When I was in the deepest depths of my grief after loss and trauma, a mentor presented an idea to me:
“What if instead of hitting rock bottom, you decide to raise the bottom to meet you where you are, and this can be it?”
And not always the right choice.
I’ve learned over the years that my willingness to drop deeper than most is terrifying and uncomfortable to those around me.
I will actively seek to bottom out when most people will do everything to avoid it. I will intentionally lean into my dark and twisties, setting up camp right in the very heart of it when others believe I should be fighting to get myself out.
Because I know this truth:
There are times we can and should raise rock bottom to where we’re at, deciding to be done and to start moving upwards from that point. And there are also times that bottoming out is oh so necessary and important.
It’s not that our life has to come undone for true healing and growth to begin; it’s that we must feel what’s flowing through our bodies fully, processing it out of our cells and nervous system to become truly free. We have to go into the places that are scary, challenging, and uncomfortable beyond belief to let go, get clear on what’s holding us back, and learn certain lessons that make it possible to rise up higher than ever before.
I choose to raise the bottom to where I’m at sometimes, and I actively seek to bottom out in others so that I know I’ve processed everything standing in my way.
Both lead to more freedom, expansion, and joy if you know when they’re necessary.
We know when we’re avoiding.
We know when we’re choosing to wallow.
What’s most important is that we decide to do whatever it takes to heal and grow to become our most fully expressed selves and live aligned with our purpose in this life.
And, of course, get help if you’re stuck at a bottom you don’t want to be in. Depression and darkness are not spaces we have to navigate alone, nor should we hang out there longer than is needed or necessary. You can feel happy and whole again. You can feel joyful and alive and madly in love with life. There’s always a way out of the darkness; you might just need a helping hand.