Last January, I walked through a series of crazy-making highs and lows with a particular person.
The experience was so absurd and chaotic during a time when I was already actively bottoming out at the depths of my wounding that something snapped in me.
I’ve shared this experience with very few people because it sounds as crazy as it felt.
What started as a panic attack, the worst I’d had in years, turned into a perpetual state of vibration in my body. Much of the time, I would actively tremble and shake, and sometimes the vibration was only internal but intense enough that I felt like I was standing at the epicenter of an earthquake.
It persisted day and night.
Energy flowing out of me so violently that functioning was a ridiculous feat.
I’m not sure I can say exactly what happened, but I do know this: it’s when I finally began to heal at a level I could never reach before.
The absurdity of those January experiences caused a tremendous amount of stored trauma to move out of me rapidly over several weeks. As the vibrations and shaking slowly dissipated, my strength returned. I started remembering who I am and what my purpose is. I began reclaiming the aspects of self and energy necessary to build a life that felt like mine. I found the courage to close out chapters, say no to misaligned people, and really, truly let go of everything that no longer served me. I leapt into so many unknowns wholeheartedly and with a newfound sense of deep, unwavering trust.
So much of last year was insanely painful, and I mean it with my whole heart when I say I’m so grateful everything happened how it did.
Was there an easier path to where I am now?
But the experiences of 2021 that briefly bleed into this year broke me in places where I needed to come completely undone in order to truly heal. They cracked me open in such a way that everything stored in my cells finally moved out, and I stepped into entirely new ways of being. I became happier, healthier, and more aligned than ever before.
I say “grateful for the journey” quite often, but that’s an understatement.
It will never do it justice.
So instead, I continue facing forward and giving everything I have to bring all my big, impossible desires to life rapidly. Instead, I intend to become an example of what’s possible when we’re willing to dig into our healing and growth with even more commitment and courage than before.
After eight long years, I got myself and my life back. But even better than that, I came home to myself and grew into a wholeness and purpose that’s truly unparalleled by any other chapter of my life.
2021 was a reckoning.
2023 will be a reemergence you could never anticipate.
What’s coming is so big, so different, and so unlike anything that’s come before—from me or the industry—and I cannot wait to share.