once.

I was honestly surprised at this because writing any book—especially a memoir about trauma and loss and all the wild and crazy things I walked through in those challenging years—is literally offering the most intimate and tender parts of yourself for the world to consume and judge.

But I’d done so much processing to heal that I’d made peace with the journey I walked and the decisions/mistakes I’d made. I’d done so much work to clear the trauma, unresolved grief, and debilitating fears. I knew my voice and my way of writing and storytelling. I knew the power of my words when I showed up as honestly and transparently as possible.

So even when people misunderstood me, my journey, and my book—I never once questioned or doubted myself, changed anything that didn’t feel aligned, or felt shame for being judged and misinterpreted.

Not. Once.

And that book—that messy, imperfect, grammatically incorrect, and sometimes misinterpreted book—has helped so many people worldwide.

The world needs you, your stories, and your work, whatever those things look like for you. The world needs you to show up, expand, and give your gifts freely and unapologetically. It needs your fullest expression.

You can’t do that when you crumble at the slightest whiff of being misunderstood or judged. You can’t do that when you’re afraid of what other people will think or how they may wrongly perceive you. You can’t do that if you’re watering yourself down to be palatable to everyone you meet.

You have to know yourself and your truth.

You have to show up fully expressed and aligned.

You have to contribute in the ways that you feel called.

Join me Wednesday, July 28th at 7pm ET for the Misunderstood Masterclass and group process so that you have the freedom and leverage to be the person you’re here to be—free from the shackles of fear and shame for good.

This class will change your life.

Link in bio. 💜

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