Life Has Been Testing Me

I feel like life has been testing me.

Ever so gently asking how committed I am to becoming the person I’m here to be and continually moving towards all the visions and goals I’ve said are important. Checking to see if I can really stand steady amidst the chaos, expansion, and big emotions or if I’ll topple over as I have in the past.

Will I say no when it doesn’t feel aligned?
Will I recenter when knocked sideways?
Will I drop deeper into trust and surrender?
Will I open despite the impulse to close?
Will I ask for and receive support?
Will I use my voice when it’s scary and hard?
Will I pick softness as my source of strength?
Will I stay present and here for it all?

Yes.

Over and over again, yes.

This is the power of true healing and growth.

Not intellectual understandings and connecting all the dots, but truly diving deep into your body, being, and nervous system and excavating what’s been stored. Releasing the trauma, grief, and emotions that have been stuck for so long, you don’t even realize how woven into your worldview, experiences, reactions, and responses they’ve become.

Understanding is supportive, but it’s not freedom. Understanding gives us leverage, but often not enough to create new and different outcomes. It simply allows us to slow down (sometimes and only to certain degrees) and make sense of what’s happening, but it doesn’t give us the space to make entirely new choices. It doesn’t give us the freedom to experience triggers and stay wholly unfazed and unaffected because the old (and deeply layered) charged particles no longer live inside our cells. We’ve processed, metabolized, and detoxed them out.

Healing can take time, but it requires going deeper than you’ve ever gone before.

It can’t just be intellectual.

If you want true freedom, processing is where it’s at. Book a consult if you’re looking to dive into this work, I’d be honored to support you.