It’s happened to all of us.
We work hard, push ourselves to the limit, and hit a wall.
Suddenly, we can’t do anything right.
Everything feels like an effort.
Things fall apart left and right.
Self-sabotage is the name of the game.
This is our upper limit. The point at which we’ve pushed ourselves as far as we can go (or really, just as far as we’ve ever gone or allowed ourselves to go before).
So what do you do when you reach your upper limit? How do you breakthrough and continue achieving your goals? In this post, I’m sharing some tips for pushing yourself past your upper limit so you can make “impossible” things happen!
First of all, what is an upper limit?
Gay Hendricks is an American author, speaker, and counselor who believes that everyone has an “upper limit,” the point beyond which they will not allow themselves to go. When people hit their upper limit, they experience anxiety, fear, or other emotions that prevent them from achieving their goals or reaching their full potential. It’s the line in the sand that you just can’t seem to cross.
You can never seem to make more money.
You keep dating the same types of partners, even if they get slightly better.
You never get that promotion, land the bigger clients, or attract great team.
You can’t lose that last five or ten pounds, no matter what you do.
You get the idea.
Even if you do manage to get past your upper limit, you can’t seem to hold it. You self-sabotage your weight loss or the great new relationship, overspend or have an unexpected expense when the extra money comes in, or you fumble the interview for that next-level position you really wanted to land.
It’s important not to make yourself wrong or beat yourself up, everyone has an upper limit in some area of their life. And, everyone will continue to hit those upper limits the more they grow and go after bigger and bigger desires.
How common is an upper limit?
Almost everyone experiences an upper limit at some point in their lives. It’s a natural occurrence that happens when we try to push ourselves too hard. We all have different limits, and we all hit them at different times. Some people hit their limits early on in life, while others don’t reach theirs until later. There’s no right or wrong time to hit your limit. It all depends on the individual.
If you’re wondering whether or not you’ve hit an upper limit, ask yourself if you’re feeling stuck. If you are, it’s a good indication that you might be upper limiting. Other signs include feeling like you’re not good enough or that you don’t deserve what you want. If any of these sound familiar, it’s worth taking a closer look at the situation to see if an upper limit is the reason why.
Remember, an upper limit is not a bad thing. It’s simply a sign that we need to take a step back and reassess our goals. With a little bit of effort, we can move past our limits and achieve anything we set our minds to.
There are a few signs that you’ve hit your upper limit.
The biggest sign is that you’ve stopped.
We all have different ways of stopping ourselves, mostly unconscious. It can look like overbooking yourself and being “too busy” to do the things you need to do. It can be that other people need you, especially family and children. You might get sick, have car trouble, or find yourself feeling overwhelmed or depressed. Look back at all the times you’ve stopped moving towards what you want and make note of what stopped you. No judgment, we all have our subconscious stoppers that come up when we’re going for more.
Another sign is when you feel stuck.
You feel like you’re spinning your wheels and getting nowhere. No matter what you do, you can’t seem to make anything significant happen. You’re getting discouraged and telling yourself stories about why everyone else can have the things you want, but you’re somehow the exception. Stories are a huge element in upper limiting, and just like with our subconscious stoppers, there’s no benefit to judging ourselves. Everyone has stories linked to our deepest core wounds and fears. They’re an easy way for our subconscious to get us to stop. Notice the stories you’re telling yourself and do the work to untangle them.
One last sign is that you throw away success.
This is another form of self-sabotage from our subconscious.
This looks like hitting your goal weight and then binging on donuts. It can be landing a great job and then quitting for some arbitrary reason because you’re scared you can’t do it well enough. It might be cheating on your great new partner with your toxic ex or blowing all your hard-earned extra cash on something you don’t need, keeping you from the things you were saving for.
If you’re upper limiting, it’s important to take a step back and assess the situation.
- What are you afraid of?
- What are the stories you’re telling yourself?
- What are you doing that’s not working?
- What can you change?
- Where do you need support?
Sometimes, all it takes is a small shift in perspective to break through your upper limit. Other times, it might take a bit more work. But if you’re willing to put in the effort, you can move past your upper limit and achieve anything you want.
How to break through your upper limit.
When it comes to breaking through your upper limit, the first step is acknowledging that it exists.
We all have an internal set point—a comfort zone—and we often resist anything that threatens to take us out of it. Our upper limit is essentially our self-imposed ceiling on what we’re capable of achieving. This may seem like a no-brainer, but many people are unaware of the things that are holding them back. Once you’re aware of your limit, it’s time to start pushing against it. One way to do this is to set small goals that are just outside of your comfort zone. By accomplishing these goals, you’ll start to build momentum and confidence. Once you have a few small wins under your belt, you can start setting bigger goals.
The next step is to start pushing yourself, little by little.
It’s not about making a huge leap; it’s about taking small steps consistently. As you do, you’ll begin to expand your comfort zone and break through your upper limit. Of course, this process can be scary; after all, we’re stepping into the unknown. But remember that fear is just a sign that we’re growing. So don’t be afraid to push your limits; it’s the only way to break through them.
Another way is to get rid of any negative self-talk.
The first step is acknowledging that you do it. A lot of the time we are unaware of how often we put ourselves down. Once you start to become aware of your negative self-talk, you can begin to catch yourself in the act. The next step is to slowly start changing the language you use when talking to yourself. This may seem difficult at first, but it is important to be patient with yourself. Start by acknowledging the positive things you do, no matter how small they may seem.
It’s also important to get rid of any negative beliefs you have about yourself. A lot of the time, our negative self-talk is a result of underlying limiting beliefs. Once you identify these beliefs, you can start to challenge them. Be gentle with yourself. This process takes time and there will be setbacks along the way. The most important thing is that you keep moving forward. If your negative self-talk is really bad, consider working with a coach to reframe your negative thoughts.
Lastly, surround yourself with people who support your goals.
Find a community of like-minded individuals who will cheer you on as you strive to reach your full potential. These people will be there for you when you need motivation and encouragement. They will also help you stay accountable to your goals. One of the best ways to find supportive people is to join a community or group that shares your interests. There are many online and offline communities that you can join. There are also many meetups and events that you can attend. Another great way to find supportive people is to reach out to your family and friends. Let them know about your goals and ask for their support. They will be more than happy to help you achieve your goals. So, don’t go it alone. Find people who will support your goals and help you achieve them. You’ll be glad you did.
Making seemingly impossible things happen in any area of your life is my specialty, and I have a proven process that goes against much of what you’ve learned about manifestation and goal achievement in the past.
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